To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

My home consists of me, my daughter, my sil and my son. Both lovely men in my household and they mean the world to me.

Would I bring another man into the mix to live here? No, never. He would have to be as independent as myself with no interest in combining households. He would understand my situation as I would his.

It's not rocket science.

I have been following this discussion all day and i didnt think the comments could get any worse but clearly some people feel it is perfectly acceptable to be sexist arseholes towards men. I am amazed mumsnet hasnt banned half of the commentators on here

you must be really miserable

oh dear women speaking out on how they find many men to be

when really we should stfu

No worries, happens to us all in haste. To be fair I don't question the stat - simply because of the numbers game. Children are far far more exposed to women than to men - mothers far more often take on the childcare than fathers, both in and out of relationships; most early years practitioners, teachers and medical professionals are women. Young children in aggregate very rarely spend any significant amount of time alone with men, even their own fathers, for fairly obvious reasons. So the opportunity and motivation for women to physically and emotionally abuse children is significantly higher, even if the tendency to do so is (as I suspect) much lower. If the tendencies were equal, you would expect to see the violence against children by men to be correspondingly small in proportion to their relative access. instead there is an almost 50/50 split in most studies.

This is an interesting article about filicide and attempted filicide which supports the argument that women are (slightly) more likely to abuse: https://scholarlypublications.universiteitleiden.nl/access/item%3A2938388/view I think the variations in method, motive and 'success'

you are confused with expressing an rational opinion (perfectly reasonable) with blatant sexism.

its based on my experiences, so my opinions

as others its based on their experiences that form their opinion

men are not suffering from dealing with sexism just because women want to express their opinions

so you do you agree with the original posters opinion that "men are filthy losers?"

That is so sad and i feel so sorry for young men out there who have no idea how toxic some peoples opinions are

Women here talk about how they dont want men to: harrass them, touch them without consent, make sexist comments, be violent, being seen as less than, being controlled, attacked and objectified.
Men who hate women talk about the ways women should behave in order to service men and their needs.
Hardly the same thing. The jailed is allowed to hate the jailer. Although most of us don't hate men. We just hope they were decent humans with integrity. Who treated us with kindness and respect.

Do any of these women who think all men are filthy losers have Sons?

again - you are blanket covering an entire gender with this toxic view. We all know there are some total arsehole men out there who treat women with complete contempt but that does not justify instigating these sorts of discussion threads.

Jeeze. My husband has had a radical prostatectomy. Thankfully the well-publicised side effects were not permanent, but at that point this was the least of my worries. The greatest of them was becoming a widow at far too young an age. If we'd never had sex again it would have been a small price to pay for having my husband with me, healthy and alive.

But 'happy?' Hell, no.

I don't think men should respect women 'specially' they should respect everyone across the board. It's not OK for anyone, male, female, straight or gay for that matter, to treat someone in these disgusting ways.

Celibacy should not be mocked etc, saying a sex is a right is obvs v dangerous. And casual sex is bad for everyone. The porn market should be severely restricted, and yes, censored. I don't think porn should be totally banned but at the same time it shouldn't be protected by free speech laws.

Filmed sex is not new, stag films date back to the early 1900s. What is new is how accessible and extreme it is.

TempestTost is quite right. Dark Romance is horrible, normally rape & kidnap etc. As are beastiality stuff like Bull Moon Rising.

2 caveats : the women in the stories are generally victims, not aggressors. It's not good to get turned on by that, but better than by fantasising about being the aggressors.

And erotic books don't harm real people as porn often does

But they are still very worrying.

Tbf she has a point. A lot of guys will think twice about catcalling a woman who's holding hands with a 6'4 unit of a bloke.

@fightbackorriseabove, sorry to see the increase in replies trying to make you the problem! First rule of misogyny:

As a woman who has had a hysterectomy, I'd agree with him. Wholeheartedly.

Bigotry is bigotry though.

You don't like their particular style of bigotry and they may very well not like yours.

It doesn't make them or this thread any less bigoted though.

This is such a sad thread, as it's reminding me of all the times men have been sleazy or violent towards me, or tried to take advantage - so many times. Even the nice ones, sometimes.

Sorry you don't like what's being said, @Winelondon and others, but clearly there is an awful lot of pain that women haven't been able to express. This is one of the few places where we can safely let out a howl at how we've been mistreated.

Having experienced two very different relationships. I couldn't put my DH in nowhere the same category as my first ex. They are both men but worlds apart in how they treat women.

I think many of them are adn can understand why this statement was made by the op

my ds is well aware that life is easier for him being male and the reason why and hopefully shall be a better man for this

I would be first in the queue to join.

OP I want to high five you so bad.

I don’t even know where to start writing about my experiences - the abuse, the sulking when sex didn’t happen, the leaving me to deal with an at home abortion so they could go and get pissed, the cheating, the lying, the harassment.

In the just the past week-

My friend’s daughter got told she had a lovely arse by a group of young men while she was riding her scooter. She is 11 years old.

A man slapped a 6 year old girl whom he doesn’t even know, in public, whilst being a ‘child’s entertainer’

An ex who I thought I was friends with threw a tantrum because I cancelled some plans we made (I was ill) and started banging on about his feelings towards me (so yeah, he never wanted to be friends)

Another ex’s close mate tried it on with me over SM

Men who are junior to be at work keep hounding me to do their admin (this isn’t my job)

I am fucking sick of them all.

Always happens on this site. I've long suspected a proportion of the manosphere is right here on MN, waiting to tell women off for daring to tell other women of the often terrible treatment they experience at the hands of men.

Women talking to each other of experiences which quite overwhelmingly affect our demographic, is dangerous.

Women saying 'no' is intolerable.

You simply cannot make sweeping statement about one section of society. Replace the word ‘men’ with another group and you’ll realise. How MN is leaving this thread up I don’t know.