Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

One is an accident and one is deliberate.

One is child-led and the other adult-led.

Those are the two key differences.

Taught

huh? Why would she want to be directed to a place where people freely piss in public, the woman and 84% of the people think it’s disgusting!
OR is your advice for the OP and her daughter and the 16% who think it’s okay, cos THAT would make more sense!

I have no problem with young children weeing in car parks but would have a problem with a man weeing in public. I have been known to wee in fields when walking my dog and I’m sure some of those showing outrage on this thread probably have too.

I think you are not being unreasonable at all.

If a child is at bursting point you can either deliberately stand there and watch them wet themselves or deliberately prevent it. So you’re right. I know what I would do.

Its a kiddie having a wee outside.
Nobody died

Absolutely, you can say 'yes, you can wee in the carpark' or 'No! come on quick, back inside to the toilet'.

Surely we all know what we'd do? Take the child to the toilet, right?

Yes, you can deliberately prevent it by bringing the child to the bathroom when they first say it rather than let them get to a point of bursting while you faff around putting bags into the car.

Cross Post @NuffSaidSam - 💯 agree!

Then you need to manage it. Pretty gross

No, I’m sorry but like you keep saying ‘she’s six’. Exactly, she’s 6 and providing she has no medical issues, a 6 year old isn’t little enough to need to wee next to the car. Would I have said something like the other woman did, no, would I have given it another thought afterwards? No, but she didn’t like it, she was right not to and you were in the wrong.

Bursting point meaning toilet is no longer an option so no I wasn’t on about running to the toilet. I meant quickly letting them do it outside. Hope that helps with any confusion.

Same reply applies to you too. 😊

No one dies when a pissed up man or woman does it either but it’s still grim.

Sorry, I haven't read all the 36 pages but I really wanted to say that as a child, you dont know if something is ok or not and do whatever you are advised by your mum. For a grown adult to stop and shout is really damaging, I still remember people shouting at my parents for things like this. I am not personally fussed about the pee either way but I wish adults would be a little more mindful of how lasting their words can be. I think the mum has had a hard time on here because she didn't realise that it would go this way and while it may irritate some, its quite a jump to calling someone weird.

Ehh I let my 6 year old wee in a park behind a tree recently. Car park, not ideal but the wee police need to get a grip.

Ahh you're one of those. Yes, that does clear up any confusion.

Try and encourage your child to use the toilet. It's the decent thing to do.

And my point also stands! You bring the child to the bathroom when they first say it, not when they're bursting!
I completely understand what bursting means.... You're still wrong.

I'm an old lady and I agree with you

It's not ideal but not worth shouting or sneering over. It doesn't matter how much anyone 'expects' of children, sometimes they're not going to match up to it.

She waits for and uses the toilet just fine, thanks. And I’m sure OP’s DD does too.

BUT if we were ever caught short and the toilet is clearly not going to be reached in time, I’m just saying I’d allow her to do what OP’s DD did rather than wet herself. So yes I guess I am one of those.

Oh OP you've just subjected yourself to loads of comments by carbon copies of that woman!!!

It's a life lesson: never ask for validation from Mumsnet.

That's good to hear. I'm not sure about the OP's DD though. Any child who can hold it/is toileting normally wouldn't have got into this situation when a toilet is nearby. Anyone parenting appropriately would have insisted on using the toilet not the floor of the carpark.

Obviously different if they were miles from any toilets and had been for a while, but that wasn't the case here and that's why the lady commented, quite rightly, that there were toilets a very short distance away.

My daughter went through a phase where she wouldn't tell you she needed until the very last minute. She would sit on the floor and rock because she was so bursting and didn't feel she could walk. We did manage to get her to the toilet each time but it was a job to get her to understand that she needed to go well before it reached that point. If she hadn't managed to get to the toilet we would have had to make do.

Thinking about my local supermarket's car park and where the toilets are located I may have made the same call as the OP. I don't think anyone deserves some of the stuff that has been said on here for it! A very young kid peeing is way down the list of offensive body functions in public.

Ok but life isn’t perfect is it and sometimes you can’t get to a toilet as soon as they say it. Yes it can happen that fast so just because OP’s dd was in a supermarket car park doesn’t mean they would have definitely made it to the toilet in time.

Are most people objecting because of the wee on the floor or the slight lack of dignity? I can understand the latter I suppose but dogs and other animals wee everywhere...even on your car wheels!! Imagine that!