Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

[Katee91]

I work a stressful but very (financially) rewarding job - comfortably 6 figures with generous bonuses. My DH out earns me and I know we are very fortunate in that respect.

I’m attempting to turn a hobby/passion into a small side business and have spoken to various friends about it.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money. That isn’t the motivating factor though, it’s for enjoyment and linked to my passion.

AIBU to feel a bit upset at their outlook with this? Even after I explain my reasons they still turn it back to money.

I don’t think it’s jealousy as my DH suggested, but I just feel a bit deflated and that my friends should be supporting me..

Other people are different to you, shocker....Lots of people with very important/stressful jobs can still compartmentalise and not think about it much outside of work. In fact, in most cases they have to to avoid burn out.

Besides which, I don't think the previous poster meant that they literally forget everything about their job the second they clock out, like a character in Severance 🙄. I'm sure they are capable of remembering if they have to start early one day, or to bear in mind they're meeting with a boss on Tuesday so to dress smartly or whatever. Just they don't spend time worrying/stressing about work, or even thinking about it other than the basic awareness.

Maybe they're jealous. Some people justify others earning a lot more more money than they do by saying that the others' jobs aren't enjoyable, or fulfilling, and so they've "sold out". So when you announce that you not only are continuing your lucrative job, but are also starting a fulfilling and enjoyable one....well, their world view and justification of it just got up ended. You are not allowed to earn a lot of money AND have a fulfilling job. It's not fair. So they are angry.

I’m fascinated by the hobbies on MN that are outing. They must be really out there.

I wouldn’t worry about what others think (though I know negative reactions can be a bit of a dampener). I think they are probably just wondering why you want to change it from a hobby to a business (essentially, a second job).

I’ve had jobs where they are forgotten about once I leave the building. Of course I remember to go back the next day but I haven't thought about the job at all since the door closed behind me.

Expecting others to use their time and / or money for good causes is a bit annoying though. If someone chooses to volunteer then good for them .. but telling someone else that they should volunteer is not on.

If my friends thought I should be doing something different with my time than a harmless money making hobby, I'd be glad to be rid of the sanctimonious envious bastards.

Same

So when your friends question why you "need" to do this, and you explain that you don't need to but you enjoy it, do they then give you their blessing or do they raise other objections, and if so what objections?

If you have a hobby and it happens to be profitable and you enjoy it (and you're good at it) and you're not complaining to anyone about how short of time you are or ducking out of other engagements... why would any friend not be happy for you?

I think it’s envy. I know some people throw that around but I do believe it’s what happening here.

They don’t like seeing people they are close with succeed in new areas because it makes them feel inadequate or reminds them of the dreams they didn’t pursue. I’ve had friends like that - now former friends.

It’s why a lot of people talk about how “no one will cheer louder for you than a stranger” often friends are the least supportive.