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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So lonely even DD and DH don't understand me.

331 replies

Thevegetarianchef · 09/09/2025 07:22

So after a lifetime of anxiety and bouts of depression I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and autistic traits.
This has been helpful with regard to work relationships.
Not so much my home life.At the weekend we met up with DD who left home nearly ten yrs ago.She lives hundreds of miles away so we see each other every few months.
We had all gone shopping not DHS favourite past time and were grabbing a coffee or going back.
They wanted coffee in a cosy cramped hot cafe.
I wasn't so sure.Off DD stomped and I know she gets handgry as this has happened before.
DH ran after her. We settled on good old Mand S which was spacious.
Am I unreasonable to expect anyone in my own family to realise I struggle and have always with cramped spaces or to find out about my diagnosis as DH said I Keep going on about it.I have linked articles for him to read to understand.
I feel so lonely and misunderstood and isolated already.

OP posts:
PaperSheet · 09/09/2025 13:22

Greysowhat · 09/09/2025 13:20

It's not about getting what you want 🙄

Fine. Swap want for need. In a case where everyone has conflicting NEEDS and you cannot accommodate them all, the fact is either no one gets what they NEED or those that moan the loudest get their NEEDS met and the others don’t.

ILoveWhales · 09/09/2025 13:24

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 09/09/2025 13:21

Let me explain to you what it can be like. Imagine sitting somewhere, your ADHD makes you hyper vigilant. You have no choice but to listen to every conversation going on round you, look at and assess the actions of everyone. It’s not a choice, it is your body’s natural way of being, you can’t shut it off. Then imagine how over stimulating that can be. Potentially you can cut out the noise with headphones, but then your body can still see so it might become even more distracted. You can’t sit with your back to people because your body panics not being able to observe. You have trouble processing anything being said to you because you likely have auditory processing disorder. So your body goes into fight or flight ?previously your mask used to slip occasionally and you would start an argument over something seemingly trivial), now your prefrontal cortex has shut down and you can’t make a decision over what to eat.drink because the decision part of your brain has gone offline. You’re sure that table is laughing at you, esp the one in the red jumper, red jumper, didn’t there used to be a tv programme with someone in a red jumper you watched as a kid, oh banana splits was a tv programme then, when did that run? You grab your phone to google, a notification of a facebook post pops up, you doom scroll on Facebook and that provides relief from the noise. You suddenly become aware of your husband and daughter looking angrily at you asking what you want to eat. You haven’t a clue so you pick the third one down as it’s your default )I’m vegan partly for this reason choices are made for you). You can’t join in the conversation because you can’t process what is being said, with all the distractions of listening into everyone else’s conversation - everyone is now in a mood, you’re eating food you hate, it has a terrible texture and you feel ill. You leave to go to the loo, you need to hide - you’re in a heightened emotional state, adrenaline cortisol is high. You try all your visualisation and breathing exercises. You go back, get accused of ruining lunch, you’ll still be going over this in 5 years time. You have zero control over any of the above. You’re so exhausted due to all the hormonal fluctuations the situation created you spend the afternoon in bed - guilt ridden hating yourself.

Or you could all just go to M&S and have a quiet lunch

Edited

Or you could all just go to M&S and have a quite lunch

I had no idea every m&s cafe was ND friendly with nothing and nobody to trigger. Fascinating. They certainly havent been silent and empty when I've been. Far from it.

KateMiskin · 09/09/2025 13:25

Thevegetarianchef · 09/09/2025 13:07

Katemiskin we hardly see DD so usually we just chill or go to a nature reserve.
She has a very busy social life and DH plays sports has sporting holidays watches sport on TV be it football or grand Prix or rugby.
If we visit her we go to the beach.

Are they bored with just the beach or a nature reserve? Have you asked them?

Your responses are very terse, so it's quite hard to tell if your family is happy or not.

I should think most young people wouldnt want to hang out at a nature reserve all the time.

