For not paying half when I'm leaving.

[Cuppatealover]

Very emotional and awful time right now. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
Been through a hell of a year. Decided to move in with partner in January. A week after signing for the rented house we found out I was pregnant. All good.
Moved in end of March and partner had paid to get whole house blinds fitted, new floors through the house and appliances for kitchen. We agreed I would pay him back my half for these.
Fast forward and relationship has just gradually got worse and broken down. I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby.
Had a row the other week as I told him I do not want to be in this relationship anymore and how do we go about the split re house and associated costs. He still expects half for the blinds, flooring and appliances (I haven't paid anything yet) but intends to stay in the house and won't move. Has said if I'm unhappy then I should move. Which I agree with. But I've said I'm not paying half for things he is keeping of he is staying in the house. I can't take half a fridge freezer or blinds!
I have now found a house and told him after looking for months. Got two cats so it's incredibly difficult to find a rental. Now I've told him it's erupted into a huge row about how I'm trying to worm my way out of paying him back and putting him in financial hardship because he wouldn't have paid for those things if he knew I wasn't going to pay half.

Because I wasn't in as much debt then. I've had other costs to pay for (car service and MOT and subsequent work done) and obviously now moving out I need over 2k house deposit and first month's rent upfront before my next pay day.

Well it's a five-year "Rent to Buy" property, so I guess it's possible - I'm not familiar with the terms of this Govt-backed scheme.

But OP agreed to pay half at the time. But she didn’t as she had no money due to debts. He probably thought he was getting the place ready for the baby. Which was apparently terminated by OP at late stage because they were arguing & she had 3k of debt.
He’s now stuck with the full rent & bills, no money back on the things they agreed to go halves on & the soon-to-be born baby he was excited about has been terminated.
I am pro choice but if OP wanted the baby, couldn’t OP have got free housing from council if she left him as a single mum - plus child maintenance from him?

OP has given him the option to move out and leave the cost of the goods to her.

He can’t have his cake and eat it too.

He wants the white goods too (which can be moved) but doesn’t want to pay for them.

I wouldn't be paying for something I'm ultimately not getting any use out of. He's staying there so he will, change of circumstances happen 🤷‍♀️ I'd think the same, male or female.

There would have been rent in advance.

I feel quite sorry for him, he thought he was making a home for a family and now he's left with nowt.

You don't pay him for blinds and floors in a house he's living/enjoying on his own when the expenditure was made as a couple, and you left it when the relationship broke down and had to rent somewhere else by youself..

OP, a heads up, some of the people posting here are being called out for their rude posts to OPs on their other threads. So I would take some of these responses with a pinch of salt.

I’m seeing a pattern of two or more posters come together like a pack against an OP.

They will only do the check after I leave which is why I suspect he's getting so stressed about me not paying half for everything incase he ends up having to leave. Of course in that scenario, none of us are benefitting from the goods purchased and I would be willing to then pay half based on the fact that the goods were for both of us. I would have to sort a payment plan out with him. But if he is staying then I reiterate my point of they are now his things to do as he pleases.

Housing and child maintenance are NOT the only considerations in that choice.

He’s left with the house and the goods he paid for. OP is the one who needs to find money for a deposit and rent for a new place.

So from what it looks like, your ex is planning to stay, with a view to buying eventually? He has paid for the necessary items which he will get the use of.

How many months did you live together in the place? Perhaps you could pay him the equivalent of a monthly rental for the items. Say twenty quid a month and then you're effectively handing over that responsibility, just as you are the rent and bills.

I know that sounds petty but I do think people are being very black and white here. If you'd paid the £1.5k up front then you'd be financially tied to him and less able to leave. Would he have given you a share of the money back? It's unlikely, isn't it?

This one I think he is going to have to chalk up to experience.

So?
OP has already stated the she has shared the rent with ex. What is your problem?

Ah yes Invigoron - just move in to a council property and claim maintenance from the baby's dad. It's that easy to solve all your woes from a broken relationship and raise a child. What an utterly ignorant response.

That’s more than fair! Stick to it.

adoption was a choice too for a late stage pregnancy?

Adoption also a choice for a late stage pregnancy?

But NOT the choice OP made, that word choice, remember it?

I haven't read the answers to the OP, but frankly sometimes I wonder how many men are answering posts, camouflaged as women. It's beyond shocking reading answers to women posters asking common sense advice.

Why hadnt you paid anything in eight months piror? You obviously wasnt going to ever pay so why agree?

Tweetytweet81 if you would like to speak to Karbon Housing association and ask them if it's true I'm sure they'd be obliged you absolute troll. Clueless.

Give it a rest.