Page 7 | People just turning up at house

HloldingonbYathread · 07/09/2025 15:57

Canipetthatdawg78 · 06/09/2025 13:08

I feel like this may be a mixture of being on my period and having only managed to get to sleep at 4:30am last night but I digress...

my FIL and BIL just turned up completely out of the blue to our house. I was slobbing on the sofa in my pajamas with unwashed hair, the kids aren't dressed - generally our house is fairly tidy most of the time but I had a busy day out with the kids yesterday and
got back late so the kitchen is a mess and it's just not "guest" ready.

It was one of those really personal moments where I felt so comfortable just slobbing around with my own little family and we were all happy doing our own thing and now I have to suddenly be "on" as well as worrying about being judged for my hairy legs etc 🤣

Am I being unreasonable for feeling really irritated? I could very will be and will accept it if I am... it's not early in the morning, we're all pretty close and I get on with them very well I just could have done with a heads up y'know?

This would drive me
around the twist

HelpMeUnpickThis · 07/09/2025 17:12

@Canipetthatdawg78

First off, i am sorry! Very annoying.

However when we (exH and I) were looking to buy a property, we went for a viewing and the lady opened the door and said “you find us as we are” and when i say it was the biggest mess i have EVER seen 😂😂 in a highly expensive post code ….

I am sure you are fine.

26 years later we still say “you find us as we are”. 😂😂.

godmum56 · 07/09/2025 17:50

My Mum used to say "Take us as you find us"

Moii · 07/09/2025 17:53

I think people are getting more unsociable, when I was a kid in the 70s family were local and close neighbors all popped around unannounced, little knock on the door and entered.

BluePearOntheRocks · 07/09/2025 17:59

godmum56 · 07/09/2025 17:50

My Mum used to say "Take us as you find us"

Some people think the problem might be the state of the house but for many of us, house is fine and visitor ready. We just don't WANT or have time to see uninvited people

wasdarknowblond · 07/09/2025 18:31

Ahhh what the hell? If they turn up unannounced they have to accept people as they are and get their own coffee. Yes I do realise you were chillaxing but if you are that close it shouldn’t really matter surely?

godmum56 · 07/09/2025 18:36

BluePearOntheRocks · 07/09/2025 17:59

Some people think the problem might be the state of the house but for many of us, house is fine and visitor ready. We just don't WANT or have time to see uninvited people

Show quote history

yup this was in that days before mobiles and many people didn't have a landline either, we didn't. Sunday was the day when visitors might turn up, my parents hated it.

Original poster

Canipetthatdawg78 · 07/09/2025 18:38

Woah this picked up some more traction today!

Overall I am very welcoming, I do like to have guests and we are all a very close family. I think I just felt so gross yesterday that I wouldn't have wanted aaanyone to see me (even my husband if I had a choice in the matter haha) and when I heard that door open it made my blood boil 😂

To the person who said saying "my own little family" made me sound like snow white - that made me laugh out loud - I meant it more like my small very immediate family 🤣

I was just in one of those moods where I couldn't even be bothered to open my mouth to speak!

OP posts:

janehopper · 07/09/2025 18:42

In the days before mobile phones this would be more understandable, but I think it's very rude now not to check its convenient first. But I don't have any family near me so it would never happen without checking first.

Original poster

Canipetthatdawg78 · 07/09/2025 18:43

janehopper · 07/09/2025 18:42

In the days before mobile phones this would be more understandable, but I think it's very rude now not to check its convenient first. But I don't have any family near me so it would never happen without checking first.

That's all I needed!

Just a quick "we're popping over in 30 mins" so I could put my hairy legs away 🤣

OP posts:

OriginalUsername2 · 07/09/2025 18:47

My ex ILs were like this, all of them. And they would call out the fact I was in my dressing gown in shock. They had never heard of a lazy Sunday, apparently.

GiveDogBone · 07/09/2025 18:53

It’s incredibly rude to turn up at someone’s house unannounced. I mean what if you already had guests over. Next time, shut the door in their face.

IOSTT · 07/09/2025 18:56

Did they turn up randomly at lunch time?? Hoping you would feed them?

Helena39 · 07/09/2025 19:20

The times when people (family or friends) could just pop in without calling first, are long gone.
Now everything has to be arranged in advance and there is no spontaneity.
It is so sad, but I hate it when people pop in now. It’s almost like besides the house looking ok, I also need to be mentally prepared for a visit.

ellyeth · 07/09/2025 19:35

I would find it very inconsiderate and wouldn't dream of doing the same myself - unless it was some sort of emergency.

Presumably they weren't coming to stay? Even so, a phone call would be in order. Would you really lock the door and not respond to them knocking? I don't think I could do that.

cavalier · 07/09/2025 19:40

I detest it when people do this
it’s always when I having cleaned or tidied up yet
like they want it catch you out and gossip or Something
I could be on the look etc
rude ! 😂

Rhaenys · 07/09/2025 19:43

I hate this so so much, and I’ve just got into ‘trouble’ with my family for not answering the door when some of them turned up unannounced when I wasn’t ready for guests

Blablibladirladada · 07/09/2025 19:46

Well.
it really depends who it is that is coming. Isn’t it?

Generally speaking, if you are close to someone, shouldn’t be any issue…coz they would know when to catch you no drama. If you aren’t close, then just no.

Blablibladirladada · 07/09/2025 19:48

Rhaenys · 07/09/2025 19:43

I hate this so so much, and I’ve just got into ‘trouble’ with my family for not answering the door when some of them turned up unannounced when I wasn’t ready for guests

Yeap…our door bell has a default :)
Still remembered the very loud banging on the door…too bad I was on my sofa…😏🛋️

LouiseK93 · 07/09/2025 19:48

YANBU. Its a massive bug bear of mine.

BuildingLego · 07/09/2025 20:02

I like family and friends coming by…but I do like some sort of heads up. A quick call or text, at least give me 10 mins to put some pants on or pick up toys up or take pots away!

I wouldn’t just turn up at someone’s house unannounced, I don’t even do that to my own mum & dad. I always give them a text first.

Biskieboo · 07/09/2025 20:05

Canipetthatdawg78 · 06/09/2025 13:13

Just to add they did a little knock and walked straight in so I was literally lying on the sofa like a goblin when they came in the living room

Show quote history

Oh jeez, I sympathised anyway but that's just increased tenfold. We've got a neighbour who does this and it pisses me right off. Walks in, quite often when we're slap bang in the middle of dinner/kids' bedtime, launches into the detail of whatever stupid problem she's managed to get into today and which for some reason she needs our help to get out of, totally oblivious to the luminously obvious fact that we're having a bit of family time. She's generally really nice and is great with our kids but Christ this does annoy me.

Onthebusses · 07/09/2025 20:07

Who let them in?

Donewiththisshit · 07/09/2025 20:16

YANBU. My sil comes round always unannounced and walks straight it. I am often in the bath or asleep it pisses me right off. I have literally been inside her house once!!

fetchacloth · 07/09/2025 20:35

YANBU I'd be really pissed off about that too, it's really bad manners and inconsiderate.
I would have just parked them in the lounge and gone upstairs for a shower, or said , can you come back later as it's not convenient at the moment and left them to it.
That would really grind my gears tbh.