Hairdresser cut my hair too short

[SaraYork]

Last Friday I had a hairdressers appointment. I had long curly hair. When you pulled down the hair it just came above my bum. I told her that I wanted to keep my hair long and that only the necessary bit needed to be taken off. Which was the ends which looked very thin, dry, with split ends. She showed me how much was needed to taken off which was around 3 inches, which I agreed to.

I told her that I last went to the hairdresser's over 1 year ago. She told me that as I wanted to keep it long, I should come back every 3 months, so that they only have to cut off around 1 inch and my hair will look beautiful when it is long.
I also told her that I felt that I feel that my hair is growing more slowly while getting older.
She washed and conditioned my hair. She said that I had lovely curls and should use the scrunch technique with products.

When I got to my chair again for the cut. She showed me what she was going to cut. I said yes that is fine, which was around 3 inches. My hair was flipped to the front over my shoulders and hang over my chest. When my hair was pulled down, it cae to my belly button. But as it is curly it looks shorter, so on my chest.

Before she started cutting I took of my glasses. After some time when I had to look down I noticed that my hair looked short. I grabbed my glasses and put them on to have a look in the mirror. I turned my back sideways towards the mirror. Then I saw that she cut my hair way to short. I told her that and I started crying. She said that is what I told her. Never in my life I would have told her that as I always have had long hair.

It comes now just short over my shoulders. And that is with straightening it as she needed to straighten it as she could see then if everything was cut correctly at the same level. As I was so upset and crying she told me that I don't have to pay the additional charge of 5 pounds which they charge for people who have long hair. After she was done butchering my hair, I left crying the premises. I called my husband who told me to come home. He also said that it is something I would not go for and never that short. He knows me over 15 years.

Since Friday I feel sick to my stomach. I am unable to eat, cry, barely can sleep. I told my husband and mother in law that I have not felt this bad as when my father passed away, 3 years ago. My mother in law told me that it sounds like that I am grieving. And it feels like that. I took great pride in my hair. I have been feeling low lately and I saw going to the hairdresser's as something that I needed and would do me well. As normally I feel great and fabulous after having my hair done.

I have not been able to look at myself in the mirror. I am too afraid too touch my hair as it really makes me feel sad. My husband is abroad now and back on Wednesday. I just feel that I will break down, when I look at it in the mirror again. I also don't dare to brush it as I will feel how short it is.

I am not sure what I want from this post. I just feel so down and don't know what to do. This morning I woke up with lots of back pain which I think is caused by the stress of it all.

My mother in law told me that I have to go back to the hairdresser's and talk to the manager what happened. Not that I will get my hair back, but that they need to know and not happy with their service. In the end it is my word against the girl who cut my hair. I am not even sure at this point if she was fully qualified as what she did to my hair. I have no idea what she was even thinking and was going on in her head. Why, to say to me to come back every 3 months to cut off around 1 inch, and cut all my hair off!?

What do I need to do? Am I AIBU for feeling this way?

Thank you.

It's a big shock, I totally get it, but I bet someone seeing you for the first time would think you had great hair. Maybe try a leave-in conditioner so it doesn't bounce up when you wash it?

Aw, OP, this has happened to me. I had curly hair down to the middle of my back and a hairdresser cut it to above my shoulders. I cried.

Some hairdressers really don't understand curly hair. Find someone who is trained in how to cut curly hair and will cut it dry, curl by curl, it makes a massive difference.

Your mother in law has the patience of a saint.

This isn't a new thing that people have suddenly become fragile about. Hair has been important to people throughout history!

Worse haircut I had was the 80's = the days of big hair and shoulder pads

I worked Weekend on a travelling fair ground and one night when we dismantling, I was under the Walzer knocking the blocks out, and some how or or over my lovely locks got caught in the wheels and plates

Thick thick filthy grease chewed into my hair

Couple of bottles of washing up liquid, there was no other choice - it got shaved

Got that done on the Saturday, back to work on the Monday, and I may as well said I had lice - no one came near me , those that did, did so to take the piss

Two weeks later - forgotten about

A good and a bad haircut last the same length of tine - 2 to 4 weeks , At 4 weeks its pure perfection

Sorry OP, I caught the part about the haircut but did I miss a bit at the end where she chopped your arms off?

I once took in a picture of a "coup sauvage" a sort of shaggy bob into a local hairdresser. I came out with a really short bowl cut. God knows how it happned - I think she had no idea and just kept going and going. I had just started a new school. I joined as a lovely tanned teen with shoulder length blonde hair. Two weeks into term I had that traumatic hair cut and I was called "football head" for the rest of my school days. I'm VERY sensitive about hair and even I think OP is being too dramatic.

very old fashioned for them to think curly hair is best cut when it’s straight. I’m annoyed on your behalf. On the bright side it sounds like you have a v supportive partner and mum in-law. I think you’re right be be upset, but you probably understand yourself you might be feeling it a little too intensely to be just about the hair. Treat yourself to some nice caring products and vitamins to encourage growth. And find a new hairdresser who has or knows curls!
I hope you feel calmer soon

@ThejoyofNC I did. I agreed to what she showed me. She did no say once to me that more needed to be cut off.

