Hairdresser cut my hair too short

[SaraYork]

Last Friday I had a hairdressers appointment. I had long curly hair. When you pulled down the hair it just came above my bum. I told her that I wanted to keep my hair long and that only the necessary bit needed to be taken off. Which was the ends which looked very thin, dry, with split ends. She showed me how much was needed to taken off which was around 3 inches, which I agreed to.

I told her that I last went to the hairdresser's over 1 year ago. She told me that as I wanted to keep it long, I should come back every 3 months, so that they only have to cut off around 1 inch and my hair will look beautiful when it is long.
I also told her that I felt that I feel that my hair is growing more slowly while getting older.
She washed and conditioned my hair. She said that I had lovely curls and should use the scrunch technique with products.

When I got to my chair again for the cut. She showed me what she was going to cut. I said yes that is fine, which was around 3 inches. My hair was flipped to the front over my shoulders and hang over my chest. When my hair was pulled down, it cae to my belly button. But as it is curly it looks shorter, so on my chest.

Before she started cutting I took of my glasses. After some time when I had to look down I noticed that my hair looked short. I grabbed my glasses and put them on to have a look in the mirror. I turned my back sideways towards the mirror. Then I saw that she cut my hair way to short. I told her that and I started crying. She said that is what I told her. Never in my life I would have told her that as I always have had long hair.

It comes now just short over my shoulders. And that is with straightening it as she needed to straighten it as she could see then if everything was cut correctly at the same level. As I was so upset and crying she told me that I don't have to pay the additional charge of 5 pounds which they charge for people who have long hair. After she was done butchering my hair, I left crying the premises. I called my husband who told me to come home. He also said that it is something I would not go for and never that short. He knows me over 15 years.

Since Friday I feel sick to my stomach. I am unable to eat, cry, barely can sleep. I told my husband and mother in law that I have not felt this bad as when my father passed away, 3 years ago. My mother in law told me that it sounds like that I am grieving. And it feels like that. I took great pride in my hair. I have been feeling low lately and I saw going to the hairdresser's as something that I needed and would do me well. As normally I feel great and fabulous after having my hair done.

I have not been able to look at myself in the mirror. I am too afraid too touch my hair as it really makes me feel sad. My husband is abroad now and back on Wednesday. I just feel that I will break down, when I look at it in the mirror again. I also don't dare to brush it as I will feel how short it is.

I am not sure what I want from this post. I just feel so down and don't know what to do. This morning I woke up with lots of back pain which I think is caused by the stress of it all.

My mother in law told me that I have to go back to the hairdresser's and talk to the manager what happened. Not that I will get my hair back, but that they need to know and not happy with their service. In the end it is my word against the girl who cut my hair. I am not even sure at this point if she was fully qualified as what she did to my hair. I have no idea what she was even thinking and was going on in her head. Why, to say to me to come back every 3 months to cut off around 1 inch, and cut all my hair off!?

What do I need to do? Am I AIBU for feeling this way?

Thank you.

Your hair will grow back. I understand though that you are understandably upset. Your hairdresser obviously knows nothing about curly hair. You cut curly hair dry to see the shape of the curl and ensure length when curly. A good hairdresser does not need to straighten the hair to know the length of curly hair. I would make a complaint to the manager and in this case post a review to warn other curly haired individuals. I hope you are able to enjoy your curls again soon. A good cut does help though, I just had 3 inches off my curly hair to make it short however it was my choice.

How many inches were cut off and how many inches of that were thin wisp?

Awful! It's because they aren't used to curly hair, definitely. That and some hairdressers seem to just keep cutting.
Definitely go back or email and complain/explain the situation. They may offer extensions or refund.
Look up Nuala Morey salon or The Curl Clinic on Instagram and next time go there! You need curl experts.

You could try a half up half down, or really bringing out it more curly and just embracing it. You can buy some nice Biotin supplements from Holland and Barratt and use rosemary oil in your shampoo/buy a scalp brush to stimulate hair growth. At least it'll be healthy and it'll grow again. Think positive, you got this and winter is coming anyway, buy a lovely jumbo scarf.

This completely!

Learn to love it as it is. It will soon grow back.

Also, you sound as though you need something more important in your life than your hair. Maybe look into why this is such a big deal to you? I used to have beautiful dark hair with red lights, gorgeous, but guess what? I'm now 50% grey. I concentrate on other things.

@5foot5 She showed me how much needed to be cut off in order to look healthy again. And that was around 3 inches. She never said I am going to cut 3 inches. She showed me, how much she was going to cut off. I use inches here as I am aware that in the UK most people use that.

