What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

[khlolea]

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

I think he'd be surprised, because I'm not much of a drinker. He might ask if everything is ok, but I wouldn't expect a reaction beyond that.

Do you want a cigarette to go with it - joke.

Who made him the drink police? Major overreaction. He needs to relax. And I don't even drink

If I'd been at work he'd probably be more surprised if I hadn't!!

He’d prob wonder what had happened. I never drink but not because he doesn’t like it! What a weird response, why is he so angry about it?!

Well, I’ve been tee-total for a couple of years now so he’d be surprised and I think worried given the reasons I stopped, but before I did decide to stop drinking, he’d not have even commented. It’s such a non-issue but even if it wasn’t, his behaviour and treatment of you are appalling. He has absolutely no right to act that way.

He sounds likeman aggressive dickhead. Is he normally such a twat @khlolea ?? Dreadful behaviour from him!

No health reasons not too, trying to get pregnant? Or he has a fear of alcohol use in some way?

Neither of us drink that much. We grew up in very different households. one where alcohol is for high days and holidays, and the other with experience of alcoholism. Over time, him not joining me has meant I drunk less. I don't really care about this and am happy with my choices now.

However - there is a difference between not joining me and someone having a temper tantrum because you had a drink. That is weird and controlling UNLESS you have a drink problem.

Is it only one drink though, and is this really a rare occurrence?? If the answer to these is genuinely yes, is he always this irrational?

Mine would probably ask if I had left any for him.

This. I would add that generally speaking where I have seen one partner react like this to the other drinking what is apparently a non-controversial amount, it is because the partner who had the drink is struggling to control their drinking and the other one is getting to the end of their ability to cope with it.

It's very common for the partner with the problem to be in massive denial about the extent of it, minimise their own drinking, and paint the other one as a killjoy who can't relax and enjoy a nice drink with them.

No idea whether that's you or not, OP, obviously, I just don't know either way.

DH would say "enjoy! I might join you with a beer"

Mine would say “have you had a bad day lover?”, hopefully give me a hug, then pour me another glass

Mine would think something was very wrong since I don’t drink and the smell of alcohol on one’s breath, especially wine turns my stomach.

I struggle to kiss DH when he has had wine.

I get annoyed with DH but not to the point your DH has about you drinking and my parents rarely drink too. That level of aggression is pointless and usually unnecessary.

Hands down could not be married to someone like this. What a miserable arse.

He’d be surprised I think, and would probably make a joke after checking I was ok. I hardly ever drink at home. He’d probably also be secretly delighted as I suspect I’m a lot more fun and less uptight with a drink in me!

Honestly I do find myself getting a bit eye rolly and irritated when he is drinking on a random weeknight. Partly because it just feels really alien to me now, it wasn’t so much in my younger days but now I’m just baffled and think what’s the point? Also he seems ‘tipsy’ literally after the first half pint, so whilst he generally is only drinking a moderate amount it’s like being around someone who has had a fair bit more. Not nasty or unpleasant but just irritating when you’re sober. And like I say so alien to me now - I love a few drinks when we’re out, with a nice meal or socialising with friends and family, I just genuinely don’t get the attraction on a random Tuesday teatime when you’ve still got to do homework and bath and bedtime with the DC.

I’m massively oversensitive though and tellingly I never gave a shit before we had DC - it’s only since we had them that I suddenly don’t like it. And I grew up with an alcoholic parent so that’s clearly why it triggers me these days. So I do make a real effort to keep a lid on my annoyance and realise it’s my issue, not his!

If I’d had one, nothing at all.

If I’d done two bottles of wine and was shitfaced, he’d say something.

He wouldn’t react like your DH because he’s a fully functional adult.

Are you a recovered alcoholic or have you had drinking issues in the past? If yes then of course he’s entitled to be upset.

My husband would just go quiet. But that’s because I was once a mean drinker. He wouldn’t slam about or get angry but he wouldn’t approve.

He needs to get a grip

He's practically wiggle his eyebrows off his forehead, thinking he was in with a chance.

My partner things I’ve got a potential addiction problem and I drink about 2 units per week. I do tend to get addicted to things so I can see where’s she’s coming from. I find if v controlling tbh

He wouldn't be bothered, as long as it was only 1 as we have 3 young children at home - just incase there was an emergency and I had to drive and I was still able to care for the children. Once he's home he wouldn't mind if I had another but it is very very rare I drink and I'll be lucky if I can even finish 1.

He would say nothing because I am an adult - this kind of behaviour would really piss me off and I would tell him so…

(unless there is a back story and you drink 2 bottles a night or something!) If not then he is a controlling, nasty man!

He assume I'd had a rough day and be sympathetic.