DH is annoyed because I didn't call him while I was away overnight for family funeral.

[NestEmptying]

AIBU here. Should I have called?
I drove my parents to a family funeral yesterday in Wales, DH didn't know the relative so didn't come - that was fine I didn't expect him to. The journey was about 5 hrs and we went straight into the service when we arrived, then the wake. Then there was a family dinner in the evening and we stayed over.
I posted a pic of the hotel room about 8pm on the immediate family WhatsApp. DS and DD (who are adults) answered. DH didn't answer but I assumed he had seen or the kids would have told him.
He hadn't seen. I got home just now and he said he didn't know if I was dead or not and that it's not normal not to ring your spouse if you're away.
He's really cross but I don't think I did anything wrong. I sent a message. He was at work today with no phone so I couldn't ring him this morning and then I was driving back.

I had quite an emotional couple of days, seeing family members and talking about the relative. It was full of love and humour and Welshness. Now I have come back to an atmosphere. I don't think I am wrong but should I apologise?

It’s normal for you but not for everyone. I’m nearly 60 and can’t think of a time I’ve ever messaged anyone just to say I’ve arrived. It’s driving on a motorway not trekking through the rainforest.

Unless I had anything digits to discuss I don’t think I’d contact a partner if I was away the one day.

Why?

I’m 61, I always have 🤷‍♀️ UK motorways are probably a bloody sight (site/cite?) more dangerous than rain forests, tbf.
My husband at 66 always texts too, after long drives or flights, as do our adult kids.

Because it’s considerate? Why would you not?

Does his phone not work? He could have rung her or her messaged her to check if he was genuinely concerned which he quite clearly was not.

And that’s normal for your family but as this thread proves, everyone is different.

I still think the OP’s partner is being pathetic and selfish regardless

Because she was at a funeral and with family. Can he not survive a day without her?

Because communication is key in any relationship. It shows you are mindful of their concerns

Big baby making it all about himself. You were at a family funeral, not on a jolly. And if he was concerned he could have rung you. Sounds like a twit.

Fair enough, I don’t.

He was so worried but couldn’t send a text himself? He’s just being a controlling arse in my opinion.

I’m sure he can. He was likely concerned for her safety. If my husband was driving for 5 hours to the funeral of a loved one, I would be concerned that his mind might not be on driving. Because I love him.

And was he mindful of her?

some of these comments are insane
talk about internalised misogyny

do phones not work both ways? he can't have been THAT worried about OP dead on the side of the road if he couldn't spare 2 seconds to message her himself.

Given he managed to miss the photo on the family chat, who is to say he would have even seen a message had she contacted him directly?

apart from anything else it's ridiculous to expect the person who has suffered the bereavement, was DRIVING at then at a funeral to be the one to be in charge of prioritising male ego initiating contact!

Do you message loved ones when you know they are driving? Pretty dangerous.

Agree. It’s a stick to beat her with not genuine concern.

Hes a selfish prick imo

Why is it only the OP, who was driving a long-distance and attending a funeral, who is expected to be mindful?

Pretty dangerous to be driving and not to have your phone on silent or DND.

You don’t know this person. How can you possibly say that?
The misandry here is getting silly lately.

Because it's common decency to at least text on arrival. Yes my husband would have messaged me to see if I was ok too but perhaps he was mindful of her being in the funeral at that point

Funerals are often full on and exhausting.

Assuming he is on the family chat- you let him know you got there.

Even if you forgot...he just needed to text you and ask you. You were busy.

Uanbu

Agree. Some very odd, frankly cold, opinions here.

Maybe she had more important things on her mind than pacifying a grown man who couldn't even be arsed to pick up the phone himself.

You could say he should be texting you anyway to check you were OK at the funeral.

OP was attending a funeral.

The "odd" responses are from those who expect her to pacify her adult husband rather than, y'know, support her parents and family who were mourning a relative.