It grows back. In the kindest way consider how you’d feel if you had to have chemo and lost it all. Puts it into perspective a bit.

I don’t understand your emotional reaction, sorry. I had lovely curly hair in January. In February, chemotherapy took ALL my hair, lashes, eyebrows, the lot. I still have cancer and no hair. Your issue seems trivial. You HAVE hair, it will grow ( that’s what I’m told). Get perspective.

@CalmTheFuckDownMargaret No, she showed me beforehand how much was needed to cut off in order to look nice and healthy again, to which I agreed to.

Hairdresser here, retired.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, some stylists can't seem to get to grips with curly hair unfortunately and forget how much it springs up when cut. I'm not sure what happened here, whether it was miscommunication or she didn't know what she was doing, it happens. But I would definitely go back and ask to speak to the manager. We all make mistakes but we need to learn from them. Maybe she needs extra training if she wasn't sure how to handle your hair or training in how to listen to the client and explain why what the client wants isn't feasible etc.

Extensions - I wouldn't personally, especially as when they're removed, your own hair can feel thin and in some cases, they can cause traction alopecia/ hair loss if not fitted correctly/ maintained and so on.

What I would do is take really good care of your hair, oil your ends daily and pamper it, eat well and try not to worry. I promise your hair will grow back very quickly and also, if you take good care of it, you'll find your hair is stronger and won't need trimming nearly as often. If you don't feel you can face the manager in person, email or write a letter to them outlining what happened. If this stylist was working for me, I'd absolutely want to know the situation and try to put it right and ensure it didn't happen to anyone else. Trust me, you might not be the first person to complain about this stylist and if the manager is worth their salt, they will be well aware of their capability anyway and will know it's important to address this so it doesn't happen again as they've already lost you as a client.

If does. I feel quite angry reading this post.

@Wasitabadger She even had curly hair, so I thought she knew what she was doing....

I had asked for just split ends - no idea why she cut so so much off.

That’s probably an indication that your hair was in worse condition that you realised.

Did she show you the length she was going to cut off when it was over the front of the cape?

Wash it and style it so it is curly again with the new style. Then see if it needs a proper cut in order to hang correctly and to make the curls sit correctly. My hairdresser has been cutting my curls for years and has my bounce down to a T but she never straightens it to cut it. Find a hairdresser that specialises in curly hair if you need to. You can then google different styles, to help.
Send an email to your hairdresser and ask for refund. I wouldn’t bother with extensions, I suspect they’d cause damage to your hair and give it a few months it will be back past your shoulders anyway. It will take getting used to, and please do go and see your GP as it sounds like there’s more to this than one dodgy hair cut. (I had several before finding the right hairdresser, but I used to groan, find a way of managing it, let it grow a bit and it used to be fine.)

Traumatic?? Really?

@Drivingmissrangey No, I asked her how much needed to be cut off in order to look better. She showed herself what was needed, to which I agreed to. So unsure why she said something different than she acted upon.

Oh OP, your pain is palpable.
I am so sorry.
It reminds me of Fleabag's impassioned speech about hair being everything.
I have had the same the week before last - I absolutely hate my bob and it has aged me a decade. I am really embarrassed and don't know what I was thinking.
So I promise I do understand.
I am, however, going to let it go as I cannot do anything. I do not want extensions and, being menopausal, wigs will not work for me.
Sending you a virtual hug. We will feel better by Xmas, I promise Xx

Some good balanced views on this one. Yes it's difficult for you, but it will re-grow healthier, don't worry about it and move on. The hairdresser may be reading this and she's not nasty or malicious, she just made a mistake.
Your beauty is inner, not outer, get out, shoulders back and look forwards. You can't change what's happened so have to accept and learn from it. Xx

I’ve had the mushroom cut on occasions. It grows back. Not much you can do but wait and never go to that hairdresser again!

@YouCanMissHer I have never dyed my hair. I am not sure if they do extensions.

I think it was that line that made me have a lot less sympathy than I would have tbh. I know the feeling of a bad haircut. But I don't cry for days when it happens.

It'll grow back. Yes it's a pain in the arse but it'll grow.

This happened to me when I was in my early 20s and I was very upset as I had also always had long hair. I worked out approximately how long it would take to grow back to the original length and did a hair countdown calendar which I printed out and ticked off each day. It gave me back a bit of control over the situation.

Reading your replies, I don't think this is really about the hair. Go and have a chat with your GP, OP, and take care of yourself x