Hairdresser cut my hair too short

[SaraYork]

Last Friday I had a hairdressers appointment. I had long curly hair. When you pulled down the hair it just came above my bum. I told her that I wanted to keep my hair long and that only the necessary bit needed to be taken off. Which was the ends which looked very thin, dry, with split ends. She showed me how much was needed to taken off which was around 3 inches, which I agreed to.

I told her that I last went to the hairdresser's over 1 year ago. She told me that as I wanted to keep it long, I should come back every 3 months, so that they only have to cut off around 1 inch and my hair will look beautiful when it is long.
I also told her that I felt that I feel that my hair is growing more slowly while getting older.
She washed and conditioned my hair. She said that I had lovely curls and should use the scrunch technique with products.

When I got to my chair again for the cut. She showed me what she was going to cut. I said yes that is fine, which was around 3 inches. My hair was flipped to the front over my shoulders and hang over my chest. When my hair was pulled down, it cae to my belly button. But as it is curly it looks shorter, so on my chest.

Before she started cutting I took of my glasses. After some time when I had to look down I noticed that my hair looked short. I grabbed my glasses and put them on to have a look in the mirror. I turned my back sideways towards the mirror. Then I saw that she cut my hair way to short. I told her that and I started crying. She said that is what I told her. Never in my life I would have told her that as I always have had long hair.

It comes now just short over my shoulders. And that is with straightening it as she needed to straighten it as she could see then if everything was cut correctly at the same level. As I was so upset and crying she told me that I don't have to pay the additional charge of 5 pounds which they charge for people who have long hair. After she was done butchering my hair, I left crying the premises. I called my husband who told me to come home. He also said that it is something I would not go for and never that short. He knows me over 15 years.

Since Friday I feel sick to my stomach. I am unable to eat, cry, barely can sleep. I told my husband and mother in law that I have not felt this bad as when my father passed away, 3 years ago. My mother in law told me that it sounds like that I am grieving. And it feels like that. I took great pride in my hair. I have been feeling low lately and I saw going to the hairdresser's as something that I needed and would do me well. As normally I feel great and fabulous after having my hair done.

I have not been able to look at myself in the mirror. I am too afraid too touch my hair as it really makes me feel sad. My husband is abroad now and back on Wednesday. I just feel that I will break down, when I look at it in the mirror again. I also don't dare to brush it as I will feel how short it is.

I am not sure what I want from this post. I just feel so down and don't know what to do. This morning I woke up with lots of back pain which I think is caused by the stress of it all.

My mother in law told me that I have to go back to the hairdresser's and talk to the manager what happened. Not that I will get my hair back, but that they need to know and not happy with their service. In the end it is my word against the girl who cut my hair. I am not even sure at this point if she was fully qualified as what she did to my hair. I have no idea what she was even thinking and was going on in her head. Why, to say to me to come back every 3 months to cut off around 1 inch, and cut all my hair off!?

What do I need to do? Am I AIBU for feeling this way?

Thank you.

I have curly hair. It should never be straightened to cut it!
Also 3 inches straight is basically 9 inches dry as curly hair bounces up so much.
She (the hairdresser) clearly has no idea about how to cut curly hair.
Don't ever go back there and find someone that does understand curls. Best way is to ask on a local FB group for curly hair recommendations and then stalk their socials for pictures of curly hair cuts.
I'm a fellow curly and have had so many horrific hair cuts as the hairdresser didn't get my hair.

Your comment that you feel as bad as when your father passed away is insulting and shallow. Most people would give an arm or any other body part to get a loved one back again. You are just talking about hair.

Oh, @SaraYork - this is about more than just your hair (upsetting though that is).,You've recognised you're out of sorts and depressed - irrespective of the disastrous haircut, follow your initial instinct and get your GP appointment

Why do so many hairdressers cut more off than people ask for? Is it because they can’t cut straight and so have to keep taking more off until it’s straight (like my mum used to do with my fringe in the 90s as it had a kink in it and she could never get it straight)?

