To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

The crux of the matter is that it doesn't matter how many men are decent. They're not the problem, and they don't count in discussions about the problem.

I can totally see why some women would be put off men for life; I'm sure there is only so much you can take before you become irredeemably discouraged.

Yep, that's it. You got to this response before I did and make the same point I would have made about the struggle for emancipation being in no way comparable to the desire to oppress another demographic. Aside from which, the suffragists and suffragettes were somewhat different categories.

But what's really notable to me is that the 'best' example of this the PP could come up with was from a century ago. Case demonstrated, I'd say.

It’s weird that you see having a “low libido” in the same category as being “toxic” or “man-hating” or “misandrist”.

Sorry I have been laughing my head off of that!

I often hear incels act as if not being able to get a girlfriend is systemic oppression
but to hear women make the same argument is something else!
And you are right. The fact this is the closest example to the violence you mention speaks volumes.

There was once a really good thread on here about decentering men in our lives, and it was quite a revelation.

I tried to search for it but got results like decanter, decent and debenture. Fuck the patriarchal search engine complex.

The fact the more women are the main caregivers has got to come in to this. If equal amounts of men, or more men than women were the main caregivers, particularly single caregivers, then the rates for physical/emotional abuse and neglect where men were the perpatror would go up. It's all relative.

People call them incels and they say a lot of the same types of things. Look up the "men going their own way" movement.
They want to steer clear of women, don't see a use for them. Talk of creating societies of only men.
Some of them are happy to use women for sex - prostitutes mostly, as they get what they want without all the hassle (their words).
Quite similar to some of the comments on this thread.

Thank you! I see people roll this out as a “gotcha” against women and it makes me weep at how many people have such woeful and data analyst skills.

Happily celibate.

MGTOW are not incels (and the absolutely are not happy - a perusal of any MGTOW site will show, despite what they say, they remain obsessed with women).

Incel does not merely mean somebody who is celibate. By definition there is no such thing as a happy “Incel”. If they are content with celibacy
they do not call themselves that
and do not engage in misogyny.

Enjoying and consenting to rough sex isn’t anything like getting off to teenagers who are “barely legal” or insest

You're telling me that men who identify as incels are happy about being celibate, yes?
This is how Wikipedia defines an incel:
'An incel is a member of an online subculture of mostly male and heterosexual people who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one. They often blame, objectify, and denigrate women and girls as a result.'

Do you not see that a man who is happy about being celibate is by definition not an Incel?

Yes, sadly it's about being hurt yourself, not hurting others. Makes sense as men are more likely to be sadistic and women to be masochistic.

@JHound the father has 50/50 custody & works. He also gives the Mum £1000/month so DD has same standard of living. The Mum gets child benefits, tax credit as well as this £1000 maintenance. So she’s not really given up her career as she only has 50% custody & has now moved the daughter out of her home. So I would support the father on this occasion.

Which just shows just how you shouldn't jump to conclusions because I've been married nearly 30 years to a man that I have to bat off with a stick most days 😅😅

This is an article by an undergraduate that doesn't even appear in a legitimate bibliographic database and only has 8 citations according to Google Scholar - credible sources would be preferred if you're going to make this kind of statement.

I actually think that there is a growing movement of SOME (and I really do mean only some) gay men who dislike women and see them only for surrogacy purposes.

How true is this! One track minds.
I was never so happy as when my DH had a prostatectomy with the well publicised frequent side effects.
Generally I've found women have so much stronger and rounded personalities.

We have to have because when the chips are down, raising the next generation falls to us.

This

Listen to yourself!

Imagine if a man posted on here that he was never so happy as when his wife had had to have a hysterectomy because it meant she could never get pregnant.

No. I have no idea what you have experienced in your life.

Aren't you just so lucky. Many of us are not. Most of us have very good reasons indeed to dislike men. Try and have dome empathy. I'll never trust one again as long as I live.

Thank you, I am sorry. I was in a hurry, should have read more carefully.

It's worth noting that MRAs always claim mothers are more violent. That seems to fly in the face of biology. Obvs there are cruel violent mothers, but it seems unlikely there are far more than violent fathers.

Can I ask a question which I've been wondering for a while? I think it's relevant to the thread.

I read an article which claimed sex is so important to men bc they only get an oxytocin burst during sex ,,while women get it during sex but also in general affectionate moments,so it helps them bond more.

Lots of men were agreeing w the article (on Substack).

But if that's true, why do most men, by common consent, find it much easier than women to have casual sex w no emotional attachment? I know some women cab do that too ofc, but it's rarer.

Can anyone remember adverts from a few years ago encouraging men to speak up against other men who are harassing and abusing women?

These lovely creatures don't typically speak up for women what with being such brave and strong souls.

Their self-imposed male hierarchy is really quite pathetic. Fear of ridiculule and laughter from other males is far more serious than the abuse towards women.

While I think about it:

How about the how-can-we-make-women-feel-safer-when-around-them posts I read after Sarah Everard's sickening murder?

These idiots need explicit instructions on how not to be intimidating. Again the onus is put on women to tell them.