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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hairdresser cut my hair too short

250 replies

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 20:21

Last Friday I had a hairdressers appointment. I had long curly hair. When you pulled down the hair it just came above my bum. I told her that I wanted to keep my hair long and that only the necessary bit needed to be taken off. Which was the ends which looked very thin, dry, with split ends. She showed me how much was needed to taken off which was around 3 inches, which I agreed to.

I told her that I last went to the hairdresser's over 1 year ago. She told me that as I wanted to keep it long, I should come back every 3 months, so that they only have to cut off around 1 inch and my hair will look beautiful when it is long.
I also told her that I felt that I feel that my hair is growing more slowly while getting older.
She washed and conditioned my hair. She said that I had lovely curls and should use the scrunch technique with products.

When I got to my chair again for the cut. She showed me what she was going to cut. I said yes that is fine, which was around 3 inches. My hair was flipped to the front over my shoulders and hang over my chest. When my hair was pulled down, it cae to my belly button. But as it is curly it looks shorter, so on my chest.

Before she started cutting I took of my glasses. After some time when I had to look down I noticed that my hair looked short. I grabbed my glasses and put them on to have a look in the mirror. I turned my back sideways towards the mirror. Then I saw that she cut my hair way to short. I told her that and I started crying. She said that is what I told her. Never in my life I would have told her that as I always have had long hair.

It comes now just short over my shoulders. And that is with straightening it as she needed to straighten it as she could see then if everything was cut correctly at the same level. As I was so upset and crying she told me that I don't have to pay the additional charge of 5 pounds which they charge for people who have long hair. After she was done butchering my hair, I left crying the premises. I called my husband who told me to come home. He also said that it is something I would not go for and never that short. He knows me over 15 years.

Since Friday I feel sick to my stomach. I am unable to eat, cry, barely can sleep. I told my husband and mother in law that I have not felt this bad as when my father passed away, 3 years ago. My mother in law told me that it sounds like that I am grieving. And it feels like that. I took great pride in my hair. I have been feeling low lately and I saw going to the hairdresser's as something that I needed and would do me well. As normally I feel great and fabulous after having my hair done.

I have not been able to look at myself in the mirror. I am too afraid too touch my hair as it really makes me feel sad. My husband is abroad now and back on Wednesday. I just feel that I will break down, when I look at it in the mirror again. I also don't dare to brush it as I will feel how short it is.

I am not sure what I want from this post. I just feel so down and don't know what to do. This morning I woke up with lots of back pain which I think is caused by the stress of it all.

My mother in law told me that I have to go back to the hairdresser's and talk to the manager what happened. Not that I will get my hair back, but that they need to know and not happy with their service. In the end it is my word against the girl who cut my hair. I am not even sure at this point if she was fully qualified as what she did to my hair. I have no idea what she was even thinking and was going on in her head. Why, to say to me to come back every 3 months to cut off around 1 inch, and cut all my hair off!?

What do I need to do? Am I AIBU for feeling this way?

Thank you.

OP posts:
BeltaLodaLife · 07/09/2025 21:05

What conversation did you have when you saw what she had done? How on earth did she change from 3 inches to what sounds like 10 inches, plus the conversation about long curly hair.. it’s going to be just under your chin when curled. What possible excuse could she give for thinking she was right?

I know you can’t get your hair back but I would be complaining, and leaving reviews and speaking to the owner about sorting extensions (if that’s what you want).

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/09/2025 21:06

Your reaction is disproportionate.

Hair grows. It'll be fine.

I have the opposite problem - I always ask her to cut it short and it's never short enough.

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 21:07

KaitlynnFairchild · 07/09/2025 20:49

A hairdressers inch is always bigger than a normal inch. It sounds like she has cut off far more than agreed though.

When I have extensions and take them out I always feel like worsley gummage with short thin hair. Now in reality I have hair to my bra and thicker than most but the change makes it feels so extreme.

