Is this a shitty thing to do by DH

[Oscarsmom71]

Do just been out for a couple of drinks in large city centre.
Almost at train station to go home.
There is a road to cross with busy traffic and trams crossing.
DH sees traffic coming and runs across leaving me and makes it to the other side and turns around and laughs because he made it and I was left at the other side of the road.
He thinks it’s highly funny I didn’t make it.
So then I have to wait to cross when it’s safe.
DH can’t see why I’m upset. But to me it’s not caring. Not seeing if I cross safely.
To me he should’ve waited until I crossed safely not dash across and laugh at me.
For context also I had a nasty fall crossing a road once which he is aware of how long it took me to recover.

Yep an unpleasant way to behave ..solo behaviour

And of course expect the cloak//jacket across a puddle for safety!

That’s a good way to put it. I suppose if I wouldn’t do it to a friend, I’d feel pretty bad doing it to a partner.

I’d forgotten my ex did this a couple of times, or would try to hurry me when I didn’t feel
it was safe to cross.
It was part of a pattern of uncaring behaviour and a sign of incompatibility, hence him being an ex.

It’s the equivalent of going out with somebody and they walk through a door ahead of you and let it slam in your face. I mean, I’m perfectly capable of walking through a door by myself, but I can do better than that.

I think it was a dick move. Of course you can cross the road but why wouldn’t he wait until it’s safe and cross together. And why did he laugh? Did he think he had beat you in road crossing? What an idiot

@SoManyIdiotsSoLittleWine why are you personally replying to anyone who disagrees with you 😂 weird behaviour, you’re taking this strangely personally.

This. Just because I can cross a road myself why would I want to be with someone who runs off and then stands and laughs at me that’s not normal behaviour. I feel like posters saying this is fine have partners who don’t show care of them and are trying to feel that there’s nothing wrong with how they behave towards them

Hey Izzy, it’s a discussion forum, it’s all good.

I think you are really over reacting (i say that as someone who can massively overreact at times, so that's not a judgement on your character).

I think you’re perhaps right. I think people are often just purposefully contrary too, if the OP was the husband in this scenario they’d say the opposite.

If I was walking to the train station with any adult and they suddenly bolted across the road/up an escalator/round a corner and turned round and laughed at me, making it into some kind of juvenile competitive activity, I would think they were really odd and had certainly had more than two drinks.

But that didn't happen did it.

I don’t think I’d be hugely upset if DP took an opportunity to cross as long as he waited on the other side. generally we do cross together though. The laughing is odd and childish though, and would have he potential to piss me off depending on context.

Well, personally I assume my partner is more than capable of crossing a road without me waiting for him like I’m his parent so yes, I’d probably laugh if he waited unnecessarily and he’d do the same to me 🤷‍♀️

Why do you need a man to hold your hand before you cross a road or go down stairs?

DH sees traffic coming and runs across leaving me and makes it to the other side and turns around and laughs...Thinks it highly funny.

Didn't it?

So this incident probably looked different depending on which side you were viewing it from.

I am assuming this happened in the UK where "jay walking" is not a thing and it is not illegal to cross the road when the light is against the pedestrian or, indeed, at any random location.

Surely it is not unusual for a grown adult to quickly assess the approaching traffic and conclude that it is OK to cross NOW provided they don't dawdle? I know I do, although I will qualify that by saying I would never do that at a crossing if a parent is waiting with a child because I am not a dick and I don't want to undermine the parent's road safety lessons. I don't take unnecessary risks, but if I am sure I can get across I go. I am in my 60s but can still produce the necessary amount of "dash" to complete this sort of move successfully.

So what I am actually picturing here is OP and her DH arrive at the road at roughly the same time. He take a quick look and thinks it's fine and goes for it. OP is a bit more hesitant and misses her opportunity. DH is surprised when he gets to the other side to see her still over there and just laughs. No big deal. Perfectly normal reaction. Total non-event.

Because he’s my husband and we look after each other. If we are crossing the road in between traffic he will take my hand to make sure I make it across the road he does not run off and leave me at the roadside. He knows I am wary of stairs outside because of my eyesight so he makes sure I get down the stairs. Same with escalators.
Do you think that’s normal behaviour for a grown man towards his wife to leave her at the other side of the road then laugh at her ? If that’s what your partner does then I feel sorry for you

Who laughs because they ran across a road and someone else didn't? Is he 5?

This

I wouldn’t have given this a second thought. I would probably have laughed at him laughing (though I can’t imagine he would. He might give me a sarky wave and grin I guess). I think you were looking for an argument op.

Is OP 5? Needing someone to check she crosses the road safely

Your post clearly implies the whole thing was a practical joke. That didn't happen.

He just saw a gap and crossed the road, and she didn't.

My partner knows I’m a grown adult who doesn’t need my hand held to cross a road 🤨

I know everyone's relationship looks different but I've only known one couple who didn't have any 'humour' or fun or playfulness in their relationship.

Both very well suited to each other (genuinely) but so staid and dour and serious.

They just didn't ever have any fun or silliness in their lives at all to the point where, when she and I went out and things were a bit light hearted, she would giggle uncontrollably - even at times it wasn't really appropriate - because she was so unused to it letting go and just having fun.

I don't know. My partner and I are kind to each other and decent people and I spend 60+ hours a week being a responsible and sensible adult at work. I think it would drive me mad if we couldn't just have a bit of 'youthful' silliness now and again.