To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

This is the post that sums it up I think.

Biggest issue is surely yorkies with LAMB !

A previous poster called OP babes so she just responded in kind.

OP is just responding to posters on her own thread which surely is the whole point of Mumsnet. She has received a lot of responses and she is replying to many of them. The threads where the OP doesn't engage or provide updates are much more frustrating.

Just cook the pizza before you start the roast and he can eat before everyone or get him one from takeaway if he will eat it. I have a friend whose son has sensory processing disorder (something that often than comes with but is not exclusive to autism) and I have an autistic daughter myself both of them would struggle to have a roast or whatever we would eat. I would not have a problem popping in a pizza seperately if asked to. Yes it may be more simple to just do pizza for everyone but it's a one off meal that your sister would really appreciate. If this was something that happened regularly I'd be with you but you don't see your sister and nephew very often and she's really looking forward to a meal made by you so I'd do it.

Just cook the pizza before you start the roast

She starts the roast at 4am!

Yup, she's done a good job at fielding some very aggressive posts.

I actually think she sees she was a bit overly wound-up and surprisingly few ops are able to do that.

She was venting in a humorous manner. There is no need for half AIBU to go on the attack and make up hostile scenarios to “defend” aussie sister and the nephew. They were not harmed during the first meal or the posting. It is the AIBU group grope that is OTT.

I’d definitely be off to carvery this time around OP.

I have autistic child with eating issues (I would be delighted if they ate a pizza and a roast dinner isn't even worth thinking about). I would however ask and explain what they could eat and check with you about it. Think there were plenty of potential solutions on here like going out or doing roast for adults and pizza for kids. I would ask her what he can eat and go from there

You don’t get any praise or glory for going to a carvery!

Would you rather your nephew sat hungry, feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed while you all ate?

Oh NO! Not a CARVERY! One is bound to find the yorkshires have been compromised.

I loved that expression on this thread: my grandmother used to use it for girls that had "relations" before marriage, but why not a yorkshire pudding that has breathed a draught of kitchen air before its time?

You would rather your nephew ate before coming (and then what, sits watching you all?)? How is that not excluding him?

Getting up at 4am to cook a roast and demanding everyone worships at the altar of your cooking makes you sound like am exhausting martyr.

Is anyone in your family autistic?
If you've found a fix for ARFID I'm sure everyone would love to hear it.

Quite. Would save me the £££ I spend on a specialist dietician (who is an expert in ARFID) to try and improve the diet of my autistic child!

You’ve been able to buy bistro gravy granules from the uk in Coles in Austrilia since 2013!!! They aren’t a new thing and you can buy the Ozzie version too or even go to aldi and get the European version 🤣

I absolutely give my nephew what he wants to eat. He is severely affected with autism and if that means he needs pizza, then he gets pizza. If the other kids want pizza too, then it’s no more trouble to give them pizza too. Get over yourself - your poor sister, sensibly fending off a meltdown is to be admired - she even brought a pizza to keep things calm.

Yep, me too!

My two DC eat my roast and their cousins do not eat roast so when I host Christmas Day it’s a non issue. The only issue here is deflating yorkshires…your nephew is autistic, don’t make this a thing. Defo chat to your sister about opening the oven, offer to cook the pizza and tell her to leave the kitchen.

He has ASC; there's your answer when your kids complain that it's not fair.

Tell your sister that you will get him a pizza (don't make him one as it might be 'different') and be in control of cooking it so it coincides with the roast.

You seem a bit dramatic.

I do agree with this op. And I think she probably didn't realise she was doing anything wrong by balancing it on the parsnips.

As for compromising the yorkshires the jury is probably still out.

I only voted yabu because kids don't have to eat food they hate. Why don't you let all the kids have pizza, then everyone is happy

Don't be silly, I don't demand people to worship at the alter of my cooking.

I only ask that they sacrifice a lamb in my honour and then bring it to me at 4am.