Teacher here... did I fuck up?

[ForSillyGreySwan]

I went through my classroom rules.

1. don't argue with my instructions
2. treat me with the same respect as a male teacher (had sexist comments last year)
3. phones handed in at start
4. don't talk while i'm explaining

(I am a young female teacher who doesn't want to encounter any behavioural issues so i'm being firm from the start.)

I said 'if you have an issue with any of these rules, feel free to discuss them with the principal'.

In short, one of them actually did and now I'm being called into a meeting about it with the very principal I referred them to. Meeting is at 10am tomorrow. Really anxious about it.

Which one did they have an issue with? Number 2 I’m assuming?

Do you know which aspect they had a issue with.? Assuming they might be sexist without knowing them I suspect.

I would tell the principal it’s because you expected the principal to back you up should they ever have an issue but you of course didn’t expect a smart arse to act upon it immediately. I’m absolutely sure this will be forgotten about in a couple of weeks.

Was it number two?

If it’s number 2…and they try and tell you, it’s wrong turn it around on the headteacher and ask them what have they done to support you and others in tackling the sexist comment you faced

Number 2 should just be: Be respectful.

Why did you say to discuss with the principal, if in fact you didn’t mean it? Either you are confident that they will back you up, or you're not.

Personally I hate it when people tell me off for things I haven't yet done, so that would be what I complained about. Why are you assuming I am going to argue?!

It's quite a provocative pre judgement to make of you've never met the group before.

I bet it's 1. Everything feels like a negotiation these days, teachers aren't always right, every view point is valid, etc.

Or maybe 4. What if I don't understand, what if it's not clear, etc.

if you start soft, you can't go back and start new boundaries. boundaries have to be set at the very start otherwise kids will walk all over you

Tone and style of delivery are key here. On the face of it, what you said sounds quite passive aggressive and like you are holding this group responsible for how others have behaved. That doesn't land well and I expect is why they have approached the principal.

This rule "treat me with the same respect as a male teacher" is a poor rule. It allows them to treat you without respect... Because they can argue they don't respect any male teachers

It should just say t"treat me and each other with respect". Or similar.
..

What's the schools policy on phones? Handing them in at the start of every lesson seems a faff.

More generally, it would be better to phrase these positively, telling them what you DO want to see from them:

1. Follow instructions
2. Be respectful
3. Hand in your phone
4. Listen carefully.

I wouldn't have said number 2. You're accusing them of being sexist from the off. You could have just said "Treat me with respect".

This would get my back up.
Its starting off with a negative tone. As said above deal with issues as they happen individually.

cant waste class time arguing with students who want to argue about petty shit, thats not how stuff gets learned, just wastes everyones time

I think your rules are spot on. Am a TA in a school and I like them.

<3

1. don't argue with my instructions
2. treat me with the same respect as a male teacher (had sexist comments last year)
3. phones handed in at start
4. don't talk while i'm explaining

If you said the rules as blunt as that then yeh I’d say you fucked up

If you wait for one of the kids to be a twat then set the boundaries, its 10x harder then just setting them at the beginning

How?!

LITERALLY, this is what i will say word for word.

I think rule 2 is totally reasonable if you had trouble last year.

I said 'if you have an issue with any of these rules, feel free to discuss them with the principal'.

Did you agree this with the Principal beforehand?