So then it comes down to your needs versus theirs. You shouldn't be forced to go to the cinema or on holiday..But equally they can't be forced to be overflowing with joy at going to a nature reserve.

whitewineandsun · 09/09/2025 13:29

KateMiskin · 09/09/2025 13:25

Are they bored with just the beach or a nature reserve? Have you asked them?

Your responses are very terse, so it's quite hard to tell if your family is happy or not.

I should think most young people wouldnt want to hang out at a nature reserve all the time.

So then it comes down to your needs versus theirs. You shouldn't be forced to go to the cinema or on holiday..But equally they can't be forced to be overflowing with joy at going to a nature reserve.

Agree. I would have been bored to tears at nature reserves at that age.

Upstartled · 09/09/2025 13:30

I actually can't abide m&s cafes. It's like being at the school canteen. There's practically nothing to absorb all the usual noises and every clatter and squeak is magnified. I'm nt but you can keep it.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/09/2025 13:33

Sadgirl101 · 09/09/2025 09:24

Ok... I say all of this very gently and to try and help you, as a late diagnosed ADHD female, with likely Autistic traits myself. It's going to be long, sorry.

For the sake of your relationships, you need to try and reflect and be honest with yourself, even if not us, about this statement. I know others are saying your diagnosis makes no difference, but I think it massively affects your perception and processing of situations/events, I know mine does, and I constantly find myself making myself pause to consider their POV.

Based on what you have said so far, it is incredibly unlikely that both DH and DD are having spontaneous temper tantrums for no reason, you're just not recognising the steps that got there.

For starters the "compromises all weekend"

  • Did they know you were compromising?
Compromise requires communication - were they aware your preference was something else? Had you communicated your suggestion, but agreed to go along with theirs on this occasion? If so, did you do so willingly and enjoy the situation, or were you visibly anxious, uncomfortable, closed off and ruining the experience for everyone because they could see how unhappy you were? This won't have felt like compromise to them if the vibe made it so abundantly about the fact you didn't want to be there. Did you say nothing, mask and suck it up, and so they were genuinely unaware that you had made any compromises for them? If so, they can't have known that you made compromises or allowances and that you were expecting this reciprocated, because they didn't know you weren't happy with the choices made. Or did you not actually have a preference and were happy to go along with theirs? Because that isn't something you can now retrospectively frame as a compromise.

Often in these situations I find the conflict/blow up comes because I haven't expressed calmly and in a non emotive way my preferences or POV until the point at which I'm disregulated by the situation, by which point it's impossible to communicate them regularly.

At what point did you communicate that your preference was for a quiet location?
The ideal time for this was when coffee was decided. "Yeah that's a great idea DD, let's grab a drink before we head back. Shopping has really taken it out of me, any chance we can head somewhere that's not too packed so I can catch my breath?"
If someone said the above, before you've headed anywhere, it's far easier to have a quick think about where's likely to fit that criteria and go there, and they likely never would have picked somewhere unsuitable. If someone said nothing, let us walk when already tired and hungry to one spot, and then was told that didn't suit and someone wanted to go somewhere else, probably in a different direction, I'd be annoyed that they just hadn't said that from the outset.

