To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

It really isn’t unreasonable for someone to say, I’d love a roast but my son really can’t eat it, can I bung a pizza in for him? That’s just hosting for family with kids. The fact that the son is autistic and there are additional reasons why he can’t eat a roast is neither here nor there. If I was hosting a large group and there were kids, I’d expect to have to cater for them slightly differently regardless of any additional needs. And yes, that’s a bit of a ballache, but not one I’d take to Mumsnet over, however lighthearted I tried to make it with emojis. It’s just a thing. Not everyone enjoys the same food. You can either cater for the majority and no one else and accept that some people around the table will not enjoy their food, or you can bung a fucking frozen pizza in the oven.

Me, if it was an autistic kid? I’d roll my eyes at the oven opening, and make sure that next time I catered for him without risking my yorkies.

A ‘lighthearted’ thread covering off seasonal (not seasonable) eating 18 months later is weird.

Fair enough.

Honestly, I think this thread may have gone a little differently if it was said from the outset that you weren't aware of his food issues. I think most people assumed you were aware but seemed to be expecting him to try the roast anyway which is what I initially thought.

I hope it goes much more smoothly this time.

I'm not the one who has posted all afternoon desperately trying to catch OP out and getting clearly riled when not able to...

Thankfully it doesn't sound as if OP plans to be so mean to her autistic nephew and will cater to his needs.

Especially if he doesn't happen to eat sandwiches or cold pasta.

Yeah that’s fair, it was a fast moving thread and I missed your later posts.

Yes that would be the kind and reasonable thing to do.

OP I love you, your sense of humor, and probably your cooking as well. Just ignore these hypercritical and probably hypocritical posters. Your sister was rude not to inform you of her child’s dietary restrictions, rude not to inform you she would need to bring pizza, and rude to open the oven and shove the pizza on top. You offered her lots of accommodations and you have more strategies now so I hope the next fabulous meal you cook will go over well.

Oh babes, do look up irony!

👏

OP?

Oh sweetie, do look up my “all afternoon” posts!

Let’s get this into perspective, autistic DN prefers pizza, I can get up at 4 am to do lamb, but can’t accommodate that!

I want to make my DSIs feel awful by saying because your son is wanting pizza, I am going to take away my 4am roast and we will all eat pizza. “Sulk”

I mean that’s not unkind and unaccompating is it?

As OP says it’s pizza 🍕 gate!

Previous post by OP is no one does “play dates” like her, they just don’t reciprocate!

A pattern is there.

I think so!

Nope, definitely not OP. Just a poster who doesn't think she's being U and has found the pile-on in general uncomfortable to read.

because your son is wanting pizza, I am going to take away my 4am roast and we will all eat pizza. “Sulk”

You are completely fabricating the way this conversation with my sister went to suit your own narrative. You weren't there. You don't know the spirit in which it was said.

I do enjoy cooking my "4am lamb" (and if you want the recipe just say!)

But I was willing to sacrifice my own enjoyment to accomdate nephew in a way that worked for everyone.

That's the truth of it. You can deny it and twist it to make it into something you want it to be all you like. I don't care. I don't know you, I'm thankfully unlikely to ever meet you and I have all the answers I need from this thread and have even had some pleasant interactions from much nicer people.

So crack on with your made-up delusional shite. I'm not arsed.

I think this is a good idea.

Thank you, I appreciate it

She's been unreasonable but not as unreasonable as people are now making out in some of these replies. She was a bit uptight about it all, but I doubt she's been stewing over it all year. It's come up again because the next pizza/roast showdown looms on the horizon.

Yup @SuperTrooper1111 I agree. I hadn't got to your post when I posted mine above, but I think op has been ( wait for it! I'm thrilled with this one!) "roasted" enough.

She was uptight and a bit precious about her roasts, but nothing worse.

IMO totally uptight!

You can come for a roast any time you like 🥰

Yup I'd have it!

Might tweak to 9 am lamb, but still interested ...

I’d just take control of the putting in of the pizza. Otherwise this is completely reasonable. I imagine she was trying not to not give you extra work but got it wrong. Tell your kids he’s autistic and can’t eat a roast. Give them pizza night at some point.

Doesn’t work the same at 9am, I’m sure!