Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

[Katee91]

I work a stressful but very (financially) rewarding job - comfortably 6 figures with generous bonuses. My DH out earns me and I know we are very fortunate in that respect.

I’m attempting to turn a hobby/passion into a small side business and have spoken to various friends about it.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money. That isn’t the motivating factor though, it’s for enjoyment and linked to my passion.

AIBU to feel a bit upset at their outlook with this? Even after I explain my reasons they still turn it back to money.

I don’t think it’s jealousy as my DH suggested, but I just feel a bit deflated and that my friends should be supporting me..

Depends which six figures they are!

Would they say the same thing about your DH if he got involved in teaching at a local football club in his spare time.. Or took up triathlons for the prize money (if there is any. I don't know).

If you want to spend more time doing your hobby and getting a return for it.. why not. Why are you running it by them all if they are so critical?

Are they judgy about other things you've shared with them? Who cares what they think.

Stop mentioning it to them from now on and just get on with it..be interesting to see if they are still curious then wouldn't it? if it works out brilliant, if not find something else to do. You don't need their permission to do what you want to do.

Judgey people are not really friends.

I might not be very excited if a friend said they wanted to start a small side business. I'd be interested, and I'd ask questions about why, long term plans, and so on, and it sounds as this is how your friends have responded. I'd be happy for you. But not excited.

I can only see two reasons why you’d try to make your hobby into a business - either you want more money (which is the issue your friends are questioning) or it’s a long term plan for a way out of your current job/career. If it’s the latter then explain that to your friends, otherwise why do you need to turn it into a business rather than just enjoy it as a hobby?

Most people who have side jobs do so because they need the extra money. If that's your friends' understanding of side jobs, then they'll find it confusing that you're doing it. Most people who are financially very stable tend to choose to work less, rather than more.

I think you're reading too much into their comment.

Hun, neither you nor I know that not to be fact.
And I also beg to differ, I have come across an awful lot of very jealous witches in my life….does mentioning it strike a nerve with you?

It’s extremely common for women to be jealous of their ‘friends’ who achieve more than them or have more than them.

In the OPs case she seems to have achieved more than her ‘friends’ and her motivation / drive / intelligence is pushing her to achieve even more which possibly leaves her ‘friends’ feeling a bit inadequate.

Maybe have a think about why you need to involve your friends op? You don’t need their blessing, permission, or approval. Just play your cards close to your chest and carry on. Good luck 💐

Fucks sake.

Or that they don't think you're cut out to be a business woman.

Most of what you posted in the above is utter nonsense, the OP out earns all in her ‘friends’ so is obviously an intelligent business woman.

Also why on earth would discourage a financially well off woman from trying something like this, it’s hardly like she is taking a big risk, she doesn’t even need the money!

Why should she ‘toughen up or forget about it’ if she is enjoying it, she is not reliant on the money!

Followed by today’s episode of “snidey jealous poster”…

I wish we still had the laugh emoji.

A few yers back my sister once made a snippy remark about my "little" hobby and I sent her a screen shot of my Paypal account. I had made more in a wreek than she had in a month at a full time job. I dont even discuss my financial affairs with my closest relations nowdays. They know I have a side hustle (Im retired) but never ask me about it and I dont enlighten them. They probably think Ive given it up.

I would encourage you to continue with your side hustle if it gives you pleasure. Perhaps keep your progress to yourself and dont discuss it with your friends and family. Jealousy is a terrible thing.

Grow up and ditch the chip on your shoulder. Jealousy is not a good look

I think they are good friends questioning your motivations @Katee91. My DH wanted to make a small business of a passion of his and I told him to please not do this despite the fact that we don't have close to your income. My reasoning was that he's already stressed about his job and he needs his free time to relax and spend quality time with his family. If his job was a cool one without pressure I would have told him to go for it. But as things are he would only wind up having a burnout or a heart attack.

Isn't this probably because they think if it's a hobby why does it need to be turned into a business as you have money?

Just one thought. If you are very stressed by your work could it be that they wonder why you would reduce your free time further by doing the activity, they dont understand how it actually brings you joy?

I am not sure what is behind this - I would ignore them and do as you want. Do you think they view you as greedy / money obsessed for wanting to monetise your hobby?

If they are otherwise good friends it seems likely they just don’t understand your motivation and can’t really put themselves in a place where pursuing a hobby as a business would seem like a good idea. I’m not sure why that’s a big deal unless they have said things you haven’t mentioned that are derogatory in some way. What sort of support were you expecting from them?

Several people on this thread have pointed out common pitfalls of doing so. I’m always hesitant to encourage a friend to go into business unless it’s already their passion and I’d be concerned about you turning something you love into a chore. That doesn’t mean I’d try and stop you, or wouldn’t turn up to your grand opening or something.

You could donate the money you make from your side hustle to your local cat rescue.Then everyone is happy and it’s doing some good.

Why not just enjoy it as a hobby

If I had a friend in your position, then firstly unless I was also interested in your hobby, I'd probably find it not very interesting.
I'd listen to you a bit on it, but I wouldn't be interested enough for it to be dominating conversation.
For example I know someone who does glass forming. I find it quite interesting when he talks about the basics. If he starts getting excited about the more technical.side I don't know enough for more than the odd remark so it would be a monologue I don't really follow. So pretty boring for me.

I would wonder why it's important for you to make money rather than enjoy doing it. I probably wouldn't say that, but I would feel a bit bemused. If you're just trying to sell off a few things to find the hobby, okay, but it sounds like you're trying to make it a viable business. Realistically that will take a lot of time away from other things, like your hobby, and add an element of pressure. Both of those things, to me, would make the hobby much less interesting.

And lastly, I'd be concerned that you were eyeing up me as someone to buy. If it wasn't something I wanted then I don't want to find a friendship marred by expectation that I would support the business by parting with my money.

So really, whereas I'd be happy if my friend was enjoying it but wouldn't want to hear it to become an issue in our friendship.

Why tell people you've been on so many holidays. It just attracts jealously

Friend of mine in the legal profession, fell into a hobby which became a passion during maternity leave. She then had another baby, the hobby grew. Her Instagram account flourished people started seeking her out. Now she's hiring a manager to grow the business further. She's very talented much to her surprise and others in the family.

It makes her happy.

Maybe because you already have a stressful job then they can't see the point of making more work for yourself? I wouldn't envy someone with a high earning stressful job. My job is stressful at times but mostly fulfilling but I wouldn't add to that stress. Either they can't see your reasoning or are concerned about your wellbeing.

They sound jealous ignore them.