Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

[brackenbury]

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

That’s what Im wondering.

This person is 43?!

It's reminding me of that Blackadder episode "Beer," where one of the party of drunken oafs keeps picking up on random words in the conversation and saying things like, "Way-hey! Sounds a bit rude, doesn't it? Sounds a bit like... BUM!"

Except that even the drunken oaf in Blackadder picked a different word each time...

Oh he sounds super horrible, I'm so sorry that you had that experience. It is hard out there I lost a lot of faith in men doing OLD but after a while a lovely one popped up for me. One of mine told me he didn't know milk came from cows. 😬😬😬😬

He's the problem not you.

He sounds like a prize twerp to be honest. I'm sorry the date was such a let down.

Hopefully you'll find someone better.

He sounds thick and was negging you. You have a great job and he knows it. His joke makes him sound very dim. In the bin with this one.

Hi Dickhead date. Id really rather drink a cup of cold sick then go for a second date with you. I know you think you were really hilarious calling me a paedo all throughout the date but it was just a bit pathetic. Here's a list of comedians I find funny notice your name's not on it. unkind regards.

Clearly not a match on an intellectual level. I’m sorry you had this experience. I’m intrigued to know what job he does?

I'd tell him. Just say No, you're just way too immature and juvenile. I'm wanting a relationship with a man, not an overgrown schoolboy who still thinks pedo jokes are funny.

Oh god he sounds like a sniggering schoolboy!
What a prat.

I agree. No response is all he deserves.

He's clearly intimidated by your profession and feels the need to take you down a peg or few.

The joke was on him, and he was embarrassing himself by exposing his immaturity and childishness.

I'd go another P - pompous.

'I'm looking for somebody of an intellectual level approaching that of my own and preferably one that has been adequately socialised as a child. You have proven to be wholly inadequate in that regard.' then block.

Or just 'Lol, no' and block?

Agree, with others for was trying to belittle you and mock your career as you are probably more intelligent and successful than him. He is a nob.

Rank! What did you do about it? Did you call him out on his vulgarity? Did you discuss it with his supervisor/ manager? If not why not? Is he still registered with NMC? You’re a consultant psychiatrist so presumably the male nurse looks after vulnerable patients? Female patients?

Perhaps because you saw the date out he thinks he went OK?

I'd be tempted to reply "another date? I'm not desperate".

But just ignoring is probably the way to go.

This actually made me laugh out loud.

OP I don’t think I could help myself but send a shitty reply back. What a vulgar thing to do to use a derogatory term to make an unfunny joke about your profession. Honestly the fact that these people think they’re worth seeing is laughable. What a prat.

He knows he is not good enough for you !
and is covering his inadequacies by this ' joke '

I am sure if you can't find a suitable one liner to dump him, someone on MN will !

He sounds like an immature idiot. Block him.

I wouldn't respond. Why give him tips on how to hide what a red flag he is to other woman? Let him show his true colours right away to them too.

I'm sorry that happened to you. What a imbecile. Don't let it turn you off to everyone OLD, though.

He sounds thick and not worth a second of your time OP. This reminds me of when I was studying A Level Law- our tutor was telling us about a certain red top paper that named and shamed pedophiles. An actual pediatrician was mistakenly named. The paper's thick, inbred and far-right readers actually mistook this to mean pedophile and the poor man had his windows put through and had to move I believe! I won't name the paper on here but you'll probably be able to guess from my username.....

Just no. He will only get worse

This. And why on earth did you sit there for a whole evening politely enduring his taunts?

💯. Someone that ignorant would probably get a kick out of knowing he’d upset OP. If it were me he’s totally undeserving of any further communication and I’d personally just do a cold block and let him try to figure out what he did wrong. That kind of man will forever be secretly resentful of your work even if he doesn’t directly say. I’m a senior project manager and my ex (manual/factory operative) was jealous of that! Ridiculous as I loved him for him not the job but despite initially telling me he loved my independence and fact I had achieved a good career, later he hated it. I think now he was just one of those that felt emasculated if he wasn’t the higher earner/ professional’ one in the couple 😐.

You can do far better than a thick salesman OP. Having said that I have no idea where decent men are to be found (having completely failed myself) but I wish you all the luck in the world. I suspect the answer to true happiness is NOT dating sites, or men.