Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

[Katee91]

I work a stressful but very (financially) rewarding job - comfortably 6 figures with generous bonuses. My DH out earns me and I know we are very fortunate in that respect.

I’m attempting to turn a hobby/passion into a small side business and have spoken to various friends about it.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money. That isn’t the motivating factor though, it’s for enjoyment and linked to my passion.

AIBU to feel a bit upset at their outlook with this? Even after I explain my reasons they still turn it back to money.

I don’t think it’s jealousy as my DH suggested, but I just feel a bit deflated and that my friends should be supporting me..

Don't fall into the trap of caring what other people think of you.

I think it’s an obvious question to ask.

Will the side job include asking them to buy products related to the side job?

Are you sure they're not just surprised that you want to add more work on top of your already stressful job?

I'd act surprised if someone of my friends with already stressful jobs & full lives decided to start an Etsy basket weaving shop or whatever.

Maybe they weren’t actually judging but just came across wrong? Like maybe they thought it would be a bit much for you if your main job is quite a lot (which it may well be if you’re earning that much) and they said it in the wrong way?

Are you confusing friendship with uncritical admiration? It’s a perfectly reasonable question to pose, why, if you have a stressful job and are not in any need of extra money, you would try to monetise a hobby rather than simply treating it as a relaxing leisure pursuit.

Is it because they think you already have a full plate & possibly moan or let off steam to them about how busy you are juggling everything, currently? And they are thinking why why why is she taking on something more when she is ‘struggling’ already with the responsibilities she has?

I have a friend like this…

Enjoy your hobby & turning it into a side business. I know a couple of GP & consultants locally who have turned their baking skills into a small sideline business without taking over their jobs, for them it's a release from the stress of medicine which they all still enjoy & maybe the balance is why. Forget what others think, shame your friends cant be more supportive.

My advice would be to focus on building a community around your side business. Connect with others turning their hobby into a business or doing more of what they love. No shame in it whatsoever! Very few of my family or friends are interested in my business and I’ve been doing this for 20 years. You get used to compartmentalising stuff. And you’ll find more joy in it if they’re not passing judgement! Don’t let their negativity bring you down. And fuck anyone who suggests this is a humble brag. You’re clearly very bright and successful. If you want to make a success of something else, go for it!

I think it’s a legitimate question. I trained as a yoga teacher and started teaching but quickly decided it was way too much hassle for the £ and I’d rather just do yoga for myself and focus on my growing my lucrative career for money. I wish someone had pointed this out to me before I’d done the teacher training.

I might wonder why a very wealthy friend would want to monetise a hobby. If you don't need more money, why not just do it because you enjoy it? That's not a judgemental remark, it's genuine puzzlement. I would think the added hassle of monetising would take away from the enjoyment.

I was just about to write a very similar thing! Some people do this, maybe without really noticing.

Does this monetised hobby involve your friends purchasing or attending things? If not can’t see their issue

I'd see it more as being concerned about how you are spending your time and maintaining a work/life balance. it is unusual for people to work 2 jobs if they have sufficient income to live comfortably. Most people would instead just focus on enjoying their hobbies and volunteering if they felt a need for something else in their life.

Maybe they are concerned that you or DH might be about to lose your job or you are planning to divorce.

All you can do is thank them for your concern and ignore.

No. People who SAY they are high earners are ten a penny!

As others have said, humblebrag. 🙄

I've said YABU because why do you care? So they don't get it. To be honest, a lot of people wouldn't get it. I'd probably think the same if a friend was in the same position to be quite honest. But that doesn't matter, all that matters is you. You'll either prove them right or you'll prove them wrong. Just get on with it and don't waste time being upset about their opinions.

What is it
enjoy it !

I don't believe there's a single person on here who is earning £100k+. The levels of stupid on here is so high that anyone who had the intellect to earn that kind of money would have far better things to do.

It’s anonymous. Hardly much of a brag. I could say I’m sitting on £10 million due to inventing something. I mean I’m not and haven’t, but who’s to know?

Anyway society thinks it’s ok to hate the rich. Without realising that hefty net contributors like op and her DH are the ones paying ££££££ in taxes and keeping the country just about afloat.

The most pointless thread to start ever and such an obvious humble brag.

Yeah, no its not, it so rarely is jealousy.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money.

Then they're probably really kindly and subtly trying to let you know that as much as you enjoy it, you're going to make diddly squat out of it.

Or that they don't think you're cut out to be a business woman.

And considering you're so upset with them, they may have a point.

You'll have to toughen up or forget it.

Are you someone who often says how tired and busy you are? I’m not being mean- I am always exhausted and moaning to friends. If I told them I was doing a side business, even if it was something I enjoyed they would react similarly. Not because they are jealous or not good friends but because they know I’m already stretched.

I think they’re feeling pressured to buy whatever you’ll be selling as part of your side hustle OP

I totally understand your point but don’t you think it’s a real shame that anyone feels they need to be able to sell something to feel validated that they are good at it?

Feels like if you don’t need the money then why put that sort of pressure on yourself to make money for something you love to do. Makes me sad to think of people that feel that ultimately the value in it is linked to the money someone else is willing to spend on it.