You cannot, and should not, avoid all discomfort. Masking is not inherently bad/ It's important to learn how to juggle your social battery
I think it's really easy with a late diagnosis (meaning as an adult, because I guess as a child you have limited say in what or how much changes) to have an epiphany of "all these things I thought everyone felt/did/struggled with, they don't, and not everyone has to mask to achieve these things, therefore I will be like them and stop masking.
Masking I'm noticing seems to be talked about more and more, particularly in ND circles as a negative thing and sometimes to be avoided at all costs, which feels a bit dangerous and unhelpful. It's a life skill. NT people mask all the time, at work, socialising with a partner's friends who they don't particularly like, at kids events/PTA stuff. It's a persona, a version of you adapted for the environment. The issue with masking in NDs is that you can find yourself needing to do it constantly, which leads to all sorts of issues as it's not sustainable. But that doesn't mean you can't/never should. If you have been able to eat/drink in cramped coffee shops before, you can do it again. It might be more of a drain on your social battery, but you could do it. Late diagnosed people saying they 'cant' do something actually mean "I am no longer interested in masking my feelings in this scenario" which is valid, only they can choose what they will and won't mask for but you can't then be surprised that others are frustrated by that lack of compromise, when they themselves often mask for short periods for the benefit of those around them.
For example, I won't mask on a date, because it's important to me that any potential partner was comfortable with the slightly chaotic version of me, I would never want to have to mask permanently around someone I was in a relationship with, nor do I particularly mask around my ND friends because we're cut from the same cloth and it's a bit different, but I absolutely would mask some elements in social situations where social norms required me to talk less, interact with people I wouldn't normally, etc. I'm not a fan of crowded, busy places, but I could grin and bear it for a half hour if that decision suited the majority. But that resilience and masking is a skill that needs practice. Allowing yourself to avoid anything that makes you feel uncomfortable does not help in the long run.

Which brings me onto the second part of this last subheading about managing your social battery. Perhaps look at the spoon theory if you haven't already, it was designed with chronic illness in mind but has similar applications to mental/emotional load/resilience for ND brains. In essence, it's about viewing spoons as capacity and knowing how many spoons you have on a given day (which varies according to multiple factors) and how many spoons certain activities/environments "cost". The idea is not to spend more spoons than you have, but for me (I'm sure it's not as straightforward forward in cases of chronic illness) I'm open to borrowing from future days, you just factor this in. And that doesn't mean spending the spoons on the bits that work for you and then simply telling others their choices can't happen as you're sold out, there's an obligation to you to pace yourself. If that means you know that you've got a busy evening, you have a slightly quieter day, or that you cut shopping short by a busy shop or 2 to leave spoons for coffee without feeling on the edge, then that's something to do.
From DHs perspective. If I had dragged around the shops, with no real interest in it, and I thought the trade off was that I was going to get a "nice" coffee in an independent coffee shop with a cake or a treat, and then because the person who wanted to go shopping had shopped herself out, we ended up in a soulless M&S cafe with shipped in and defrosted cake, I'd be really disappointed.

Its not clear whether you saw DD all weekend, or just for shopping (you say in first post you met upnwith her, but then say all TV and food choices were "theirs") which implies DD may have been about all weekend, and it's also not clear whether you travelled to her or vice versa, but it probably could have been predicted that this weekend/day might have been overstimulating/overwhelming for you and so I would have been planning my day(s) either side to be as low stimulation as needed to allow me to rally and mask as needed to make the most of my time with a DD you rarely see. Alternatively, choosing not to do anything that doesn't feel you with joy and/or makes you uncomfortable is a choice, and that's valid, but it's important you are aware that is a conscious choice, and then not to be surprised or put out if those around you are either exasperated/annoyed, or choose to start doing things without you .

It requires give and take, and if they can see genuine effort on your part, they're far more likely to try and meet you in the middle, but your posts read a bit like your idea of compromise is factored entirely around your diagnosis and how you want things to go, with little consideration for what they would like to do.

I would suggest some therapy with someone well versed in ND clients. It's important you use the diagnosis as a blueprint to yourself to enable an understanding of yourself and use this to find strategies and tools to help you thrive, and to reframe conversations and situations where we feel misunderstood and consider alternative POVS, not as a reason to expect those around you to prioritise your wishes above all others at all times. It takes a huge amount of work and self awareness, but it'll be worth it!

What a thoroughly brilliant post

ILoveWhales · 09/09/2025 13:33

Upstartled · 09/09/2025 13:30

I actually can't abide m&s cafes. It's like being at the school canteen. There's practically nothing to absorb all the usual noises and every clatter and squeak is magnified. I'm nt but you can keep it.

