To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

Women have started wars,Catherine the Great for one. But I agree, that mostly it's men who do. However, we can't control Putin/Xi Jinping/Kim Jong-Un etc so it's good that there are brave men AND women to defend us

Obvs men should wind their necks in, but men like the above don't want to do that. And don't forget that Kim's daughter is pretty terrifying herself, I wouldn't put it past her to start a war.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvgvgj7ejqdo&ved=2ahUKEwie05j938mPAxXl8LsIHdmcG4gQFnoECFIQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1JO-19XUSuIuavjd4hck1b

I do, I have 3 lovely sons, I know some lovely men but I’ve also experienced multiple sexual assaults, inappropriate behaviour and intimidation by men since the age of 13. You only need to read the comments by hundreds of men on recent articles about Pamela Anderson’s, Nelly furtado and katie price to see how disgusting many men’s attitudes are towards woman. They lusted over them whilst they were attractive to them and now they’re not the comments made are vile, thousand of comments about how many sexual partners they’ve had, what their vaginas look like, how they’re past it and have let themselves go, many stating there’s no excuse for a woman not being in amazing shape after children. This is post after post of misogynistic comments. So yeah I will say that far too many men are disgusting.

Yeah men moaning that woman have had numerous sexual partners is the same as woman stating many experiences of sexual assault or cheating

Horrific. Absolutely horrific. I'm so sorry, @MinwallaModel. 💔

I had a father who was very similar, and he also was thought outside the home to be a respectable pillar of society. Behind those doors he was a psychopathic sadist. I'm not going to repeat my own earlier experiences on this particular thread, but suffice it to say, I relate.

EMDR therapy is wonderful for women with this kind of history. It can't rid you of the memories, but strips away the emotion and allows for an objectivity of vision I never thought possible. It's very unlikely that with your history you're not suffering from some form of PTSD (I have cPTSD).

And yes, it was always men. On every single occasion.

We all have a human responsibility to help however we can, including people who we do not personally like and who do not like us. As Jesus said, 'Do good to those who hate you.' But obvs it's bad to hate any group.

I don't think people saying men should challenge misogyny should risk being head-stamped. Probs more likely thinking of say, a corporate workplace where men are being sleazy to women.

Thank you, that's v informative. I had not read the study through fully, should have done.

I'm really sorry your father was like that. 🫂 Far too many behave that way.

Abusive mothers are also vile, but given that men commit most violent crime, it would seem v odd for violent mothers to be the majority.

MRAs use this study a lot, so it's good to have conformation it's not as simple as that.

😭😭 you've nailed mumsnet omg

I think that very few people, male or female, are wholly good or bad. We rarely know the entirety of a person’s actions, let alone thoughts. Society does demand a degree of normality in our interactions as well.
It is totally possible that someone can be a great boss, kind to kittens, run for charity AND be awful and/or sexually predatory. I always say Hitler loved his dog, and I have read he was good to his office staff, mainly female - doesn’t really balance out the rest of his ‘activities’ does it.
It seems to me that many, many men have sexual tendencies that most women would find at least a little disturbing, but apparently this cannot be true as they’ve not been seen or heard to have them personally. Obviously, at work and in everyday life actions are moderated, but even then there are many posts of lived experiences of inappropriate behaviour where the male thought it worth a go.
I agree we will not understand (as in feel) the same high/unusual urges, but we should work on understanding why and how/if it can be limited, or if not then what to do.
Maybe it ends for now as we just accept it is the way, but control it as much as possible- not making me feel enamoured of fellas - but I remain open to some being decent and would be really interested in what makes them so.

I have sons too. They are still young and im doing my best in raising them. I have brothers, dad, uncles, cousins.. They are all decent hard working family men..on the outside. I am certain that at lest some of them are filthy bastards when no ones looking. Online etc..

I agree there is pressure on men to seek status and compete (though a lot of women have stressful & competitive jobs now, plus kids often, but there isn't the same pressure to do so). And not being able to get sex when you want it is annoying.
But women often miss out on what they crave too, just tends to be things other than sex : a loving relationship, children etc It's part of being human.
I think being cruel to men who can't get a relationship or sex is v wrong. Men often mock men who are sexually unsuccessful themselves, so do women. It may often not be their fault at all.
Also men's T levels are supposed to drop in a relationship, they don't just stay early 20s level horny forever.