Are you sure it’s as bad as you think? You are comparing your bum length straightened hair to your freshly curled cut hair too which makes it even more extreme.

Big hugs it sounds like a big disappointment.

@KaitlynnFairchild Yes, it is. As my husband agreed to it. I hoped he was going to say it was not that short...I came with curly hair, but she straightened my hair there so she could cut it even. I have not touched it since. So I know that after a wash it will be even shorter.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/09/2025 21:08

So I know that after a wash it will be even shorter.

No it won't. It'll be the same length.

KimHwn · 07/09/2025 21:09

I don't see how someone can cut so much more off someone's hair without noticing it. Did she mean three inches of it when it was curled, and you took it to mean three inches straightened? Because that would make more sense.
As someone with long curly hair, I think we can attach far too much importance to our hair, because it's often the first thing people notice about us. But, kindly, you really need to get some perspective here. It's fine.

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 21:11

TalulahJP · 07/09/2025 20:50

How could she mistakenly lopped off a whole foot. That’s horrific.

However it will grow.

You need to find a way of coping.

At the moment youre acting like youve just had some horrific news like someone’s died. If you’re generally stressed or unhappy could you be depressed? Go to the gp. Your reaction is OTT. You don’t need a wig. You just need to try and make the most of it while it grows.

@TalulahJP I have been feeling down and not myself lately. Last week I was thinking giving the GP a ring, but did not have a chance to. I was hoping to feel a bit better by doing my hair. Which even made it worse.

OP posts:
Remingtonsteele · 07/09/2025 21:11

It’ll grow.

im sorry you’re upset though.

tripleginandtonic · 07/09/2025 21:12

Bloody hell OP, here's a large grip for your hair. It will grow again.

jbm16 · 07/09/2025 21:12

I would complain if not want you requested, but sorry think your reaction is a bit OTT, it will grow back.

BeltaLodaLife · 07/09/2025 21:14

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/09/2025 21:08

So I know that after a wash it will be even shorter.

No it won't. It'll be the same length.

No, it will look shorter. Do you not know how curly hair works?

It’s straight right now and sitting below her shoulders. When she washes it and it goes back to its natural curls, it’s going to be sitting just under her chin. It’s going to look so much shorter.

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 21:14

TheGreatWesternShrew · 07/09/2025 20:55

There are two issues here - firstly, it sounds like she completely misunderstood what you wanted? Otherwise I don’t see why she would cut more. It does her no favours. However if you were that unhappy I would have expected her not to charge tbh.

Secondly - your emotional reaction is not normal and I’d question if it’s not about the hair but maybe something else? Lack of control in your life or feeling violated? Because it’s just hair… it is not the same as a person dying and other people will barely notice your hair. We would all be upset for a day or two but to avoid mirrors and be sobbing for days to this extent is unhealthy.

So you should go back and tell them why you’re unhappy. Maybe get your money back. But then you need to move on… it is only hair and it will grow back.

@TheGreatWesternShrew Yes, it definitely feels like a lack of control. I finally had a chance to do something for myself as I never have the chance to do so. And now I did something for myself, it feels like I am being punished to dedicate some time for myself.

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 07/09/2025 21:14

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/09/2025 21:08

So I know that after a wash it will be even shorter.

No it won't. It'll be the same length.

Yes it will be shorter …curly hair springs up …wow, maybe don’t comment about something you don’t understand?

Mauro711 · 07/09/2025 21:15

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 21:07

@KaitlynnFairchild Yes, it is. As my husband agreed to it. I hoped he was going to say it was not that short...I came with curly hair, but she straightened my hair there so she could cut it even. I have not touched it since. So I know that after a wash it will be even shorter.

I think you need to start going to hairdressers who specialises in curly hair. I have curly hair too and it should never be cut whilst straightened as the curls aren't identically curly. Some curls are bigger than others.

ExtraOnions · 07/09/2025 21:15

I went to the hairdressers a couple of weeks back, she cut it a lot shorter than I was expecting.