I can't help being shocked you were crying in the salon with disappointment and they charged you?!
Did she not ask you why you were crying?

How could she have showed the amount she was going to cut then cut so much more? That's awful.

And the five quid discount is absolutely laughable.

But as others say comparing it to a bereavement is extremely OTT and surely cannot be accurate. Unless you are suffering from very serious psychiatric problems. It will grow back.

Definitely complain and try and get a refund though.

Because she took her glasses off

@SaraYork I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP - you were already feeling down and this has made you feel even worse. Most women understand that you feel rubbish if you're having a bad hair day (I do!) and now you can't see a day anytime soon when you will feel like you're having a good hair day, so it's natural to feel very upset about it. I was going to suggest you post "before" and "after" photo's of your hair, but I would understand if you don't feel like doing this (it's just that the MN collective may think it looks great and reassure you that you don't need to feel so upset).
It seems extraordinary that the hairdresser showed you that about 3" needed to be cut off and then took closer to 12"! If you want to go back to the salon to complain and get your money back, I would suggest you take a recent photo of your hair before it was cut to show the manager how her staff member has clearly cut off significantly more than the agreed 3".
I would advise you not to have extensions (my hairdresser tells me they absolutely do damage your own hair at the point they're attached) and hair straighteners are also damaging. However, if having your hair looking long is more important to you than having it look curly (for now anyway) you could have the Keratin straightening treatment done (at a different salon!) which lasts around three months and keeps it straight just with blow-drying, and this will make it look longer and cause the least damage whilst you grow it again.
I also think you should make that appointment with your GP. Any help they can give you for your low mood will also help your perspective about your hair and how you feel about yourself generally. I know this is little comfort right now OP, but it will grow back. 🤗

Curly hair here also, never straighten it to cut it and I only ever go to a curly hair stylist. She also has curly hair so knows personally about curl recoil etc.

that being said, I’ve had super long curly hair and I know how hard it is to get it that long and keep it healthy. I now keep mine much shorter as I Cba with upkeep. Your hair will grow back, and will be in better condition. It isn’t a life sentence. It will be important to work on strengthening your sense of self aside from appearance.

also, I wouldn’t go for extensions or a wig, just nurture your hair and let it grow back!

No, At best it was an error.
At worst she just did what she wanted and fuck what OP asked for. There are lots of hairdressers who feel entitled to cut as much off as they want even when the client is very specific about what they're going in for, and who wouldn't have given permission for what the hairdresser did. That is not ok.

@Enigma54 I'm glad you posted, because I was thinking the same thing. Sorry about the cancer and your hair, though. I understand OP got a shock but honestly anyone thinking it is traumatic must be so damn lucky to have never experienced real life, limb or sanity threatening trauma, if short hair that will grow counts as trauma to them. Imagine sitting there losing hair after chemo and not knowing if you're actually going to survive or not, @SaraYork .
I actually can't believe the strength of feeling being expressed by OP and others about something so completely reversible.
I should write something kind and supportive to @SaraYork because presumably this isn't really about the hair, but merely an expression of some internal struggles for her right now, but I can't. Just, get a grip.

Hmphf, don’t know why you are surprised 5’5”. I was born in ‘71, I use MPH rather than KM, I use both F and C* but find myself converting from C to F when cold water swimming. I use g when cooking but fluid oz when doing fluids, I use inches when measuring but can convert cms & M to ft & yards easily enough, I find my first “language” is in imperial and then metric. At primary I was taught imperial, at secondary I was taught both imperial and metric. I still think of weight as stones, and spent my kids early days converting kg into lbs. In short I use both but when talking to a hairdresser I would say inches rather than cms. Thinking about it both my teens can use either imperial and metric, I know they use metric at school, but I guess having ‘older’ parents who still use imperial first, they have picked it up. They know how to convert measurements quickly. BTW the first cook book my mum gave me had both imperial and metric with imperial listed first) and mum taught me imperial weights for cooking (although that might have been because her scales had weights which were only in ounces😆). Its why I can still make a wicked sponge cake!!
I think most of us in our 50s can use either system pretty interchangeably, useful when ordering something off Amazon which seems to use cms or inches when it comes to furniture or soft furnishings, or DIY bits and bobs. Nails and screws still tend to be in inches (or at least they are in my local hardware shop). I remember our local butcher and green grocer refused to use metric in the 80s, and the hooha it caused when the local shop keepers where told it was mandatory to change, they quietly did a two finger salute to the gov, and carried on the ‘quintessentially village’ way of life…

