DH is annoyed because I didn't call him while I was away overnight for family funeral.

[NestEmptying]

AIBU here. Should I have called?
I drove my parents to a family funeral yesterday in Wales, DH didn't know the relative so didn't come - that was fine I didn't expect him to. The journey was about 5 hrs and we went straight into the service when we arrived, then the wake. Then there was a family dinner in the evening and we stayed over.
I posted a pic of the hotel room about 8pm on the immediate family WhatsApp. DS and DD (who are adults) answered. DH didn't answer but I assumed he had seen or the kids would have told him.
He hadn't seen. I got home just now and he said he didn't know if I was dead or not and that it's not normal not to ring your spouse if you're away.
He's really cross but I don't think I did anything wrong. I sent a message. He was at work today with no phone so I couldn't ring him this morning and then I was driving back.

I had quite an emotional couple of days, seeing family members and talking about the relative. It was full of love and humour and Welshness. Now I have come back to an atmosphere. I don't think I am wrong but should I apologise?

I’d say the same if the sexes were reversed so any so called misandry is imagined

He is being unreasonable. If he was worried he could have messaged you but he didn't. Why is it on you to second guess his worries, especially when you were at a funeral. I love my husband to bits but when I'm away for work or for pleasure I don't message husband unless I want or need to talk to him. Wouldn't cross my mind.

Blimey. Is he controlling or just very needy? Only you will know. You were at a funeral. You posted in the family chat. He could have messaged you if he was worried (although why he would be worried is 🤨 )
There would be no apology from me, in fact he should now be apologetic for putting you under extra pressure when you were busy with important other commitments

what?
a - yes, but I wouldn't expect them to look at it until they'd stopped! what an utterly weird question. Usually most people don't know where the person they are messaging is when they send the message, or even try to ring them! It's on the recipient to only respond when safe to do so.

b - she was only driving for a comparatively short part of her day. The rest of the time she was at the funeral, wake, hotel, etc. If anything driving would have been the least likely time for him to try to contact her because he would have known she wouldn't be able to answer and it was at the start of the day! Why on earth would he have sent a 'did you get there okay?' message ten minutes after he'd waved her goodbye? By his own argument he would only have started getting worried AFTER the time he expected her to have arrived.

I do wonder how some people manage daily life if they apparently don't think it's appropriate to contact someone unless you KNOW they're sitting safely in a chair in their living room. How do you ever contact someone for the first time - an estate agent/cleaner/job applicant?

I GUARANTEE that if this had the sexes reversed
"AIBU? My DH went to a work conference yesterday and stayed overnight. He sent 1 message in the family group chat when he was in his hotel room but I didn't see it. Was I unreasonable to be annoyed at him for not contacting me the whole time he was away? I was worried sick something might have happened to him!"

the posters would all be telling her to 'get a grip' 'Can't you go a day without speaking to him?' 'HE WAS AT WORK!' 'He DID contact you, it's not his fault you didn't see it!' 'Why didn't you call him if you were so worried?'

Me and dp drop each other a text when we leave and arrive at our destination, as we both work nationally. Just a 'leaving' and 'arrived' text, just so we know each other is safe.

But not everyone's lives revolve around a partner like a lovesick teenager. Totally understand if the partner is suffering from mental health problems etc though.