FIL letting DS have a couple of sips of beer

[GotaQuest]

If IABU then fair enough but just wanted to get other people’s opinions.

Yesterday DH took DC to see his parents. When they got back 8yo DS told me that FIL let him have 2 sips of his bottled larger. This also happened a few months ago too and I told DH that I thought it was weird

DH thinks I’m being over the top and maybe I am but it doesn’t really sit right with me.

Would you be bothered about this?

The father is married to his wife not his dad, and should respect her wishes and or discuss it with his wife.

I drank some of my grandad's beer age about 1-2, as I was sat on his knee at the time. Apparently I lunged for more!

I am very much not an alcoholic (2-6 drinks a week?) but I did binge in my teens and at university. It's a toughie - don't allow anything and you risk it becoming forbidden fruit. On the whole, I wouldn't be bothered.

I think it’s a bit weird tbh at 8 years old . But at the end of the day you are his parent and it’s up to you . We have such a strange relationship and view on alcohol in this country, my Mum was an alcoholic growing up but in a very ‘middle class’ wine drinking way and no one really saw if has a problem when it clearly was . It’s so normalised in this country to get totally out of it. But that aside this situation alone I wouldn’t be too worried . And there is some merit in what people say about it having the ‘big deal’ taken out of it . But if it was a regular thing then I wouldn’t like it . I guess what I’m saying is try not to panic but keep an eye . Think it does people good to remember that alcohol is a drug, it’s dangerous and can be harmful . It’s really tough that you and your husband don’t agree.

Meh. I had sip of beer a few times at age 5-6. And watered down wine from age 5-11. I never really been a drink. Can go couple years without drink then have few glasses of wine then not drink months on end again. Never drink beer just gross imo.

While my parents always had wine with dinner or beer. Think doesn't really harm him and doesn't say much about what will come of it.

I disagree with most posters here, I think it is totally unacceptable. Your FIL is normalising alcohol consumption at a very young age. Allowing you DC to drink under the legal age is your decision ( and your husband’s) to make and no one else’s. Ensure you DH is on the same page as you. I would also be worried that when your DC is a bit older (say 10-13) he tells people he is allowed to drink. Stern words with your FIL.

I can understand your fears...a little sip at that age and he could easily become French. A slippery slope!

This. Id be furious

Tutored in France for a while. The 7 year old would sometimes ask for a splash of red wine in his water with dinner to 'humanize' it. I think the drinking culture in the UK is terrible but I would not be bothered by this.

Obviously it is up to parents when their children can drink alcohol but the more you say no to something the more exciting it is to children/teens.
If you introduce alcohol it removes the excitement so kids don't get stupidly drunk at the first opportunity.
I think my DDs were about 10 or 11 when they first tried a little alcohol. DD2 doesn't drink at all DD1 only rarely and they are 19 and 17 now.

I was always allowed sips of my dad’s baileys growing up.
I rarely drink now, so it certainly didn’t turn me into a raving alcoholic or anything.

Think my son was 5 when he asked my mum what lager tasted like and had a sip. He spat it straight back into the pint glass and everyone laughed. It was the first drink she'd had in years.

Growing up there was never any alcohol in my house and by 12 I was getting drunk in parks.

My son is 14, sees me have a drink maybe twice a year now and has tasted various family members drinks and has never snuck or drunk alcohol as he's just not bothered by it cos its not something we've made out is 'bad' for him

Also have an alcoholic family member whose children now adults will not touch alcohol at all

I think if you're going to be a drinker you just will regardless of how many 'sips' you're given as a kid

My gran used to make me and my friends martinis at Halloween lol!! It’s a generational thing I think to be honest. Don’t get me wrong my parents were very much have a alcopop in the house when I was 16/17 or at a trusted friends house. My DD recently took the smallest sip of my cocktail can recently and she hated it. She hates the smell of alcohol in general and finds drunk people annoying. I’m sure that will change in a few years x

I think if you're going to be a drinker you just will regardless of how many 'sips' you're given as a kid

Exactly. You're going to have a bloody hard time keeping your kids away from alcohol until they're 16 like some have suggested, so the idea that stopping them having a few sips at 8 is going to prevent them becoming an alcoholic later on seems pretty fanciful. If anything I subscribe to the 'forbidden fruit' idea that overtly steering kids away from something that they see others enjoying tends to increases their interest in it. That's probably based on my sister's kids who are barely ever allowed sweets, but when they do get the opportunity Christ they stuff them in like their lives depend on it.

So all in all I wouldn't give two hoots about it OP.

My grandfather did this. I don’t even drink now but I have fond memories of sharing those moments with him. It certainly didn’t affect my attitude to or fondness for alcohol.

🤣🤣🤣

I used to get a little glass of very watered down wine with dinner when I went to my grandparents as a kid! I’m actually largely teetotal now, just because I’m not really that bothered about drinking. I did the usual teenage drinking, but not till my late teens when I moved away from home, and nothing out of the ordinary.