I looked at it, thought “that’s a bit short”, then got on with my day, safe in the knowledge that it will grow.

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 21:15

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/09/2025 21:08

So I know that after a wash it will be even shorter.

No it won't. It'll be the same length.

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne yes you are correct, however it will fall shorter when it is curly.

OP posts:
LizaRadleywasonthespectrum · 07/09/2025 21:16

It’s hair. It will grow. I understand though I went for a trim of my short bob last week. A trim of 1/2 inch. Took about 3 off and now I look like a WW2 evacuee. All that’s missing is a gas mask in a box around my neck and a name label pinned to my cardigan. Jesus I look a right twit. BUT it will grow!

Wexone · 07/09/2025 21:17

I get what your saying but it Will grow back go back to hairdressers explain why your upset? did you pay for it ? if not full refund
I am sure though it looks fab after this have a look on your tube tik tok to style it and embrace it or look at extensions if done correctly they don't do any harm
however can I honestly ask was it in good condition ? there is a girl down the road from me that has her hair down to her bum too and it's like rats tails 🙈 she gets it blowdryed every so often in the hairdressers when I am there and I honestly wish they would say to her can we just cut it to mid back it would make a huge difference to her hair condition and also lift her face a bit

SwedishEdith · 07/09/2025 21:18

Have you any before and after photos? Blur your face out. It seems extraordinary that you didn't notice when she cut at front - I know you took your glasses off.

It's hair, it grows. Is it a good cut though, despite being shorter than what you wanted? It could be a great refreshing look.

TrevorTheCat · 07/09/2025 21:18

I have a feeling that your Mother In Law may be right in that you are grieving. Maybe look into getting some counselling as to why this haircut has had such a profound effect on you. The good news is that your hair will grow back and as a PP has said it will look a lot healthier after having it cut. You are still you! You don’t need hair extensions (which without doubt will damage your natural hair) and you don’t need to hide behind a wig either (although it might keep your head warm as we go through the colder months). Please get some counselling and remember your hair will grow back in time.

5foot5 · 07/09/2025 21:18

Doesn't it strike anyone else as odd that in 21st Century Britain we are still using imperial units for things like this?

We buy petrol in litres, anything you buy in the supermarket will be in grams or kilograms. I don't believe anybody still working used anything but the metric system at school; I am 63 and don't ever remember using feet and inches in maths or science at school.

And yet here we are in 2025 apparently communicating measurements to hairdressers in archaic units. Perhaps that is the problem. Maybe one or both of you only has a sketchy idea of an inch.

KatSlayMoon · 07/09/2025 21:19

Mauro711 · 07/09/2025 21:15

I think you need to start going to hairdressers who specialises in curly hair. I have curly hair too and it should never be cut whilst straightened as the curls aren't identically curly. Some curls are bigger than others.

I agree with this. Many hairdressers do not actually know how to cut curly hair, and you definitely should not need to straighten your hair before a cut. You do need to go to a curly hair specialist, even if you ultimately do not keep your hair curly.

IOSTT · 07/09/2025 21:20

You can get extensions that just clip to the back of your head, underneath your natural hair so they shouldn’t damage your own hair

Mandarinaduck · 07/09/2025 21:20

I can understand how upset you feel and actually I don't feel it's so wildly out of proportion. It's extremely upsetting to have a horrible haircut and all the more so since you were clear about what you wanted and the cut was supposed to give you a boost. I think you should go back and complain - you will feel better for asserting yourself.

SwedishEdith · 07/09/2025 21:20

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 21:14

@TheGreatWesternShrew Yes, it definitely feels like a lack of control. I finally had a chance to do something for myself as I never have the chance to do so. And now I did something for myself, it feels like I am being punished to dedicate some time for myself.

"finally had a chance to do something for myself as I never have the chance to do so."

What does that mean?

AD1509 · 07/09/2025 21:21

Sorry you’re comparing a hair cut to your father dying?! That’s utterly disgusting. It’s hair. Grow up.

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