Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

[Katee91]

I work a stressful but very (financially) rewarding job - comfortably 6 figures with generous bonuses. My DH out earns me and I know we are very fortunate in that respect.

I’m attempting to turn a hobby/passion into a small side business and have spoken to various friends about it.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money. That isn’t the motivating factor though, it’s for enjoyment and linked to my passion.

AIBU to feel a bit upset at their outlook with this? Even after I explain my reasons they still turn it back to money.

I don’t think it’s jealousy as my DH suggested, but I just feel a bit deflated and that my friends should be supporting me..

😨😨😨

One of the best pieces of advice I was given was, 'Don't tell your friends or family in depth if you are starting a micro business/side hustle, because they are viewing you from a different place.' You are never going to get the validation/interest/response that you need. Your friends might applaud your efforts in 5 years' time when you are a roaring success. 😁Good places for you now would be the likes of Facebook groups where you can share your interests, even small business groups. If there is a small business group in your local area, even if you are just at the idea stage, it would be worth your while seeing what they are about. You would be delighted by the support and meeting of minds there. Let us know how you get on with your venture. Best of luck and enjoy the journey! x

I think the point about enjoying your passion for what it is is a valid one.

If you really dont need the money, why bother putting yourself through the stress of trying to run it as a business? There will be times when its a chore that you have to do as you have an order, and thats when you will stop loving it and start being half arsed about it just to get the job done.

Also, if its handicrafts, cake baking or art, dont bother. It really wont make you any money!

I worked with a woman who was comparatively well-off and owned a big house with land. She used to bring eggs and apples and stuff into the office but wanted money for them. Meanwhile, everyone else, with their bog-standard gardens, if they had surplus fruit or veg, would just give them to friends and neighbours and colleagues for free.

Sometimes, people can just come across as a bit grabby.

It is an interesting question - as a PP said, why monetise it rather than just enjoy it?

Some people do enjoy business for itself though. Maybe that's OP?

They are jealous of your motivation and drive, it makes them feel bad about themselves, don’t let them get to you

It's just a sad cultural thing where everything you do must, in many people's head, be motivated by money.

What degree someone is doing is for many determined by job prospects/ salaries. Money seems to come into dating big-time, e.g. obvs one should choose the guy with the most money. So I feel like your friends might be this sort of people, that think you're taking on an additional commitment to make more money, not understanding that you can do something for love and fulfilment as well.

Just ignore them, IME friends, unless they are in the same industry, have never been particularly good at understanding work projects, and probably best to just keeo it light and social with them. If you are looking for support and someone that gets it, look to other people in the same industry.

Personal growth is normal and the fact that you have a comfortable salary shouldn't be an excuse to stop growing, develping and chasing dreams. Money's not the end goal, it's a by-product.

If you're already really stressed, they might just be concerned that setting up an additional venture would be ever more stressful.

Or maybe they are worried they'd be expected to buy your cakes, sweetie cones, 'world's best teacher' water bottles!

Could it be that you’re not as talented as you think and your business will be a flop and they’re trying to save your embarrassment? Are you going to be painting and selling amateur pet portraits or something equally as hideous?!

Get better friends! Friends should support you 100% of the time, no questions asked!

If it flops you've still got the day job to fall back on.

A passion feeds the soul, can be a way to relax. Just don't burn out doing it.

Authors start writing as a side line because they enjoy it. A friend a journalist started writing for pleasure. She was a few books in before being noticed by a TV company who then made a few of her books into movies. It wasn't mad money even then. But she's very happy.

Maybe they don’t understand why you want to turn it into a side business, rather than leave it as just your hobby. They might not mean it in a judgy way - however, of course they should support you. Good luck and hope it works out.

Oh god it’s not embroidered pet portraits is it?! Or watercolour sunsets? Or acrylic wool knitted toilet roll warmers? Or knitted toilet seat covers?!

Not really

Im not going to support you going in to selling some MLM shit. We won't talk about it.

This is so lazy.

Even the OP doesn't think it's jealousy and she actually knows these people.

'Jealous hun' isn't always the answer for everything.

I’ve always had a bit of a side hustle, stopped for a few years and im in the process of starting again, throwing more time and resources at it. BUT I have opened a new instagram account, and Etsy, and blocked anyone I know on instagram so the page is not suggested to them, and the freedom, im just getting on with it at my own pace and enjoying it.
im not sure why your friends are bothered, unless your asking them to buy your stuff or share your posts…as they say don’t mix friends with business.
Join a Facebook small business group if you want to chat to people about it, so much easier!

Is it something like painting dog portraits? That you are then going to be looking for your friends and family to buy?

If it’s along those lines I have some sympathy for your friends. It’s embarrassing and awkward to be asked to buy people’s not very good art/crochet/hamper/self published book whatever when you see your friends and immediate community as customers who should support you. We have had so many of these that set up stalls at local fetes and the like, then get upset when nothing sells.

Keep it as a hobby if you don’t need the money, or make it and give it away? I also don’t get the point and think you need to accept it.

Agree. If you'll be making your friends feel obligated to purchase from your hobby business then of course they will feel uncomfortable

Why try to turn a recreational hobby/passion into a business unless the motivation is money or status/recognition? Perhaps your friends are questioning your need for status/recognition by pointing out that you don't need the money.

your hobby is irrelevant to your salary. You are obviously hurt by their reactions maybe speak to them again and tell them how you feel.
Don't drop your ideas of your side hustle for anyone's opinions. You do what makes you happy.

Ignore them and stop worrying. Get on with creating your side business! I did that when I worked in a different field - and the side thing became one of my main things following redundancy.

I think the missing piece of backstory is that this poster just wants to show off about how rich (she says) she is.

Nothing to see here.

So you have a hobby and you’re annoyed you friends don’t thinks it wonderful 🤷🏼‍♀️

Doesn't sound like they're judging. Just sounds like they don't think you're that good at it.

Doesn't sound like they're judging. Just sounds like they don't think you're that good at it.