I think it’s odd that the salon charges a fiver extra for long hair. Doesn’t sound like a quality place so I guess you get what you pay for. I wouldn’t bother with wigs and extensions, it doesn’t sound so short that you need all that, just shorter than you’d like but it’ll grow out and you’ll feel better the less you dwell on it. It’s a shock and she did the wrong thing but it’s not that big of a deal to go to pieces over.

Kindly, you are over emotional. How can it possibly be the same as losing a parent? Did you not like your father?

It’s a bit more than “a bad haircut”. It will take years to grow back.
I saw online a hairdresser had a grudge against a client, was jealous of her and wrecked her hair on purpose. To me that looks a bit like an assault.

Yes, I agree. But you'll have to change your user name to 165.1cm.

I totally agree with everything in your post and I'm in my 60s! 😊

Aw OP. We have all had bad haircuts .
After years of cutting my own hair, I had the idea that the hairdresser would do a better job.
I had hair just below shoulders and wanted a long bob.
She cut me a shortish bob and curled it round my face .. this makes me look chubby as I have a round face.. I cried when I got home it looked too short.
But 2 weeks later it grew in , short hair is easier in many ways. I don’t go to the hairdresser now but I won’t have long hair again.
Come on OP. You will be ok. It’s just hair.
You’ll get used to it. No one has died, I appreciate you are upset but it really isn’t a huge deal (meant kindly)
It doesn’t define you. It’ll be back soon 😊

It's just hair.

My nephew is currently in hospital having stage 4 cancer treatment for a brain tumor.

Get a grip.

Hairdressers are notorious for this sort of shoddy measuring & a "funny" video was going around on YouTube (?) of hairdressers trying to correctly guess lengths on a tape measure & being generally off. So you have my sympathy as theirs nothing you can really do but leave a bad review & not return there.

OP it is hair, it will grow, I am sorry but comparing this to losing a loved one? We have all experienced hair being cut too short or hairstyles we are not happy with but it is not the end of the world.
This is a temporary situation and you are more than your hair, it does not define you.

I would be furious. I had hair down my
back and once asked for a trim and all one length. She put god awful step layers in and completely ruined it.

Defo ask for your money back. If they refuse put it all over their review pages on social media. Don’t worry op, I’ve had many a hair disaster. Had to get it cut into a bob 2 years ago as I fried it with bleach. It’s now down to my belly button. Try mane and tail shampoo. It’s for horses but it made my hair grow really quick!

No. They deliberately did this - it's a horrible thing to do, and they didn't even apologise. I think calling the hairdresser a bitch is pretty mild tbh

A grown adult crying and 'grieving' over a bit of hair that will grow back. Ridiculous reaction. I sincerely hope nothing actually bad ever happens to you.

If it was that important to you, you should have been paying more attention.

What on earth are you talking about.

We have all been there and it is shit!

If your thyroid is fine take kelp tablets they will make it grow like crazy. Plantur 21 is also great. I. 3/4 months it will be longer.

I am brunette and bleached my hair ages ago. When I went back to dark I told the hairdresser to do what she wanted, with my blessing she cut it short, longer at the front. I hated it, I am a long hair person. But everyone else loved it. I tonged the front and it was like a 40s bob. You can play around with it while it is this short. It wont be short for long xXx