Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

Holy Lord, what a brutal post

If I saw a 6 year old in this situation I’d have the decency to look away.

Nasty

Firstly, witches are an actual group of people, not an insult for you to throw around. Secondly, not wanting a 6 year old girl to have to urinate in a public car park, when there are toilets nearby, is a good thing. The child deserves better and her mum really needs to realise that. HTH

So would I, but I still wonder if there wasn't a better option for the poor child.

The 16% have a bit of empathy and self awareness enough to know that people make mistakes.
The OP knew she f ed up. She needed a bit of a hand hold after being shouted out in a car park.

Thank you and thank God for common sense

Those with empathy actually don't want the poor child to have to urinate in public. 🫣

Right but hindsight that the OP could have checked that she needed to go beforehand is not relevant

she was asking about the very specific situation . Her daughter was bursting and might not have made the loo. Should she have let her go in the carpark or risk taking her back to the supermarket and wet herself on the way? That was the dilemma she had. I personally would have let her go in the carpark as it was the lesser of 2 evils as she might have wet herself in the supermarket which I’d say was far worse. I appreciate others would have taken the risk. The issue of whether the OP should check with the daughter more is not relevant.

It is completely relevant, because if she checked each time they pass the loo, and maybe even gently encouraged her, the poor child wouldn't have to urinate in a car park. OP needs to learn from this, even if she cannot undo what's already happened.

Can't help but think what if she needed a poo?

You asked if it’s unreasonable to let your child wee in a supermarket car park. In my opinion it is. The lady addressed it and this is a learning opportunity for you and your child. I would sit my daughter down and explain that while she was desperate, she needs to learn to vocalise her needs sooner. We don’t go from not needing to wee at all to absolutely desperate unless there’s a medical need. Maybe you should take your daughter to the GP - what happens in school when she’s desperate? My children would genuinely never ask to wee outdoors, I’ve always regularly checked if they need a toilet when near a toilet. There’s a lesson here for you as well mum.

who is the say she doesn’t check often? I checked often with my kids but they still would be annoying and suddenly decide they needed the loo, normally on a motorway when we’d just passed a services. Young children at age 6 are not completely rational. They can be great 99% of the time but 1% they do things an adult wouldnt do. This was the 1%

You need a Pottete from Boots to keep in the car boot.

Do you know what medical support you get for a 6 year old with urgency when urinating? Absolutely bugger all because it's entirely normal for a 6 year old to experience urgency.

I've got to ask was she asking for the toilet before you left the supermarket? As you said she'd been moaning and being difficult all day. Could you not have taken her to the toilets in the supermarket before you left with your shopping?

Or to stand in it as the next person to park in that space. Nasty

Well, I certainly wouldn't have let my DC do a 'wild one' in such a public space. Out on walks miles away from loos anywhere, then yes.

However.

Shouting the odds at a stranger's kid is far more anti-social behaviour than a 6-YO having a wee in the car park.

I always think that posters who put a lot of backfill into the start of their story know in their heart that they were being unreasonable…
in a rush
walked all the way to the car
struggling with three large bags
Dd moaning and being difficult
Come on OP, you let you child wee next to the car…ie out in public, on the ground where someone else might walk or park their car. It’s disgusting. I can well imagine that the lady walking past spoke in ‘not a very nice way’, she was responding to not a very nice situation.

You know it wasn’t ideal. And the lady told you. Which you knew, so you were defensive.

But now you know not to leave the shop without asking DD does she want a wee before you go to the car.

so you would have been super sympathetic with the OP if she has done what everyone else has said and rushed her daughter to the loos, not made it and the girl has wet herself all over the supermarket floor? That was her dilemma.

Why didn't you take her to the toilets inside the supermarket? Did she not mention she needed the toilet earlier? Frankly I agree with the woman, take your daughter back in with bags if necessary. It's quite disgusting when you've just walked past toilets to let her urinate in the car park.

I suppose I can see both sides. Occasionally, there's an unexpected emergency with a child, and 'when you've got to go, you've got to go'; and people shouldn't shout about it. On the other hand, weeing in public isn't the done thing, and by 6, assuming that she doesn't have an unusual medical condition, she should be able to tell you in time, and hold it in until she gets to the loo. After all, what does she do at school?

The child would not suddenly be that desperate if she'd checked a minute or two ago on the way out, unless there's some medical issue.

I find this quite unusual, my son is 6 and I know lots of 6 year olds, and they're all pretty good (albeit not as good as adults), at knowing when they need a wee and holding it till they get to the nearest toilet (within reason). If we were nowhere near a toilet and my son was desperate, of course I'd rather him go in public the wet himself, but I can't remember the last time that happened (lots of reminding him to go before we leave the house/leave school).

Is it something you're concerned about? Have you though about getting her checked over?