For not paying half when I'm leaving.

[Cuppatealover]

Very emotional and awful time right now. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
Been through a hell of a year. Decided to move in with partner in January. A week after signing for the rented house we found out I was pregnant. All good.
Moved in end of March and partner had paid to get whole house blinds fitted, new floors through the house and appliances for kitchen. We agreed I would pay him back my half for these.
Fast forward and relationship has just gradually got worse and broken down. I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby.
Had a row the other week as I told him I do not want to be in this relationship anymore and how do we go about the split re house and associated costs. He still expects half for the blinds, flooring and appliances (I haven't paid anything yet) but intends to stay in the house and won't move. Has said if I'm unhappy then I should move. Which I agree with. But I've said I'm not paying half for things he is keeping of he is staying in the house. I can't take half a fridge freezer or blinds!
I have now found a house and told him after looking for months. Got two cats so it's incredibly difficult to find a rental. Now I've told him it's erupted into a huge row about how I'm trying to worm my way out of paying him back and putting him in financial hardship because he wouldn't have paid for those things if he knew I wasn't going to pay half.

You are not a failure, OP. Your relationship has broken down, you have debts and are struggling to survive. Do not be guilt tripped into paying for fixtures and fittings you can’t use. I left a relationship and flat when I found out my partner was shagging my best friend. He rang me up when the bills came in and demanded I pay half and I told him where to get off. Be tough, stick to your guns and move out. What’s he going to do, take you to a small claims court? I doubt it.

Reading comprehension 101 precious vs precarious

He has threatened this yes

You dont pay for abortions on the NHS.

Some of these replies are absolutely batshit!
OP of course don’t give him a bloody penny!
HE will benefit from all of it, not you!!

This doesn’t even make sense! Have you had to much of the communion wine?

Even if he does this, I doubt he'll get more than 10%. He should just accept that amount now.

Call his bluff.

If he takes you to a small claims court, then so be it. You did agree to pay & you didnt pay in eight months but this is seriously the least of your worries.
Honestly op I would leave today & go stay with family or friends if you can. This wont end well.

Currently, there's no guarantee OP's STBX can stay in the property, as per my exchange with OP earlier:

AngelicKaty · Today 15:21
"To be fair OP, if this had been your opening post you'd have received different responses (it's been a bit of a drip-feed but things are clearer now).
So, has your STBX passed the affordability check? Is it certain that he can remain in the property alone?"
Cuppatealover · Today 15:29
"They will only do the check after I leave which is why I suspect he's getting so stressed about me not paying half for everything in case he ends up having to leave. Of course in that scenario, none of us are benefitting from the goods purchased and I would be willing to then pay half based on the fact that the goods were for both of us. I would have to sort a payment plan out with him. But if he is staying then I reiterate my point of they are now his things to do as he pleases."

In other words, if he gets to stay in the property she won't pay, but if he doesn't because he can't, she will. Having read OP's original post I thought she was being unreasonable, but having read all the subsequent ones, I think the approach she's outlined here is reasonable and I've changed my vote on the basis of this being her intention. 😊

Because they signed a five-year "Rent to Buy" lease with the intention of buying the property from the housing association in the future. It's nothing like a six-month AST.

You agreed to pay half.
You havent paid him anything in 8 Months
You should of paid him large chunks of money already.
You shouldnt of promised to pay half if you couldnt afford it

OK then OP, was your agreement to repay him half just verbal or, for example, did you discuss and agree to repay him via text messages? In other words, is there evidence that you agreed to repay him?

I've no idea why you are getting such a bashing here @Cuppatealover

I suggest you add up the cost of the goods. You agreed(under very different circumstances) to pay 50%
Now IMAGINE that 'your 50%' expected(and agreed) contribution was put on a zero % credit card. Payments spread over, say, 3 years or 2 years. IMAGINE.
Stick with me.
Work out what your 'use' or 'rental' for 8 months would be. 8 times the IMAGINED monthly payment.
Pay him that.
To be a pedant on my imagined formula, pay for the amount of months you have had use of or enjoyment of or benefit of the said agreed purchases.
Best of luck x

It's not fair that you should pay for something and have zero use or gain from. He's the only one using them of course, and it'll improve his house value. This wasn't clear from your first post but I don't think you should be expected to pay. Wishing you the best as you rebuild.

He's probably an abuser, your better of without him.

Why so nasty? You don’t know what went wrong o the relationship? Is this just about the money?

Reported. (You know MN has Talk Guidelines, right?)

She's had half a year of using them. It would have been pretty grim living in a place with no flooring, blinds or white goods.

Did you just threaten a female poster ? You know they can trace isp’s ?

It was a twattish post, but where's the threat to the OP in it?

Or am I reading it differently?

How is that a threat? Just pointing out that what she’s done and the way she’s treated people is pretty terrible.

Make him an offer, in writing, for:

The percentage use you've had out of these items;
To pay for half and take the practical half that are portable.

When he inevitably tells you to fuck off to both options, tell him he can indeed take you to small claims court.

These options are fair solutions to the issue, small claims court will see that you've made fair offers, and he has refused them and most likely tell him to stick it up his arse.