Hairdresser cut my hair too short

[SaraYork]

Last Friday I had a hairdressers appointment. I had long curly hair. When you pulled down the hair it just came above my bum. I told her that I wanted to keep my hair long and that only the necessary bit needed to be taken off. Which was the ends which looked very thin, dry, with split ends. She showed me how much was needed to taken off which was around 3 inches, which I agreed to.

I told her that I last went to the hairdresser's over 1 year ago. She told me that as I wanted to keep it long, I should come back every 3 months, so that they only have to cut off around 1 inch and my hair will look beautiful when it is long.
I also told her that I felt that I feel that my hair is growing more slowly while getting older.
She washed and conditioned my hair. She said that I had lovely curls and should use the scrunch technique with products.

When I got to my chair again for the cut. She showed me what she was going to cut. I said yes that is fine, which was around 3 inches. My hair was flipped to the front over my shoulders and hang over my chest. When my hair was pulled down, it cae to my belly button. But as it is curly it looks shorter, so on my chest.

Before she started cutting I took of my glasses. After some time when I had to look down I noticed that my hair looked short. I grabbed my glasses and put them on to have a look in the mirror. I turned my back sideways towards the mirror. Then I saw that she cut my hair way to short. I told her that and I started crying. She said that is what I told her. Never in my life I would have told her that as I always have had long hair.

It comes now just short over my shoulders. And that is with straightening it as she needed to straighten it as she could see then if everything was cut correctly at the same level. As I was so upset and crying she told me that I don't have to pay the additional charge of 5 pounds which they charge for people who have long hair. After she was done butchering my hair, I left crying the premises. I called my husband who told me to come home. He also said that it is something I would not go for and never that short. He knows me over 15 years.

Since Friday I feel sick to my stomach. I am unable to eat, cry, barely can sleep. I told my husband and mother in law that I have not felt this bad as when my father passed away, 3 years ago. My mother in law told me that it sounds like that I am grieving. And it feels like that. I took great pride in my hair. I have been feeling low lately and I saw going to the hairdresser's as something that I needed and would do me well. As normally I feel great and fabulous after having my hair done.

I have not been able to look at myself in the mirror. I am too afraid too touch my hair as it really makes me feel sad. My husband is abroad now and back on Wednesday. I just feel that I will break down, when I look at it in the mirror again. I also don't dare to brush it as I will feel how short it is.

I am not sure what I want from this post. I just feel so down and don't know what to do. This morning I woke up with lots of back pain which I think is caused by the stress of it all.

My mother in law told me that I have to go back to the hairdresser's and talk to the manager what happened. Not that I will get my hair back, but that they need to know and not happy with their service. In the end it is my word against the girl who cut my hair. I am not even sure at this point if she was fully qualified as what she did to my hair. I have no idea what she was even thinking and was going on in her head. Why, to say to me to come back every 3 months to cut off around 1 inch, and cut all my hair off!?

What do I need to do? Am I AIBU for feeling this way?

Thank you.

Given the completely over the top emotional reaction here I'd be very interested to see the before and after pics to gauge if it really is as short as OP makes out.

I was once in tears over a disastrous haircut - upset enough to phone a dd at uni 100 miles away!

2 days later she phoned, in tears because a male friend, a fellow student who’d once stayed with us, had been killed in a RTA in Moscow.

It certainly put my hair into perspective.

Yes. It's probably not quite how the OP wanted but I bet it isn't too bad.

@AD1509 I worded that wrong. English is not my first language. I have not felt upset about anything else since my father's passing. This is the first occasion, other than my dad's passing that I have been crying about. That is what I mean.

How did it go from 3inches off to above your shoulders?? Surely that’s like a foot’s worth of hair??

It will grow.
I wouldn’t be going back there again though.

In the UK?

I find that really surprising. So you must have been born about, what, 1969? So you were two years old when decimalisation happened. I was about eight.

If I am honest I have a very vague memory of learning to measure something in inches when I was about 6. But certainly by the time I got in to the juniors, round about the time you were born, we were taught entirely in the metric system.

When you started doing maths and science in secondary are you honestly saying they didn't teach you in the metric system? I find that truly hard to believe. How did you take O levels and so on without it?

How old are your recipe books? Nearly every recipe I see now is only in grams.

Oh and I will say it before anyone else does, yes I suppose I should change my username to 165cm!

Aw come on. I know OP’s reaction is disproportionate but don’t you think if somebody is so upset by something so seemingly trivial there’s probably something else going on?

All the people talking mentioning things like cancer, bereavement, childhood abuse etc - you have no idea what the OP is going through or has been through in her own life. People often fixate on ostensibly minor issues as displacement and there’s every chance that there’s something underlying behind OP’s reaction.

