Back to school skinnies - what to say

[broadly]

Private school (relevant as this relatively is expensive) - mums arriving back significantly smaller than they were before the summer.

Do I say anything? Like they look great? Or just ignore it. None of them are really good enough friends to openly ask about WLI, and I wouldn't ask how. But just to acknowledge?

Why do you feel the need to say anything about someone's appearance?

I mean if you are going to go up to Angela and say 'Looking trim Ang, been hitting the Mounjaro?' are you equally going to shout over to Lydia ' Wow youv'e packed on the pounds over the hols Lyds, cake on special at Waitrose was it ?'

"Hiya Sharon nice to see you, here we are, back to the same old shite" is all that's needed here.

Ah, another thread to invite judgement on people using WLI. It’s been what, 24hrs? Yes, all fat people are lazy bastards/eat less move more etc. We get it.

FWIW, you say nothing at all. They may have used WLI or they may be very unwell. I would hate it if anyone commented on my weight.

The ‘ was I not good enough when I was heavier ‘ really resonates.

it’s not what they mean but it just kind of feels that way.

or like they’re pointing out that it was clear you needed to lose weight. Like ‘ congrats on the weight loss ! ‘.. as weight loss is always a good thing, I was bad before ?

it’s stilly but it’s just how it feels. It’s not how people mean it.

but equally, you wouldn’t point out if some had had a nose job or their lips filled up would.

Just adding to the general consensus of don’t say anything, absolutely no need!
Not sure of the relevance of private school is??

I remember when I was in my teens and twenties, it was really normal to talk about it. Chat about it was everywhere.

it’s not unusual for people to feel the need to comment, it used to be completely normal.

If just acquaintances I wouldn't comment on weight, just keep it to small talk "love your jeans, did you have a good summer?, up to anything this weekend? etc". If a friend I'd say "you look lovely! So slim!" or similar without asking how they did it or anything. Not meant that they didn't look lovely before but assuming that they wanted to lose weight and felt they looked better.

The only time you should comment on someone's weight is if the person is a very close friend and they've ask your opinion or you're seriously worried about said close friend. Everyone else, you never ever mention their weight ever.

My MIL used to comment on my weight and my DH's weight pretty much every time she saw us. It was fucking awful and I hated her for it. DH made her stop but I still to this day don't understand why she did it.

🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Really, OP. If someone looks good, just say that and move along. Or say nothing at all.

You look great/well/healthy is all that’s needed.

its never appropriate to ask people about medication- even if you are all dripping rich.

Wasn’t that really dull? I’m glad it’s generally considered bad manners to comment now, because how much physical space someone takes up on the planet is usually the least interesting thing about them, in my opinion.

@Chobbyi completely agree with you. I am so happy it’s not the same as it was. But I just think some people have not caught up to the change and think it’s still acceptable to mention it.

That might be because young people can be a bit rude and its usually accepted they can often speak before engaging their filter.

I’ve lost 5st5lbs and now weight 8st8, to be very specific. I rarely do the school run, but when I do I feel like people are almost running at me to comment on my weight loss. Or if not they are so obviously noticing and speculating. I am considering getting a T-shirt printed to wear with a pair of tiny gym shorts that reads “yep, Mounjaro. 5 and a half stone. Not too much baggy skin. Yes it was worth it. No im not planning to come off. Yes it is expensive but we are saving as we’ve chosen to educate in this free establishment.”

@megiferin my circle it was everyone back then. Young or old. People loves talking about it. But there’s been a huge shift thankfully !

I remember someone saying to my mum that she'd lost weight and she was like
Yes, I have cancer.

It's literally none of your business.

Do we comment on the dads too? Asking for a friend.

No need to mention anyone's appearance at all. I hate it if I've lost weight and someone feels the need to comment. Stay in your lane!

Bor
dom now precious little darling has gone back to school
🤣🤣🤣

“Jesus Christ Linda, where’s the rest of you?” Would suffice.

Love it! 😅😅

You don’t comment.

There are lots of possible causes for weight loss or weight gain- stress, cancer, diet.

Comments (even if well intentioned) can be very upsetting.

Why on earth would your go to on weightloss be that they must be using wli's?

And why the holy hell would you feel that making any sort of comment is your right or appropriate?

FML people are ludicrous.

The only appropriate comment is "Hi Susan. Hope you had a good summer"

FYI cancer can cause rapid weight loss...had that occurred to your judgemental self?

Turns out you can't buy good manners I see!

I've lost a ton of weight with WLI and at the gym and I've spent all year pissed off that no one has noticed 😂

On the other hand, I've worked with eating disorders, and it's the worst thing to say to someone. And unless you actually know, you could offend them. Or they could be ill...