Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

but she didn’t check. So how did that help the dilemma she faced at that exact moment in time?

....and this is why there's something to learn from this - check! 🤔

But that wasn’t what the Op asked

Potette https://share.google/Kwikj3eMeTjfQMAhh

Unless your daughter has a medical condition you have not mentioned, she would not go from not needing to wee to absolute desperation in the time it took you to get from the supermarket to your car.

Does she usually piss wherever she likes? Does she pull her pants down and piss in the school playground?

I suspect you probably couldn't be arsed to take her back into the store, so you let her piss in the car park.

By the age of six your daughter should have enough dignity to want privacy when she needs the loo and not to want to piss in a supermarket car park where anyone can see her. That she appears not to mind is your fault.

The woman passing by had good reason to feel disgust at you for letting your daughter think pissing in public is normal behaviour.

Yes, thanks dear. Plenty. Hope you do too (!)

It's not ideal, but come on, dogs and cats pee everywhere (and worse). A little girl desperate for a wee isn't going to harm anything.

And the parent of the year award goes to you

That's why you make them go at every opportunity

Why? For using common sense?

Can understand your predicament but weeing in public is not ok. Haven't rtft so someone else may have pointed this out already. It's a public order offence. The age of the child is irrelevant according to the law. It may seem a small thing to you, but to plenty of others it's not a small thing.
There are instances where it really can't be avoided so the best idea is to find a really secluded spot and shield from view. You could've opened front and back car doors for example so she was hidden between them. The potty in the car is also a great idea suggested by pp.
It's done now though so no point getting upset over it. The woman was right to say something though.

Oh Good Grief

In no way is that a comparison!

It's part of the answer to 'was I being unreasonable?'

Just in case no one else has mentioned it and it helps @Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist my niece would suddenly needing to wee and be quite urgent about it. Obviously at six their bladders are much smaller capacity than adults, but it turned out her bladder was being irritated by blackcurrant - when she stopped having Robinson's* *blackcurrant she was a lot better.

The reason we use toilets and don't pee just anywhere is because it's unsanitary. I said it's not ideal, but hygiene wise it really isn't much different, and a little girl desperate for a wee isn't worse. Just pointing out that it's not more unsanitary if a child does it rather than an animal. Trying to put things in perspective over the "Good Grief" style outrage.

Maybe I'm more sympathetic than you because I have known children who do really struggle for various reasons.

Because you can't take a dog to a toilet and sit it on the pot! People don't take their dogs into car parks to do it! Would you love getting out of your car to find piss splashing up your legs!

The question was I unreasonable in letting my child pee in the carpark because she was desperate?

the answer would be yes you should have run her to the loo or no, it was safer to let her pee in the carpark than pee in the supermarket.

some people think it was unsanitary and so no matter what, since the loos were close she should have told her to hold it and take the risk. Others think if the child was desperate then she was ok to pee there and then.

whether or not she had asked her child beforehand, whilst a useful learning issue for the future, was completely irrelevant to the issue she had at that particular moment.

I never knew that MN was so uptight about something so insignificant.
DS used to love an el fresco piss.

No I'm not that precious or sad. I have a life to live 🙄

YABU and disgusting.

I agree. Seems obvious to me but some don't seem to understand.

Classy.

I don't understand why she didn't go to the loo before you left the supermarket if she was that desperate.

Why didn't she tell you she needed a wee while you were buying three bags full of groceries?

Why didn't you ask her if she needed a wee before you left, if she can't hold it in for long?

You’re supposed to teach your children that they can’t always get what they want. As an adult you hold it in and can’t go outside in public - so why are you enforcing that children can? You’re not in the middle of nowhere, she’s right there are literally toilets inside.

I was trying to explain this to @GleisZwei earlier but she/ he doesn't understand.