Edited

The food is absolutely shit too sandwiches that can be bought in the shop for half the price and coffees out of a push button machine.

They are hard floors and surfaces and uncomfortable chairs and everything echoes accordingly. A sensory nightmare.

DeathstarDarling · 09/09/2025 13:37

Your diagnosis is primarily for you - to understand why you are like you are, and to enable you to find coping strategies. It is not validation- it does not make you right, or the person who has to be accommodated all the time.

It may help those around you understand why you are like you are, but for most of them nothing has changed, and it may even look like you are a bit self obsessed to keep going on about it or or expect everyone one to want to read about your condition. You are not your families special interest or hobby. You might find it fascinating but they are not likely to. Imagine if a friend with say, arthritis, sent everyone articles about their condition and expected you to swot up on it.

Everyone is different, and everyone, even those of us without a label, finds certain things difficult. You might find it helpful to have a think about the difference between difficult and unbearable activities, and find coping strategies for the former so you can be more flexible when other peoples needs and desires come up against your own.

Its very hard to feel lonely and misunderstood, but the way out of this is to meet people halfway. If you try and do this you may find the people close to you appreciate the effort you are making and become more accommodating of the things that are just not possible for you. Even if they don't you find that they find you easier and more likable, and want to do things with you more often.

Lanzarotelady · 09/09/2025 13:40

McSpoot · 09/09/2025 09:02

No, she said it wasn't her DH's favourite activity. In a further post, she said that sometimes her DH and DD would go eat while she shopped - so seems like shopping is one of the OP's favourite activities (not a favourite activity of the others).

It was a typo - I missed DH out of my sentence - I still think it was a disaster waiting to happen.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 09/09/2025 13:44

What a patronising and dogmatic post, @DeathstarDarling. I doubt it has much relevance to OP, but it certainly tells us plenty about you.

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 09/09/2025 13:45

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 09/09/2025 13:21

Let me explain to you what it can be like. Imagine sitting somewhere, your ADHD makes you hyper vigilant. You have no choice but to listen to every conversation going on round you, look at and assess the actions of everyone. It’s not a choice, it is your body’s natural way of being, you can’t shut it off. Then imagine how over stimulating that can be. Potentially you can cut out the noise with headphones, but then your body can still see so it might become even more distracted. You can’t sit with your back to people because your body panics not being able to observe. You have trouble processing anything being said to you because you likely have auditory processing disorder. So your body goes into fight or flight ?previously your mask used to slip occasionally and you would start an argument over something seemingly trivial), now your prefrontal cortex has shut down and you can’t make a decision over what to eat.drink because the decision part of your brain has gone offline. You’re sure that table is laughing at you, esp the one in the red jumper, red jumper, didn’t there used to be a tv programme with someone in a red jumper you watched as a kid, oh banana splits was a tv programme then, when did that run? You grab your phone to google, a notification of a facebook post pops up, you doom scroll on Facebook and that provides relief from the noise. You suddenly become aware of your husband and daughter looking angrily at you asking what you want to eat. You haven’t a clue so you pick the third one down as it’s your default )I’m vegan partly for this reason choices are made for you). You can’t join in the conversation because you can’t process what is being said, with all the distractions of listening into everyone else’s conversation - everyone is now in a mood, you’re eating food you hate, it has a terrible texture and you feel ill. You leave to go to the loo, you need to hide - you’re in a heightened emotional state, adrenaline cortisol is high. You try all your visualisation and breathing exercises. You go back, get accused of ruining lunch, you’ll still be going over this in 5 years time. You have zero control over any of the above. You’re so exhausted due to all the hormonal fluctuations the situation created you spend the afternoon in bed - guilt ridden hating yourself.

