Back to school skinnies - what to say

[broadly]

Private school (relevant as this relatively is expensive) - mums arriving back significantly smaller than they were before the summer.

Do I say anything? Like they look great? Or just ignore it. None of them are really good enough friends to openly ask about WLI, and I wouldn't ask how. But just to acknowledge?

Just say ‘you look fabulous, did you have a good summer?’ and don’t mention weight.

Why on earth would you feel you needed to comment at all?!
just ‘nice to see you,’ (if it is and if you normally would speak to them), ‘how was your summer?’

"Nice to see you, did you have a good summer. "

It's pretty simple. Don't comment on other people's weight.

Why do people comment on other peoples weight at all?

Why do you need to comment on their bodies? I've never come across this with any school parents?!
Mind you, mine went to state school. Maybe it's just a private school thing?

Why would you need to anything other than hello and ask if they had a good break or general stuff, why does this place want to complicate things?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love Mumsnet today!

Is it some sort of invasion?

Either way, it's very funny.

I personally bloody love it if someone says I’m looking slim. But I’d never say it to anyone other than a close friend, as I know people are sensitive sometimes.

Do you often ask people what medication they're on? Assuming no then it's inappropriate to ask them if they're on prescription medication for weight loss.
If they're your mates can't you just say you look nice, if they look nice?! Most people are happy to hear that. There's never any need to mention someone's weight.

Nothing. Say nothing

I’ve lost 4st (on Mounjaro) and I hate it when people mention it.

They say “ you’ve lost weight” -no shit!? Have I?

was I not good enough when I was heavier? Is it something to be celebrated?

And what do you expect them to say in return? I never know.

The best thing to say is did you have a good summer? Or how are you?

at a push - “ you look well” which is generally a euphemism for “you have lost weight”

my mantra is never comment on a persons appearance except very close friends and family. Who would know I was in Mounjaro and how I was feeling.

Im very slim and absolutely hate it when people comment about my weight.

Just say alright Susan you cut down on the cakes over summer love?

🙄

I must be weird. Someone described me as ‘skinny as a rake’ this week (to his wife, she then told me). I was thrilled. 😂

I think it depends. I’ve lost 8 stone on wli, I was morbidly obese before and now almost a healthy weight. It’s been hard work and I love it when people say how good I’m looking! But they tend to be friends who never criticised my weight before and say things like I look really healthy or glowing but I know the weight loss has been the cause of that.
if they are just school gate mums who you exchange hello with then maybe just a you look great would be fine.

Why is the expensive private school relevant?

This! I actually don't mind some people commenting on my weight but I absolutely hate it if they can't be arsed to talk to me most of the time and lead with it

Presumably so that we know all the “back to school skinnies” have definitely been on Mounjaro, because they can afford it.

I was always told not to comment on people's bodies or weight. There's no need. You can ask how their kids are getting on and how they're feeling about going back to school instead. I'd hate if a school mum (or anyone) randomly commented on my weight and I wouldn't know what to say to it at all.

There is absolutely zero reason to comment on their weight. Would you if they had gained?
Looking a bit porky after the summer Jane.

Are you expected to comment? Is that the norm with the school mums?

I would comment for a friend 'oh wow you look amazing'. Not an aquantance.

Probably all been on the jabs but you definitely don't need to say anything.

I’m a private school mum and I’ve lost weight, not just over the summer but in general. Over a year and a half or so, so very slowly. But some people have started commenting on it. It’s around 3 stone.

anyway, I don’t like it. I don’t think it’s necessary unless you know someone really well. Even then, it’s just such boring chat. Is that really all we talk about ? How someone looks ?

when I notice someone has lost weight, I don’t comment on it. My tennis coach did mention I had lost weight the other day and I replied that so had he. But I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.

I feel like it’s weak spot I don’t want to discuss with anyone except my husband to be honest. It’s just not something I ever talk about to anyone else. It’s very private.

however, if you did mention it to me, I would know you meant it in a nice way and wouldn’t hold it against you. I would just prefer it wasn’t talked about. Or if I wanted to talk about it, I may mention it myself in some way.

I can’t even imagine why you’d feel the need to comment on their weight.

State school here and I noticed the same. I would never ever comment on anyone else’s body and sadly, I wouldn’t have many positives to say if prompted. Some of the mums look….haunted by something. Not a good look so I’ll be keeping my mouth closed.