Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

[brackenbury]

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

What does he do for a living?

Sorry you had to deal with this man child block him and move on. Life is way too short.

As for 2 to 3 weeks of messaging - that’s another waste of your time! if you like the sound of someone arrange to meet for a coffee straight away; you will know within minutes whether you like this person or not. Coffee can last 20 minutes and you are out of there. you cannot get to know somebody via text, as you have just proven. what a waste of those three weeks of your precious life have been! you deserve way way better and yet here you are still talking about somebody who wasted so much of your time already. Let him be someone else’s waste of time and spend your time attracting the kind of person that you want and deserve.

What a idiot

What a brainless moran

Nobody cares about idiotic men like this. They deserve to be blocked and ghosted. I don't waste my time giving lengthy explanations to puerile stupid people.

You should have ended the date early. Just tell him. He gives you the ick. His behaviour was out of order.

Block and move on - no future with any person who finds something like that amusing - (what is his job, just out of interest)? x

For the posters asking what this loser does for a job, the OP has answered the question! “He said he was head of sales (for a Fintech company).”

the phd she holds suggests that, which Is why I said mansplain it him or did you miss that part, seeing as everything in medicine contains a Latin or Greek pre fix

i always get the greek / Latin pre fixes mixed up for some strange reason

Definitely this ^^ ; would like to see his face when he realises that he is blocked.😁

Don’t educate him. There’s a case for zero feedback so he shows his true self to the next woman he dates and she can make the same choice to block him and move on with her life to better pickings.

Feedback to these pricks only helps them hide it better (temporarily) for the next unsuspecting woman…

Just block.

Jeez yes. Ghosting ‘with extreme prejudice’ is what’s required.

Bloody hell NO. Men have every opportunity to educate themselves, thank you very much.
Anyway, blank rejection is a lesson too, inasmuch as it jolts dolts into an awareness that not every woman will adore his boorish behaviour, despite their belief that ‘females’ are desperate for ‘it’.

You have to be having a laugh?

He spent the entire night calling her a paedo to her face and making a tit of himself in a restaurant.

He's pond life.

@MsAmerica ghosting is the right thing to do here. If the OP decided to explain why she doesn't wish to see him again he might turn nasty. He's halfway there already and a total tool.

Ghosted leaves him guessing and far less likely to turn nasty.

This man's brain is on the same level as the mob who attacked a doctor's house 20+ years ago because the vigilantes confused the words paediatrician and paedophile

I remember that and it's got to be one of the dumbest things ever.
Iirc wasn't it a brass plaque stating occupation and thus the paedo graffiti was daubed.

It would be nice if people learned from silent rejection, but it's not necessarily true.
I used to work for someone who had, over the years, a bunch of secretary/assistant women quit because he was very unpleasant. But he used to say, "Oh, she was crazy" and "She just didn't know what she wanted" and "She was a flake." It never crossed his mind to wonder if his behavior was the problem.

Men like that are being wilfully ignorant. If a woman spells out their bad behaviour to them they rarely say “oh hey now I get it, will do better next time”.

They double down and get on the defensive.

If you’re a grown man that can’t see that making “paedo” jokes is highly inadvisable you’re already so far gone, because I don’t know one man - even the socially awkward ones - that would find this acceptable.

You don’t need to be particularly emotionally or socially intelligent to know this was a terrible “joke” especially for a first date.

So if he doesn’t learn from this and figure out where he went wrong that’s a him problem.

Block, but before you move on send a polite message to say:

Thank you for the date and that you will not be continuing to interact with him. He will be left not knowing.

@ThisPearlOtter Why? He’s not been polite to her. His bizarre behaviour does not warrant a response.

‘Sorry but we are intellectually incompatible’.

your actions in the world, are all part of what returns.

On the contrary, her refusal for further communication sends a very strong message to him.

I’d reply and say either you were intimidated by a woman having an important job or you have an unhealthy obsession with peados. Either way it gives the ick so I’m not interested in continuing this.