Or you could all just go to M&S and have a quiet lunch

Edited

I don't want to be aggressive, but I'll give you a real life counter experience:

Imagine you have two severely disabled autistic children. Your life is full of nappies, trying to master (and failing) non verbal communication systems, and almost constant screaming because your children can't tell you what they need. You get 3 hours sleep a night, your children get up for the day and run around from 3am every morning so you need to take them out as early as possible or your house gets destroyed. You have your own sensory challenges associated with a mental illness you have but it is very poorly understood.

You visit a neurodivergent family member with your kids (because they are too anxious to visit you / change in routine, so if you didn't visit there would be no family relationship). Every outing together for the trip has to start after 11am because your ND family member has unusual sleeping patterns. Fine, but this means you've spent 8 hours already being attacked by your children and trying to minimise property damage in someone else's property. The ND family member picks where everyone is going, even if it's got nothing to do for the kids. The ND family member picks where to eat because the non verbal kids can't indicate their choice very well and no one has even asked you where you would like to eat. The ND family member needs to complete a routine on this day trip out, you realise the kids are becoming completely overwhelmed so you say you need to take the kids elsewhere (not in routine) so they can safely run off some steam. ND family member starts crying. By this point you are absolutely exhausted having been up since before dawn, bruised, have been dealing with screaming all day, no one has even asked you where you would like to go or what to eat and you have to explain to everyone why you have to put the needs of a tiny, severely disabled child before a middle-aged university educated adult.

This is not even a one off with one person, I have several experiences like this.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 09/09/2025 13:47

ILoveWhales · 09/09/2025 13:24

Or you could all just go to M&S and have a quite lunch

I had no idea every m&s cafe was ND friendly with nothing and nobody to trigger. Fascinating. They certainly havent been silent and empty when I've been. Far from it.

I haven’t been got an M&S cafe for years. This was the suggestion of the OP so is clearly where she feels less triggered as she describes it as quiet and open

arethereanyleftatall · 09/09/2025 13:52

I don’t agree with the comparing ND to physical disabilities.
The wheelchair bound person CANNOT walk, where as the person with ND CAN sit in a crowded cafe, it’s just that they’ll absolutely hate it.

Coffersmat · 09/09/2025 14:00

OP, is your husband a very selfish self absorbed man?
Have you spent you life bending yourself out of shape to accommodate your family?

Do you really want to remain married to such a man?
Get a new therapist.
Your family sounds selfish.
Start looking after yourself and thinking about what you want your future to look like.
And do you want your husband in it at all.

KateMiskin · 09/09/2025 14:04

Coffersmat · 09/09/2025 14:00

OP, is your husband a very selfish self absorbed man?
Have you spent you life bending yourself out of shape to accommodate your family?

Do you really want to remain married to such a man?
Get a new therapist.
Your family sounds selfish.
Start looking after yourself and thinking about what you want your future to look like.
And do you want your husband in it at all.

Where on earth have you got that? OP doesn't go on holiday or on public transport or in cinemas or to restaurants or any places with crowds, but he is the selfish one?

So baffling.

whitewineandsun · 09/09/2025 14:15

KateMiskin · 09/09/2025 14:04

Where on earth have you got that? OP doesn't go on holiday or on public transport or in cinemas or to restaurants or any places with crowds, but he is the selfish one?

So baffling.

Edited

But pretty standard MN. I'm surprised it took so long.

Shewasafaireh · 09/09/2025 14:25

Greysowhat · 09/09/2025 13:07

Just swap neurodivergent for autism then. You agree that autism is a disability ??

I don’t need to “agree”, it is legally recognised as a disability.

It still doesn’t mean people get to slap “ND” on every other action and claim it’s a disability, because the term ND in itself isn’t.

LillyPJ · 09/09/2025 14:28

ILoveWhales · 09/09/2025 13:24

Or you could all just go to M&S and have a quite lunch

I had no idea every m&s cafe was ND friendly with nothing and nobody to trigger. Fascinating. They certainly havent been silent and empty when I've been. Far from it.

