Strange interaction at work and no one else sees the issue?

[Teachnomore]

This happened today and I need to share. I manage a team of 12 and don’t work Friday’s. I came in today to an email from my senior/deputy about something which happened between two colleagues on Friday - without getting into details, there was an argument in front of the team and it was unprofessional.

I booked time in with each individual separately today to discuss what happened.

When I walked into the meeting room with one of the colleagues (male), he rushed up to the table, pretended to bend over and said let’s get this over with. Then stopped, pretended to take his belt off and laughed hysterically. I just told him to sit down and he said he thought what he suggested would be a quicker punishment, again laughing.

Now, am I being a bit of a killjoy here or is that really inappropriate? I told my manager what happened, who basically shrugged his shoulders and said that is just what that colleague is like. My DP found it hilarious when I told him and thinks I’ve had a sense of humour failure..

I just found it awkward and a bit rude given the circumstances.

I'm thankful your working days are over too. It's staggering that you can't see how inappropriate, juvenile and disrespectful this employee's behaviour was.

I wouldn’t be happy either. Sounds like he was nervous/trying to minimise it. Isn’t it exhausting managing people? I wish they would just crack on with their jobs & leave all this behaviour at home.

Completely inappropriate . I’d have left and reported to HR

How old is he? Specifically, is he old enough to have been at school when corporal punishment was still in use? Strange behaviour, in any case.

I know right, its baffling the lack of basic biology knowledge on here - he wasn't suggesting that OP fucks him from behind as he's bent over a table 🙄

I'm afraid, just like OneTealMentor, you've misunderstood what DramaLlamacchiato posted, which was "Harassment related to sex. Not acceptable." They meant "sex" as in the protected characteristic under the Equality Act 2010, as this employee treated OP differently because she's a woman - there's no way he'd have pulled that stunt if his manager had been male. DramaLlamacchiato did not mean they thought the idiot employee was inviting his female manager to have sex with him.

Document every single bit of this and be ready to refer to HR if ANYTHING like this happens again ! . Your manager is skating on thin ice if he/she hasn’t taken action on your report . Is it a small firm ? Is it possible you can insist on another manager with you for future interviews ?

So, man who behaves unprofessionally in the office on Friday, also behaves inappropriately on following Monday.

As a pp said he probably was feeling awkward and trying to take the edge off with humour. But it failed and was even more inappropriate than what he was there for.

I think others are overreacting. For one, it doesn't seem like sexual harassment- it sounds like it didn't come across in this way.? It's just sounds a bit odd and like an over confidant joke. Humans are odd and irrational a lot of the time I would ask whether it is a pattern or just a one off. If there is a pattern then maybe something to discuss with him. Is his work ok?

Agree.

Go to hr and complain. That's wild

I’d call him into another meeting and tell him that whilst he may have considered it a joke, his behaviour was highly inappropriate. Follow it up with an email.

I don’t agree with all of what the pp you quoted has said but many people on this thread have said it was sexual harassment or that it was sexualised behaviour so not sure why you are saying no one has said it.

The pp you are rolling your eyes at says they believe he would also have done it to a male manager. You and many others will no doubt insist he wouldn’t have but none of you actually know. For all we know, it’s a ‘joke’ he’s used before when he’s got in trouble that has worked for him by deflecting/lightening the moment and making a proper telling off impossible.

OP needs to go back and address it with him properly. Make it clear that his attempt at humour is outdated and inappropriate and not to be repeated. Repetition will result in more formal process. I’d document it myself but I wouldn’t go to HR at this stage unless it already formed part of a bigger picture (assuming the argument with the colleague was minor).

This.. gosh that is awful..totally inappropriate but really concerning regarding the culture of office Is this private sector?.

How exactly was this supposed to be funny is beyond me. Very unprofessional of him and tbh everyone at your workplace who just shrugs it off.

This is spot on.

I think we’re all thankful your

I think we’re all thankful your working days are over too.

This is a snide put down which is mean when OP has asked for help.

that doesnt sound like sexual harassment though

I'd document everything, including your manager minimising it, and escalate or take to HR.

Sorry you've got this to deal with, people ignore this sort of behaviour all the time and then eventually it starts to cause real problems.

Completely inappropriate. The sexualisation is a separate issue, IMO, from him being flippant about a disciplinary meeting. (Which is to say, there are two issues here, both worthy of concern.) I would be taking it further, OP.

It’s his passive aggressive way of letting you know he doesn’t respect you. I suspect he’s sexist.

Id go hard on him, let him know it’s unprofessional and not to do it again.

100% thus.

If this idiot thinks that’s appropriate behaviour in front of his manager, then how’s he behaving to women who are his equals or on lower levels? Jokingly threatening to spank them?

This. Talk to HR about it, get it on his record and consider how you can upskill as a manager.