To think school should’ve let me keep ds4 back a year?

[BulletinGuru]

hi im new here so sorry if this is in the wrong place.

my ds4 started reception this week, hes only just turned 4 in feb so hes one of the youngest. hes finding it really hard, crying every morning, not wanting to go in, teachers saying hes not joining in with carpet time and gets upset when hes told off.

i did ask last year about keeping him back until hes older but school said its not really possible unless theres “special reasons”. i just feel like hes not ready yet. hes still quite babyish, wants his dummy sometimes at night and struggles with writing. some of the other kids are nearly 5 and it seems unfair hes expected to keep up.

dh says “he will be fine” and i should just give it time but its horrible seeing him so upset.

aibu to think they should let younger ones start later?

I'm so confused about how many DS's there actually are?

There is no way you'd be allowed to defer a February born in my LA. So the best thing you can do is work on his confidence and security.

What have the school said about pull ups?

@Bluebigclouds
Well she clearly hasn’t tried hard enough! Unless there is a medical reason no 4.5 year old should be in pull ups! It’s entirely a parenting issue! 🙄

I don't think there's anything unusual in him being clingy and crying. 3 or 4 kids in my DS's reception cried every day for the first half term. Several others would have pretty regular tearful days but all got a lot less by summer.

I do think you need to get on top of potty training first. He's still under the HV until 5, so make an appointment and come up with a plan with them.
Personally, I'd wait until half term and swap pull ups for real pants. Assuming he doesn't have additional needs, he'll soon learn being wet isn't nice. (Pull ups are so absorbent that he won't feel wet so there is no pressure for him to learn.)

I really wouldn't worry about reading or writing until you get feedback from the school on how he's doing. Basic school readiness is your aim this term.

Does the school allow pull ups ?

obv they can’t change him if get wet 2-3 times a day

41/2 year olds should be able to remove clothes wipe and redress. Especially with elastic trousers and velcro shoes. My not yet 3 year olds have all done that.

Think you mean England, not the UK.

Hi op
im sorry for the some of the harsher replies on here
of course no one knows what the OP has actually tried to do to prepare her DC. Not every Sen child is noted by age 4- or other issues. Some children are just more delayed than others. Unless you know she hasn’t tried maybe lay of the bad parenting comments.

Totally agree. Things that you and I as a cm/nanny have taught many children

the school where my friend works as a ta in R - no pull ups /nappies unless sen

so i wondered if @BulletinGuru send her son in pants and wet many times or a pull up