Yes - I avoid our M&S cafe because it's bright and echoey and busy- certainly not restful and quiet.

Jom222 · 09/09/2025 14:42

I have a dear old friend who suffers from severe depression and a few years ago was diagnosed with idk some variant of bipolar

she's diagnosed with something new annually so I always take the news with a large grain of salt. Has always been a hypochondriac which I mostly ignore bc she's also a wonderful lovely person.

She wanted me to read a book-a fucking BOOK- about her new ailment so I'd understand it and her.

I flat out refused, said I've known and loved you for over 40 years and I won't participate in this. You're literally the same woman you were yesterday.

I didn't tell her my real feelings of irritation and anger that she thought it was okay to expect me to join her on her masturbatory search for her inner self. She ended up being so disappointed in all her close friends and relatives, nobody wanted to read books or the many articles she sent us all.

OP your diagnoses is about YOU. Nobody else. YOU need to learn how to integrate your diagnoses into making your life better now. It's wrong to expect anyone else to be researching it or thinking about how to make your life better. That's your job-your friends and family love you but don't place this burden on them.

Thevegetarianchef · 09/09/2025 14:56

Jom222 it's massively about the man I've spent 40 yrs with.

OP posts:
HoneyHoneyHowYouThrillMe · 09/09/2025 15:01

Omg @Jom222 that would've driven me (even more) mad!

Of course it's a bit different for OP. There's really nothing wrong with expecting her DH to actually pay some attention to helping her/supporting her in coming up with strategies to make things easier for everyone including himself. Understanding the problem goes quite a long way to coming up with solutions.

Just3ok · 09/09/2025 15:03

Thevegetarianchef · 09/09/2025 14:56

Jom222 it's massively about the man I've spent 40 yrs with.

And it’s been 40 years of unhappiness and then DD born and more unhappiness? And o going unhappiness ?

This is 3 adults…. All with their own issues that need addressing. Pronto

SallySuperTrooper · 09/09/2025 15:06

KateMiskin · 09/09/2025 14:04

Where on earth have you got that? OP doesn't go on holiday or on public transport or in cinemas or to restaurants or any places with crowds, but he is the selfish one?

So baffling.

Edited

It's mumsnet, of course the dh is in the wrong....🙄

Thevegetarianchef · 09/09/2025 15:09

Well this all kicked off massively.
We were shopping discussing whether to go back to the accommodation and get coffee and use up bits we had there.
A couple of steps in we see this cafe with big sofas rammed full.
I was still unsure when DD had a go and ran ahead.
I should've said ok you go in there.we walked another street and the next thing we were in m and s.
They ordered drinks and sat down while I mooched at clothes.
I joined then ten mins later drank my small coffee and we left.
While I'm realising it is not about me as I can and often do go without like when they grabbed ice cream.
We went away on our holiday nr DD so we could see her.
DH makes little attempt with the grown up dcs and I pointed out we could lose contact in the future.
It wasn't a martyr thing to holiday near by it was planned.
DH loves the dcs and is probably closer to DD through hobbies.

OP posts:
Just3ok · 09/09/2025 15:10

Thevegetarianchef · 09/09/2025 15:09

Well this all kicked off massively.
We were shopping discussing whether to go back to the accommodation and get coffee and use up bits we had there.
A couple of steps in we see this cafe with big sofas rammed full.
I was still unsure when DD had a go and ran ahead.
I should've said ok you go in there.we walked another street and the next thing we were in m and s.
They ordered drinks and sat down while I mooched at clothes.
I joined then ten mins later drank my small coffee and we left.
While I'm realising it is not about me as I can and often do go without like when they grabbed ice cream.
We went away on our holiday nr DD so we could see her.
DH makes little attempt with the grown up dcs and I pointed out we could lose contact in the future.
It wasn't a martyr thing to holiday near by it was planned.
DH loves the dcs and is probably closer to DD through hobbies.

Huh?