I agree there is pressure on men to seek status and compete (though a lot of women have stressful & competitive jobs now, plus kids often). And not being able to get sex when you want it is annoying.
But women often miss out on what they crave too, just tends to be things other than sex : a loving relationship, children etc It's part of being human.
I think being cruel to men who can't get a relationship or sex is v wrong. Men often mock men who are sexually unsuccessful themselves, so do women. It may often not be their fault at all.
Also men's T levels are supposed to drop in a relationship, they don't just stay early 20s level horns forever.

I think there needs to be a clear line between having a thought, and it being morally fine and something to follow through with.

It was about physical abuse, not sexual abuse.

Besides, as GarlicPint and other posters kindly showed, it actually shows men abuse kids physically more when you control for father absence.

I understand that. I have enough evidence. I was just compliling a dossier with everything in it and included it for my lawyer. I'm pretty desperate. What he has done is so bad, that I have to give this case everything I've got. Yes, I can see that although I think it's grim, they're all consenting adults on that site.

No the men I know aren't sex fiends and perverts. I've got a son and I'm 100% sure his girlfriend wouldn't say these things about him. I also doubt his friends are this bad.

I think Mumsnet answers are generally from a pool.of women who have had some bad experiences. Just as there is undoubtedly a forum out there where men have just about had it with women and will criticise them for being fussy, low- libido, wishy-washy, under. sexed, bland, boring etc etc . That's probably the other side of this coin..

I think a lot of women DO feel common bonds
. As Gloria Steinem has pointed out, groups of Israeli and Palestianian women were meeting to try and build bridges long before Camp David.

We can see w the Trans issue that many conservative women have allied with radfems and other women they strongly disagree with to protect women's safety. I would argue that divisions like Jewish vs Muslim and Reform vs antifa (antida is a tiny minority anyway) serve men better than women.

As for the person most women trust most being their partner - not sure of that. For one thing, a bet a lot women trust close friends and family members just as much.

That's good you have enough evidence. It's terrible you've had to suffer this, 🫂 I hope he gets what he deserves. I understand trying to bolster the case.

I think this thread has been a real eye-opener. I've learned a lot, as well. About straw man arguments, for example. I've picked up some real pointers. There are some very clever people on here.

I've also seen so much sadness. I'm so sorry if I've reopened wounds for some of you. It just goes to show that so many of us have awful stories.

I also can't believe how many times I've been called a bigot. And even a racist. It's something I don't understand. I just don't really believe that we can be bigoted towards an oppressor. Or racist about white people. It just doesn't sound right to me.

So many women in denial. So many twisting my words.

I haven't incited any kind of violence. I'm just stating my views. I've even changed my mind on one point - namely that I play a part in it if I don't dare state my boundaries. I'm grateful to the posters who helped me reach that conclusion. I'm not to blame, but I can help stop it in my own way.

Yes, there are bad women out there. Christ, I've met a few and even had another dreadful experience with one recently. But I'm not sure her sex was anything to do with it. And sex was certainly nothing to do with it.

So, I'm sorry about the inflammatory title. It was maybe a bit much. I don't have the stats to back it up. Let's say, a large proportion of men are... too pervy by far for my liking. There. Will that do?

Of course they're not the same as incels. I'm just saying that they weren't shy of using terrorist acts to achieve their goals.

Is there any situation where blowing up innocent civilians (including women and children) is justified? It appears only to be chance and inexperience that caused the bombs not to detonate.

It was already acknowledged as the likely reason pages ago. The point was that nobody tends to look for explanations when men commit violent crimes.

But then you go and watch all the social experiments online and see how men rush to the aid of a woman, whilst everybody laughs and records it on their phones when she attacks the man.

Here’s the thing - I know some men who seem decent so I would absolutely give them the benefit of the doubt. But if I found out they had shared intimate pics of their partners online without permission or used prostitutes or were abusive in any way (for example) I would only be a tiny bit shocked by it.

If ANY of the women I know did any of those things, I would be hugely shocked and would barely be able to believe it.

Thats the difference.

I read the suffragettes took care to not set bombs to harm people, only in empty places. Is that untrue?

I wondered about that too! You’d have to be on a dark web surely?