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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hairdresser cut my hair too short

250 replies

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 20:21

Last Friday I had a hairdressers appointment. I had long curly hair. When you pulled down the hair it just came above my bum. I told her that I wanted to keep my hair long and that only the necessary bit needed to be taken off. Which was the ends which looked very thin, dry, with split ends. She showed me how much was needed to taken off which was around 3 inches, which I agreed to.

I told her that I last went to the hairdresser's over 1 year ago. She told me that as I wanted to keep it long, I should come back every 3 months, so that they only have to cut off around 1 inch and my hair will look beautiful when it is long.
I also told her that I felt that I feel that my hair is growing more slowly while getting older.
She washed and conditioned my hair. She said that I had lovely curls and should use the scrunch technique with products.

When I got to my chair again for the cut. She showed me what she was going to cut. I said yes that is fine, which was around 3 inches. My hair was flipped to the front over my shoulders and hang over my chest. When my hair was pulled down, it cae to my belly button. But as it is curly it looks shorter, so on my chest.

Before she started cutting I took of my glasses. After some time when I had to look down I noticed that my hair looked short. I grabbed my glasses and put them on to have a look in the mirror. I turned my back sideways towards the mirror. Then I saw that she cut my hair way to short. I told her that and I started crying. She said that is what I told her. Never in my life I would have told her that as I always have had long hair.

It comes now just short over my shoulders. And that is with straightening it as she needed to straighten it as she could see then if everything was cut correctly at the same level. As I was so upset and crying she told me that I don't have to pay the additional charge of 5 pounds which they charge for people who have long hair. After she was done butchering my hair, I left crying the premises. I called my husband who told me to come home. He also said that it is something I would not go for and never that short. He knows me over 15 years.

Since Friday I feel sick to my stomach. I am unable to eat, cry, barely can sleep. I told my husband and mother in law that I have not felt this bad as when my father passed away, 3 years ago. My mother in law told me that it sounds like that I am grieving. And it feels like that. I took great pride in my hair. I have been feeling low lately and I saw going to the hairdresser's as something that I needed and would do me well. As normally I feel great and fabulous after having my hair done.

I have not been able to look at myself in the mirror. I am too afraid too touch my hair as it really makes me feel sad. My husband is abroad now and back on Wednesday. I just feel that I will break down, when I look at it in the mirror again. I also don't dare to brush it as I will feel how short it is.

I am not sure what I want from this post. I just feel so down and don't know what to do. This morning I woke up with lots of back pain which I think is caused by the stress of it all.

My mother in law told me that I have to go back to the hairdresser's and talk to the manager what happened. Not that I will get my hair back, but that they need to know and not happy with their service. In the end it is my word against the girl who cut my hair. I am not even sure at this point if she was fully qualified as what she did to my hair. I have no idea what she was even thinking and was going on in her head. Why, to say to me to come back every 3 months to cut off around 1 inch, and cut all my hair off!?

What do I need to do? Am I AIBU for feeling this way?

Thank you.

OP posts:
Mademetoxic · 07/09/2025 20:25

Your hair will grow again. :) it will be in better condition that what it was before. Think of it like that. :)

In a few weeks it will all work out fine again.

Jesswebster01 · 07/09/2025 20:26

I think you should definetly go back and let them not you didn't get what you asked for hopefully get your money back. If you hate is so much you could try hair extensions till yours grows back I have wore them for years just for thickness.

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 07/09/2025 20:28

YANBU. An unexpected and unwanted change of appearance can be really upsetting.

Your hair will grow longer again. It’s not permanent. Maybe wear it up for a while?

Greenangellite · 07/09/2025 20:30

How much did they cut off?how long was it when dry before

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 20:30

Jesswebster01 · 07/09/2025 20:26

I think you should definetly go back and let them not you didn't get what you asked for hopefully get your money back. If you hate is so much you could try hair extensions till yours grows back I have wore them for years just for thickness.

@Jesswebster01 My husband just texted me as well to look into extensions. However, I read that it can damage and weaken your natural hair? Is this true? I am also looking at wigs.

OP posts:
SaraYork · 07/09/2025 20:33

Greenangellite · 07/09/2025 20:30

How much did they cut off?how long was it when dry before

@Greenangellite When dry and straightened it would come just above my bum. Now it comes to just over my shoulders. So after washing and it curls up it will come not over my shoulders anymore. That is not 3 inches what has been cut off.

OP posts:
MaryBeardsShoes · 07/09/2025 20:35

I had this once, and I cried for two days. It sounds ridiculous but I was so upset. But it did grow of course!

I think you should go back and complain because it sounds like you were clear in what you wanted!

BabyBadaBing · 07/09/2025 20:36

Christ she took too much off.

Look at tape or nanny ring extensions if you really can't be 'you' with shorter hair.
It will grow, have faith.

SaraYork · 07/09/2025 20:36

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 07/09/2025 20:28

YANBU. An unexpected and unwanted change of appearance can be really upsetting.

Your hair will grow longer again. It’s not permanent. Maybe wear it up for a while?

@BuffetTheDietSlayer I do not have a face for wearing my hair up. I feel it does not suit me and I feel more comfortable with (long) hair around my face. Also I have little hairs in the back of my neck which are hideous to see with my hair up and I feel even more conscious about myself.