In that case, I understand why you are upset. She’s taken a liberty in chopping off an amount that she wanted to but which you didn’t give her permission to remove. I’d complain about that for sure. However, it really isn’t the end of the world - it’s not anything like the loss of human life - your identity is not tied up in the ends of your hair and nobody will treat you any differently or really care that your hair has had a good trimming. It’s only you that sees it as enormous so you do need to try to have a bit more of a sensible perspective when you’re describing it as something life-alteringly traumatic.

I went through this.

I used to have almost waist-length hair. I went to the hairdresser saying I needed the dry bits cut off. He cut 25cm (about 10 inches) off my hair. I was horrified!!! I didn’t bother saying anything, since my hair was already on the floor, but was very upset.
About 18 months later, I’m now happy with the length that has grown back.

But lesson learnt - hairdressers are obsessed with cutting hair short. Next time if I want a few inches off, ill say I only want half an inch off.

You might hate it now, but it will grow back nice and healthy.

https://youtube.com/shorts/GHB44mfUtKQ?feature=shared
At least you don't look like a pencil

I’m sorry that you’re feeling so upset. Most of us have been there with a bad haircut.
I have a feeling yours might look really nice though, as surely your curls are even bouncier now that they are shorter?! Not what you wanted, I appreciate, but sometimes it’s good to have a chance to see how you look with a different length. Maybe you could try out headbands etc.
& if you really hate it, at least you know you don’t like it shoulder length and you’re always going to keep it long from now on.
if you feel up to it, put the complaint in though yes. Hard to imagine why the hairdresser would be so reckless.

To be honest I think it is worrying that you are quite so distressed. I prefer my hair a certain length, but to me it wouldn't be the end of the world if it was suddenly a different length or style. That's a completely different issue from whether the hairdresser did what you asked (which she clearly didn't). You didn't get what you asked for and I think it is quite reasonable to expect a refund, but try not to let it get you down so much - it will grow back.

You’re grieving like you did when your father died. This is fucked up. How can that be comparable.

That’s a good point, actually. Maybe the hairdresser didn’t take very much off, but the curls will have gone tighter now they’re shorter, so that’s why it’s risen and is looking shorter by more than the amount she cut.
The hairdresser should have taken that into consideration and discussed it with you first though.

Can absolutely see which people have never had really long hair. When you grow it really long you get rather attached to it. It becomes a big part of your personality. I've never let a hairdresser cut mine, although I hacked a load of my hair off a couple of months ago. The difference was I had done it, and not someone else.

"Fuck those bitches"? Good grief. Why are you using such awful misogynistic language to describe a hairdresser who made, at worse, a simple error at work.

If you go to a hairdresser again, after this awful experience, find one who specialises in curly hair. Straightening it to cut it straight shows that they don’t understand curls.

Your reaction is what it is, so there is no such thing as being unreasonable about how you feel. However, as someone who cuts their own hair and doesn’t really have any attachment to it, I can’t really imagine being more upset by this than my parents dying, so I do feel like you may need to question whether there is anything else at play here. It seems a very disproportionate reaction to something that most people deal with more than once in their lives. I can’t honestly say that I’d rather be bald than have lost my darling mum or dad, so that part particularly (unless you had a poor relationship with your dad of course) stands out to me. Are you struggling with your H being away? Do you put a lot of importance on your appearance? It seems like this grief/violation is symbolic of something else.

In the same way some people are particularly sensitive to fabrics and labels others are affected by their hair. It affects me badly if my hair isn't right, it's not vanity , I just don't feel like myself and yes hair grows but it takes ages unless you're a Girls World! I think you should go back OP and complain.

So hang on, you said to your mother in law and husband that this is as bad as when your father passed away!! WTF?

I currently look like Lord Farquhar after a bad haircut recently but it’ll grow. It’s just hair xxx

Actually I have had really long hair on many occasions, and it is curly. And then sometimes I have it cut very short or shoulder length or whatever because no hairstyle is permanent. I've never felt that attached to my hair, or my fingernails or any other choppable bits. Just as well really because it all fell out when I had cancer. And then it grew back when I finished my chemo, as hair tends to do by its very nature as a growing thing.

And my hair has never been part of my personality, good grief, I'd hope there a bit more about me than, you know ... hair.

How did you not see the amount she was cutting off? ... and stop her from continuing?

Can absolutely see which people have never had really long hair.

I’ve had really long hair before, but I’ve not felt ‘grief’ when I had it cut off. Far more important things to be worrying about than flipping hair which will grow back!