What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

[khlolea]

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

Mine would say: "Oh go on then, pour me one."

Your DH's reaction is alarming. Who made him the booze police?

Erm that’s not normal OP. Mine would probably ask where his was!

Where's mine?

Or do you mean you are visibly a bit tipsy? And he's annoyed about that.

He’d probably be a bit raisey eyebrowed and concerned because he gets home for 3pm most days!

but if it was at a normal time in the early evening he’d probably just make a joke about me going to bed early because I’m a right lightweight and I usually end up asleep after one glass of wine.

My husband would have poured mine, them himself one. Yours was unreasonable unless there's a big back story.

“Gin o’clock time is it?”

and that would be it

Need more context- what time is it, is it a regular occurrence, are you in charge of young kids, how big was the glass of wine..?

He would either sit down beside me with a beer or make a cheeky comment like ‘Oh a Monday drink I see’ for a joke - only because I rarely have alcohol on a Monday! He would also be asking me what’s up, he absolutely would not behave the way your DH is behaving, what a child! In saying that, unless he is like this all the time… is he concerned with your drinking? That would be my only reason to think he is so angry! Also, how long have you been together… I’m really surprised you have never been in this situation before.

He knows hes your spouse not your dad right?

His reaction isnt normal. Why cant you have a drink?

Unless theres a back story where one of you is in recovery or "a glass of wine" is code for absolutely wrecked and behaving badly - where his mood could perhaps be understood?

Id expect DH to either say "pour me one will you?" Or "none for me on a school night thanks, ill make a cuppa"

You can have an opinion on alcohol, thats its for special occasions etc, but the difference here is hes turned into a petulant child and is now stomping round like a toddler, silent treatment the lot... sounds a bit toxic... a bit immature, no respect for you? Would he treat his boss the same if there was a work event, and ge saw his boss with a glass of wine? No... he wouldn't. So he thinks its ok to treat you like that why?

My DH would fetch a glass and pour himself one too then offer me a refill.

Depends on the time for us. What time did you get home? I think the key here is that he’d never drink on a work night and his parents obviously think drink is the devil’s work! I’m assuming you had this all in mind when you poured a drink. Was his reaction unexpected?

Irrelevant as your Dh is not your Dh, but he’d ask (as others) if I’d had a hard day and give me a hug.

"That's all right for some! Any left?". Something like that. Your husband sounds quite cold and controlling. You can make your own decisions! (Assuming you're not an alcoholic)

That’s really odd and concerning behaviour op. I’d pour myself another and tell him to fuck off to thr spare room till he could behave like a reasonable human being, amd remind him I’m an adult who does as she pleases. And I can assure you he’d be in no doubt, his behaviour would not be tolerated a second time. And no my husband doesn’t bat an eyelid, nor do I if he has one. As we are grown ups and normal reasonable people.

This is what I came here to say
You are an adult who can drink wine if you want to
Your DH stomping around being an arse because he disapproves is the problem here

Ah! Malbec is it. Have we run out of Merlot?
For Context: Now we don't need to drive anywhere in the evening we have wine every day.

That's not a normal reaction at all. A normal reaction would be 'Bad/long day?'

Don't let him control you. Have another one tomorrow and tell him to sort himself out.

My husband would look, smile, and say tough day babe whilst grabbing a can of larger.. then we would talk about our day..

Definitely an unusual reaction from your DH.

If normal drinking wasn't modelled at home for him growing up, but he heard tell of people drinking alone developing alcoholism, he's probably got a bit of a skewed perspective.

My husband would pour me another. It wouldn’t batter an eyelid. I often have a glass while cooking

The right response is nothing.

speaking to you like a disgrace and slamming doors is the wrong response.

Why is he so angry?

Oh good are we having wine, or you're a bad influence
He would likely join me anyway

He wouldn’t care, and would probably say I love this! You’re not drinking alone, pour me one!

Exactly what my DH would say/do! 😂

Oh ffs @khlolea sit that man down and tell him that he can do what he does and that’s fine.

you had a glass of wine after work and that is completely normal and you’re not going to put up with this behaviour from him.

it’s ridiculous

is he controlling in any other area of your life?