FIL letting DS have a couple of sips of beer

[GotaQuest]

If IABU then fair enough but just wanted to get other people’s opinions.

Yesterday DH took DC to see his parents. When they got back 8yo DS told me that FIL let him have 2 sips of his bottled larger. This also happened a few months ago too and I told DH that I thought it was weird

DH thinks I’m being over the top and maybe I am but it doesn’t really sit right with me.

Would you be bothered about this?

Mine had tiny sips as children. They grew up with a sensible attitude to alcohol and haven't binge drunk or been involved other alcohol related incidents.

No... you check your information..... even small sips can affect a child. I don't peddle misinformation!!! And my post wasn't aggressive.... no need for yours to be. You can disagree without being disagreeable !!!!!

Same. My DF used to give us little sips occasionally - none of us turned into anything like alcoholics! I do remember liking what he called ‘Sticky Green’ (Crème de Menthe) but as for the rest of it, no thanks!

Um, I think your so all those who think it's ok, you just carry on!!! etc was pretty aggressive.

But mostly, I think your post was ridiculous. and my post wasn't aggressive, it was incredulous.

Your asserts are just blatantly untrue that these are real risks for children having just tiny sips of alcohol.

Give me some stats on how many children are harmed every year from 2 small sips of beer. I'll wait.

The bottom line is children process the alcohol differently and it binds with their cells in a way that has been suggested will make them alcohol dependent as they get older.

I believe it. My parents used to drop a shot of whiskey into a hot milk to knock me out when I was under 10 and they wanted me to go to sleep - and it definitely had a long term affect on me.

I do this so not a big deal as far as I'm concerned, kids are curious but the never like it.

But he absolutely shouldn't do it if you've asked him not to.

Ummm and also OBVIOUSLY a whole shot of whiskey regularly to encourage sleep is bad and a whole different thing.

@OP While a 'one off' few sips of beer with granddad isn't going to harm them, and while many times people say allowing children small sips might demystify alcohol and reduce its allure, scientific evidence does not actually support this. In fact, studies suggest the opposite, that early exposure may normalize drinking behavior and increase long term risk. Introduction to alcohol in childhood is significantly associated with a higher risk of alcohol related problems in later life.

What Parents and Carers can do: (Chief Medical Officer's guidance)
"Parents and carers should ensure that their children maintain an alcohol-free childhood for as long as possible and at the very least up to and including the age of 14 years."
( Guidance on the consumption of Alcohol by children and young people, Page Xiii)

From the British Medical Journal:
Age of first drinking and adult alcohol problems: systematic review of prospective cohort studies | Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health
Conclusion: Early drinking coupled with underlying vulnerabilities e.g., mental health, peer influence shows evidence for increased risk of adult alcohol problems. So while it may not have much impact all things being perfect right now, it does lay the ground for later in life IF @OP's ds has any of thses issues.

Focuses on hospital admission & mortality but includes data on under 18 alcohol specific admissions and reveals a trend in early alcohol related harm. The implication is that early drinking correlates with increased long term causality.
Alcohol profile: short statistical commentary, February 2025 - GOV.UK

Better safe than sorry @OP, I'd stamp that down immediately.

My Dad took me down the pub at a week old and gave me a little bit of beer. I was often allowed a shandy of some sort as a child with a meal. Never an excessive amount and not a weekly thing either.

But I never went out drinking as a teen or snuck alcohol from anywhere and as an adult I rarely drink and have only ever been drunk once in my life (I’m in my 40s) so I don’t think it did me any harm at all.

No

My husband sells beer and actually makes beer now. My son has been taught to enjoy it for the taste and not for its alcohol percentage. We have let him taste it and now he's 16 he can have a bottle with his meal. He rarely drinks but appreciates it for the taste.
We had to be sensible about this due to my husbands job.

oh behave. this isn't the same and you know it.

I think the fact it’s happened without asking your permission is a bit off. I wouldn’t be worried about my 8yo trying a couple of sips but on my terms.

You by not adding loads of !!!!! ?

I wouldn't be impressed with this either. I once witnessed a toddler nephew being encouraged to dip his fingers/lick in everyone's whisky glass after Xmas dinner (30 years ago). Oh how they all laughed..

Not my kid but I told DH if his family ever try that with our kids they'll never be over the threshold again.

But normalising drinking in a healthy and responsible way is a good thing, no?

If you ban alcohol and make it taboo, your child will be curious about it and more likely to rebel as a teen by drinking alcohol to excess.

If you model sensible drinking e.g. one bottle of lager on an afternoon in the garden and let a child take a sip, this demystifies drinking and the child sees it as just another boring thing adults do (show me an 8 year old who liked the taste of lager and I’ll eat my hat!)

You sound lovely..

My father was in the licensing trade when I was child and I was pretty much weaned on Guiness!! I've survived and so will he. Chill out OP, it was a couple of sips of beer.

Meh, I was trying sips of my mum’s wine at a similar age - it’s fine.

I remember having a sip of beer several times in my early childhood, the one thing that sticks in my mind is that it tasted horrible and never got any better so it certainly didn't encourage me to drink!

I remember the first time I got drunk.
Christmas carol concert and the choir (of which I was a member) were invited back to the vicarage (huge, rambling stone place straight out of an Agatha Christie novel). Wine was served and being kids (fourteen I think) some of us snaffled a bottle (or two) and proceeded to get v.drunk (and afterwards, v.sick).
Needless to say I had nothing to do with alcohol for a few years after that!

I didn't vote as although I would be annoyed I don't really believe any harm is done. My brother had lots of sips of beer as a toddler and has turned out pretty well!

Wouldn't bother me

There’s a difference though - the cigarette would be illegal, whereas anyone over the age of 5 can drink alcohol in private! So you can’t say it’s like giving him a cigarette to drag on because it isn’t comparable.

At age 8 I loved a babycham!

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

I wouldn’t be happy with that at 8 either. There’s just no need. No one has got a crystal ball to see into the future about whether they turn out as beer monsters or tee total.

The UK has got a fucked up attitude to alcohol. It’s normalised way beyond what is healthy… it’s a known fact that alcohol can cause all manner of health issues.

So no, I wouldn’t want alcohol being normalised or glamourised around my 8 year old.

Legally over 5, DS is allowed beer in the home. And personally I think couple of sips, especially when young kids dont really like beer flavour, is good exposure. Makes it less exciting at 15, 16 and 17

So I wouldnt care

However youre his parent and if you dont want him sipping beer I think youre totally reasonable to say to DH please ask ILs to never do that again. And if thats what you've both agreed and told ILs they should adhere to that