FIL letting DS have a couple of sips of beer

[GotaQuest]

If IABU then fair enough but just wanted to get other people’s opinions.

Yesterday DH took DC to see his parents. When they got back 8yo DS told me that FIL let him have 2 sips of his bottled larger. This also happened a few months ago too and I told DH that I thought it was weird

DH thinks I’m being over the top and maybe I am but it doesn’t really sit right with me.

Would you be bothered about this?

I’d be annoyed by this, more on principle than anything. I wouldn’t necessarily worry my child would be harmed by the beer, I’d more just be irritated that FIL felt this was acceptable without mentioning it to me or my partner…just the idea that he thinks he is okay to do this would irritate the life out of me.

You could see it as taking the 'no big deal' out of drinking. Might stop his going overboard in his teens.

If OP was living in Europe it would be normal! It’s demonising alcohol that causes problems! My son often had a sip on my wine and guess what he’s not turned into a rampaging alcoholic.

Grew up having sips of beer in the beer garden with my parents and a tiny glass of wine or sherry with Christmas dinner and I can't stand getting drunk.

I grew up being allowed to try different alcoholic drinks and we used to be given something like Pimm’s with lots of lemonade in summer. I grew up not being bothered about alcohol at all and rarely drink now.
However, I think that’s the parent’s decision to make and not the grandparents.

Alcopops 🤣 they don’t bother with them anymore, it’s not 1998

Buzzballs haven’t entered your world then !!!

I remember as a young child having a sip/taste of various aunts/uncles/grandparents alcoholic drinks - usually beer, sherry, wine or whiskey. All vile to a young palate and enough to put me off it at that age and for many years to come!

Personally not something I would get upset about, but I'd be less keen if they were letting them taste alcopops or something more palatable.

As long as you and your dh are the role models they look to, a very occasional sip of beer is not going to be a problem.

But if you have a problem with it first thing you need to do is speak to your dh about your concerns, you need to listen to his point of view, and the pair of you calmly come up with an compromise that is acceptable and you will both follow through on.

It wouldn't bother me as I think it tends to lead to having a healthy attitude towards alcohol, rather than as a guilty treat.

I had this as a child and now hardly ever drink, even on holiday.

I'd lax about this but if I asked him to stop, which I would, and he didn't, that would be different. Ask him not to do that again. I get giving a kid a sip but someone else's kid? I'd never.

That’s a cocktail in a can not an alco pop

I posted three links but it looks like they've gone.

And the difference is…..

anyway yes alcopops are experiencing a resurgence and buzzballs are considered to be a huge part of them! They are stronger though which is the issue!

Erm, you’ve just pointed out the difference. And it’s a big one.

Alcopops tasted of pop but contained 4% alcohol.

Cocktails (in a can or otherwise) taste of alcoholic drinks and contain 15% and above alcohol.

Completely different drinks and valid to point out that the kids these days don’t bother with alcopops but are straight into the strong stuff instead.

Alcopops are not “experiencing a resurgence” and Buzzballs are not part of this imaginary resurgence since the main characteristic of alcopops is they are low alcohol fruity drinks

But normalising alcohol is the best way to prevent young adults going off the rails with alcohol later on. Sips at granddad's, a small glass from age 10 with Sunday lunch or a glass of bubbles at Christmas. This is how most middle class families do it in the UK and all over Europe. If you make it into a BIG THING then it becomes a big thing...

My late dad was an alcoholic. Imo anything you do that takes away the perceived glamour and excitement of alcohol and drinking to get drunk can only be a good thing. Early introduction to watered down wine and/or beer is ok in a controlled environment and hopefully teaches your child that alcohol really isn't anything that special. If you constantly demonise it alcohol will become this big must have thing and they will do anything to get hold of it behind your back as a teen. I've always allowed mine to have small tasters of wine from around age 12 and now they've both said they don't like alcohol and don't want to drink it.

No it isn’t. This has been discredited

How so?

I think you’re right I would be angry too. A child shouldn’t even be allowed to have a “sip” or to try alcohol, for what purpose? It isn’t a treat, he is 8. Seeing that type of behaviour isn’t ok, and what’s not ok even more so, is your FIL doing this without you knowing or your permission, id personally feel like a lot of boundaries had been crossed, and as his mother the way you wish to raise YOUR child is up to you, no one else, that’s not dramatic, that’s reasonable. Stand your ground don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking you’re being dramatic about your personal choices.

I used to be allowed small glasses of alcohol from a young age. My family are quite big drinkers. Well I've found these days I hardly drink at all, about once year at Christmas and I never get drunk. When I was younger and would go out with friends, the most I'd have was two gins. So being able to drink from a young never did me any harm. I actually think it meant that alcohol was never a big deal for me, unlike loads of my friends who weren't allowed to drink who now binge drink.

Grandparents have done this for generations just to piss off parents. It's fine

Wouldn’t bother me, I grew up in a big Italian family and kids were allowed a dribble of wine with lemonade, with Sunday lunch . When alcohol becomes taboo, it becomes something they binge on, demystifying is fine.

struggling to beleive someone ip thread said they’d be really angry and compared it to cigarettes, I’m actually shocked by it, the answer there is no that wouldn’t be ok, nor would injecting him with heroin or letting him watch porn. Two sips of beer, is however fine.

Well no, it is dramatic and it’s not just up to her, she has a husband, the child a father who gets equal say.

My dad used to let me have the head of his Guinness 😁
I’m not even a drinker, so clearly it didn’t send me spiralling.

I used to feel like the bees knees when my dad let me have some of his beer. Even better when I was a little older and had my own teeny tiny glass of wine. It made it so drinking wasn’t a crazy thing I wasn’t allowed to do until I turned 18 and normalised it being available. A much better way round.