Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

[brackenbury]

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

He sounds like a 12yr old. Block him and move on.

He sounds thick and childish. Not worth responding to in my opinion.

He doesn’t sound very bright and his sense of humour is shite.

He's not worth the reply OP. Just block. If at 43 he hasn't realised that this crap just isn't funny, he never will.

You’re a paediatrician so are presumably a well educated person who has worked hard to get where they are today. He is a loser, and a sore one at that. He probably feels inferior to you, which is his problem, not yours. Bin him. Next!

Yes, that's what I was thinking.

I'd have been out of there!

Wow, imagine being that juvenile and also so illiterate that you don't understand the root word "paed." Maybe you can find it in your heart to have pity for the idiot? And of course, never talk to him again.

What a pathetic man! I’m a psychologist and it serves as a pretty good filter for men (before I was married); the number of stupid comments I received about my job was astonishing. Obviously I didn’t bother with any of those men.

Onwards and upwards OP, there are better men out there. You’ve just got to tread through the quagmire to find them.

@sammylady37 what happened after you found out, did you complain about him, is he still an active nurse?

Block and move on, he’s a man child and is too old to change.

No need to insult pelicans 😆.

OP - don’t dignify with a response that will help him. He was very childish about your wonderful vocation and that shouldn’t need explaining to him.

What a weirdo 😭😭

Block and delete honestly. He was trying to humble you because he is insecure about your intelligence

You're way too good for him - not even because youre a doctor but because he is a twat 😭 xx

Exactly what I thought. He's blatantly intimidated by a woman with an important job so just had to try drag her down a few pegs. You've dodged a bullet there @brackenbury . He'd have definitely turned out to be an abusive twat because he couldn't handle the fact you're better than him in every way. Block and best of luck if you try again 🤞

I’d definitely reply to him to turn him down, he sounds so puerile. “Thanks for the offer of another date but the one we already had was enough for me to realise I don’t find you, or your sense of humour, attractive. All the best” then block.

It's not OP's job to "help him."

What a complete and utter tit.

"No thanks. Your silly, immature "jokes" about my career choice have made it clear we have nothing in common. I recommend you try to be less juvenile with your next date. Goodbye."

I would reply and say: You must be joking - then block immediately.

You're way out of this twit's league.

@brackenbury I’m in my 20s and I’m learning to be better at picking up on awkward situations and leaving. If I was on your date, I would have found an excuse to go home, whether that’s just telling him straight that it’s not working out for you or telling a white lie. I couldn’t pretend to be cordial to a guy using child sex abuse as a joke in that manner - as a paediatrician consultant his commentary surely would have made you shudder and realise you’re dealing with someone incompatible? So any time you remained with him after establishing you’re uncomfortable was a waste of your time.

Will that be his party trick? This is my gf, she is a paedo.
What a fkwit!! Dismissed all your years of training and education just like that. Good news is you saw his real self. It won't get better. Dump and block right now!

He doesn't sound the brightest; I'd just ignore, block and move on.

Was there no hint as to his immaturity in the conversations you had before actually meeting him?

I’d want to say what an immature idiot he is. Apps attract all kinds of weirdos, that haven’t got a clue how to talk to a woman. Not quite as bad but a fair few have found it hilarious to call me a Milf on date despite a relatively small age gap in years, think 5 not 20 years! and wondered why I don’t want to date them again.
it’s like inviting any random on a date basically and hoping they are on the same level, quite often they aren’t, however normal they seem by messaging.

It can be so tempting to think of fabulous ways to come back at pricks like this but please don't bother. There is no way he'll take on any criticism, it will all be rebounded to you (no sense of humour, uptight, yadda yadda bullshit). If he was resposive to criticism he would be unlikely to be such a twat in the first place. He's not worth your time.

I work in FinTech. This tracks.
Seriously though, what an arse.
No explanation. Just leave it. It will hurt his ego more.

I wonder how you can establish whether someone is your intellectual equal, before you meet up? Someone finding the word 'paediatrician' amusing is Homer Simpson level. Maybe work out some discussion topics you can raise whilst talking online that would highlight this?

I would let him know you're not interested in dating him as you found him puerile, then he will have to look it up and you will increase to 3 the number of hard words he knows beginning with P.