Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

Mumsnet once piled on a poor 9 month pregnant woman who soaked herself because the school and shop refused access to their toilets....

She witnessed it. At that point it became her business.

At 3 or 4 years beyond potty training age, I’d expect a child to either be able to hold it long enough to get to a toilet and/or be aware enough to go before they get to the stage of ‘desperation’

I’m assuming from her asking, that this is not the first time she’s been allowed to wee next to the car out in the open like that?

I don’t think the woman should have shouted, no. But this is a situation that shouldn’t have been allowed to happen. If you know she struggles holding it, and physical/mental issues have been ruled out- then you’ll need to do more preventative wees until she’s got a better handle on it.

Did she say she needed to go before you left the supermarket or did it come on suddenly. Why was she being difficult and moaning all day.

A 6 year old isn’t really a small child though - why not just get her to go for a try when you’re passing the loo

How is that the case when she saw you? How was she 'mean' telling you a fact...
It's everyone's business if it's in public view.

If she’s struggling, why don’t you take the initiative to get a porta potty? I’m sure it’s public disorder to pee in public. Regardless if your DD is 6, you’re an adult that needs to raise your standards.

Would your 6 year old piss in the playground if she couldn't make it into the school toilets?

Be honest OP. She'd been a bit whiny, you were incredibly lazy and couldn't be bothered to go back to the shop and instead decided to let her wee in what is clearly a busy car park as you were immediately shouted at.

OP why is it OK for a six year old to piss in a car park but not an elderly person with incontinence problems? Either it's OK for people to piss in public places or not. Age is irrelevant unless maybe it's a toddler potty training.

Not unkind, totally fair.
OP's daughter is 6, not a toddler who's being potty trained and can't hold it.
All this... oh she's only 6! That's plenty old enough to hold it, unless you're forcing her to hold it for way longer than appropriate.

She's not that small!!! Too old to be pissing in a public car park 🙄

If anything like mine then yes she would just wet herself. Whilst lots of children don't have an issue it's not that unusual that some do and all those saying see a doctor, the doctors reiterate that it's actually not that uncommon for urgency and not picking up the brain signals until too late. My (older than 6 years old) is fully toilet trained but can't always make it in time, often daily, it's not the same thing as being toilet trained.

Not quite. Mumsnet once told a pregnant woman it would be ridiculous to complain to Co-op HQ that a staff member wouldn't give her access to the employee-only toilets.

I let my 2 year old discretely pee behind a rock where seemingly nobody was on a beach with no toilet and a man who noticed ripped into me and said how it was not ok for her to do that.

It isn’t ideal. At 6 she probably shouldn’t be thinking this is OK to do. I really can’t get worked up about it. Most dog owners would let their dog owners wee absolutely anywhere including car parks.

Dogs wee and poop every where and nobody says a word , a child caught short gets a lecture ….

The lady who saw your 6 year old daughter urinating in a public car park was absolutely right to challenge you about it.
Have you so little respect for your child’s dignity and privacy that you couldn’t be bothered to bring her back to the bathroom in the shopping centre?

Snap!

Personally I wouldn’t care at all . I just drive by a lay-by on a road and an Amazon guy was peeing there 🤷🏻‍♀️.
This being said if she has a sensitive bladder there are carry potty’s you can have in the car with absorbent tissue that you simply put on a bad after . I hit done for our European drive holiday in case my 3 year old needed a wee .

No, still grim. No one wants to walk in your child's piss.

Every time we went out as children my dad insisted we all went to the loo!

I dis the same with my children and it avoided any ‘desperate foe the loo’ situations.

I think it’s unfair on a six year old to have to pee in a car park and not very nice for other shoppers who park in the space afterwards.

You need to be aware when your daughter has eaten and drink as to how long afterwards she will need to go to the toilet.

I have been in this situation. Exactly the same. Word for word in fact. I was the ‘mean’ old lady. Though to be fair I was about 30. It’s digusting and rank to let your child pee in a supermarket car park. Different if there isn’t toilets 100 yards away but supermarkets all have toilets.

Dogs greet each other by sniffing each others bums, you shouldn't let your DC do that either.

Dogs and kids are different it turns out!