OP posts:
Geranium879 · 07/09/2025 20:38

It sounds like she has cut about a foot off?! I would def try get my money back.

I do think you’re being melodramatic though. Grieving ?! Cmon, we’ve all had bad hair cuts. I once asked for a bob and came out with a short pixie! It was such a nightmare to grow out and yes I was upset… but it really is only hair and it will grow back.

ComfortFoodCafe · 07/09/2025 20:41

This happened to me, i asked for shoulder length hair - the bloody hairdresser cut it to my CHIN!
I cant even put it up so I have resulted to wearing a hoodie with the hood up till it grows back.
I told the hairdresser I had a bad experience with a previous one years ago cutting it to short before hand and low & behold she did the same bloody thing.
So I feel for you!

Milliemoons · 07/09/2025 20:47

I actually stopped going to the hairdressers for years because they would always cut too much off and it upset me so much. I have now started again but only because I prefer my hair short these days. It will grow again, but you already know that. I think you’re just looking for reassurance that your feelings aren’t invalid. They’re not.

KaitlynnFairchild · 07/09/2025 20:49

A hairdressers inch is always bigger than a normal inch. It sounds like she has cut off far more than agreed though.

When I have extensions and take them out I always feel like worsley gummage with short thin hair. Now in reality I have hair to my bra and thicker than most but the change makes it feels so extreme.

Are you sure it’s as bad as you think? You are comparing your bum length straightened hair to your freshly curled cut hair too which makes it even more extreme.

Big hugs it sounds like a big disappointment.

TalulahJP · 07/09/2025 20:50

How could she mistakenly lopped off a whole foot. That’s horrific.

However it will grow.

You need to find a way of coping.

At the moment youre acting like youve just had some horrific news like someone’s died. If you’re generally stressed or unhappy could you be depressed? Go to the gp. Your reaction is OTT. You don’t need a wig. You just need to try and make the most of it while it grows.

sanityisamyth · 07/09/2025 20:51

Extensions and wigs? It’s hair. It grows back. It’ll be less split and damaged for a decent trim.

Louoby · 07/09/2025 20:53

I think all you can do is either look at extensions or try and embrace your new look. I would absolutely go back and say you never gave permission for the amount of hair and ask for a huge discount on extensions.

dilemma2516 · 07/09/2025 20:53

oh I have been there with curly hair and bad cuts, weeping screaming, waking up in the night about it.

TheGreatWesternShrew · 07/09/2025 20:55

There are two issues here - firstly, it sounds like she completely misunderstood what you wanted? Otherwise I don’t see why she would cut more. It does her no favours. However if you were that unhappy I would have expected her not to charge tbh.

Secondly - your emotional reaction is not normal and I’d question if it’s not about the hair but maybe something else? Lack of control in your life or feeling violated? Because it’s just hair… it is not the same as a person dying and other people will barely notice your hair. We would all be upset for a day or two but to avoid mirrors and be sobbing for days to this extent is unhealthy.

So you should go back and tell them why you’re unhappy. Maybe get your money back. But then you need to move on… it is only hair and it will grow back.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 07/09/2025 20:56

Are you really saying with true accuracy that she cut off about 12” instead of the agreed 3”? It seems a surprisingly large amount to have a misunderstanding over. However, if she’s cut off every bit of hair that was dry, damaged and split and there was that much that needed to go then I think you might need to accept that your hair didn’t look that healthy or good before and it actually looks better now.

YouCanMissHer · 07/09/2025 20:59

Sorry to sound dramatic but was your hair natural (not dyed?) and does the salon you went to also offer hair extensions? Is there a chance they did this to get a large amount of hair they can sell to someone else?

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 07/09/2025 21:02

Get some perspective.
It is hair.
It does not define you.
Whilst I appreciate we are all different I didn’t react with this level of drama when I was told my cancer had spread.
You need to develop some resilience or your life will be impossible.

Nessiesfoodprovider · 07/09/2025 21:03

Yikes. That's a huge amount to have cut off. You need to go back and complain, or at the least email them.
I had an awful similar experience a few years ago, although my hair was nowhere near as long as yours was. It's traumatic. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or try to minimise it.

ousontmeslunettes · 07/09/2025 21:04

I had a catastrophic cut (also curly hair, was half way down my back - cut to above chin length) 2 weeks ago - I had asked for just split ends - no idea why she cut so so much off. I cried and cried and was physically sick. It’s so short i cant even tie it up without putting loads of clips and product on it ans even then I have wispy bits everywhere. When I wake up in the morning I look like a mad woman. I have a corporate job and need to look smart. And I feel maimed. So I feel for you. And actually, feel reassured reading your post that im not hysterical because I felt so so so awful, waking up at night crying bad. Ans normally im pretty stable, easy going and not the emotional type. But as people have said to me - it will grow back. Winter is just round the corner and you can wear hats. Sending compassion. Xoxox

HelenaWaiting · 07/09/2025 21:04

You hear a lot of stories like this. I think the issue is that they haven't actually listened to the client. I would definitely complain.

IIlII · 07/09/2025 21:05

It’s not what you wanted, but your reaction is so over the top, get a grip, it’s hair it grows back. Just don’t go back to that hair dresser again and move on.

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