Even if her post did offend you there’s no need to kick someone when they’re clearly already feeling down. Just scroll on past?

I bet kate middleton wishes she had just had a bad hair cut and nof have to go through everything shes gone through this year

Because she has taken a few inches off it has bounced up higher as it's lighter. Try and think of the positives.

That explains it, I never straighten mine, too much faff, I look odd with straight hair and the small amount of moisture in the air and it’s a wasted effort 😂

I had a really really fucking bad haircut (I have photos if anyone wants a laugh)
I moved to a curly hairdresser and it’s perfect, he does exactly what I want. Actually showed him the photos of the bad cut and he gasped

I just wanted to send u a hug 🤗 op
i totally get why your feeling so distraught !
its quiet obvious your having a low mood or struggling and thought hairdresser visit would be a treat like pamper pick me up !
And u ended up feeling 100 x worse ! I’m not surprised and hair grows slowly it’s horrible waiting game trying to look normal with hair that’s to short ! But u can do this !
Go back and make a complaint take someone with u and any photos of your before u went in ! (I’m a hairdresser and would never ever take of more than a client wanted ) hair is important it’s our crown and glory ! X

Curly hair doesn’t need cutting as often especially if it’s long
my hairdresser says 9-12 months for mine, it’s been just over a year now and it’s definitely not a state

Hair isn't a trivial thing.

I've had more than my fair share of trauma and serious problems in the past few years but if I went for a hair cut and they cut loads off I'd be devastated, not because of my other issues but because I love my hair.

I cut my own after a very bad hair cut where she took loads off years and years ago.

Why is she even vaguely relevant to this?

Loads of people have had a far worse time than her

This happened to me. Just before I was due to give birth I went in with hair right down my back. I asked for a few inches off and we agreed in mirror where it would fall. Didn’t even pass my shoulders by time she’d finished. I was really upset but at that time had more important things going on. Still fuming now though when I think back. Can’t not have been deliberate but for what reason I don’t know

It’s fucking hair. Dear God in heaven when did we become so fragile? 🤦‍♀️

The hairdresser obv just did what she thought would look better ( not unheard of ) but I can understand if you only wanted 3 inches off you would be cross sounds like she’s cut off more than 12 inches though, not much you can do once it’s gone. I agree with calmthefuckdown

Screaming about a haircut? Seriously?

Look, I know how much hair means to people. I work with women who have lost all their hair due to chemo. I have lost about 50% of my hair due to stress, Hashimotos and maybe highlights - perhaps all three. My hair is like a wispy dishcloth and I had to get tons cut off last week to make it look vaguely ok. I wear clip ins at the side to make it look better. Except that makes me paranoid people can tell and I fear any wind...I am continuously depressed about the state of my hair which probably only makes things worse. I'm doing everything to make it grow back healthier. Very gently OP - people would kill to have your current hair problem.

You have below shoulder length curly hair. It sounds like the only thing you have lost is length - and you will get that back. You need to calm down. You don't need extensions. Look after the lovely hair you have and in a few months it will have grown and you'll wonder why you were being so dramatic.

Also, even if your hair is thin, the curls will give added volume. You're a lucky lady in the scheme of hair problems!

I would go back and ask for some form of compensation. It is so valid to feel this way though and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I imagine you still look just as beautiful with shorter hair as you did longer but your hair means so much to you and how confident you feel so you have every right to be upset. But allow yourself to feel what you need to and think of ways to cheer yourself up. Would you consider trying a wig in the meantime? I know isn’t for everyone but apparently you can find very realistic and non itchy ones now. If not winter is coming up too so a hat may be able to help with your new hair. Also maybe once you’re feeling a bit braver you could have a look at inspiration for hair styles with your new length but I know right now you’re still grieving your hair and that’s okay. Also maybe using a claw clip etc to tie it up may help as you can’t really tell how much hair once it’s up. In the meantime to get your confidence back maybe treat yourself to some nice new earrings or necklaces to distract from your hair a bit xx

Remember it will grow back, but 100% complain. Wear it up potentially. However please find yourself a curly hair specialist they have one at the salon I go to, I have never seen her straighten anyone’s hair who is curly. DM me if your in the Sheffield area, she’s fab and so lovely

@SaraYork I agree with @MaryBeardsShoes . You might be grieving (it's another loss), but they still cut your hair too short after you specified what you wanted. Do you think curl shrinkage might have something to do with the length?

Probably best not to mention your grief when complaining as they could suggest that's why your upset and not their sh*te hair cutting skills.

Kindly, get a grip.

This is insanity. You told her to take off what was needed for it to be healthy again. She showed you 3 inches and started from there. Why didn't you say that was the max you were willing to have off?