Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

[Katee91]

I work a stressful but very (financially) rewarding job - comfortably 6 figures with generous bonuses. My DH out earns me and I know we are very fortunate in that respect.

I’m attempting to turn a hobby/passion into a small side business and have spoken to various friends about it.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money. That isn’t the motivating factor though, it’s for enjoyment and linked to my passion.

AIBU to feel a bit upset at their outlook with this? Even after I explain my reasons they still turn it back to money.

I don’t think it’s jealousy as my DH suggested, but I just feel a bit deflated and that my friends should be supporting me..

They don’t sound like good friends OP.

DH and I are high earners and I have side hustle (that’s a passion), that has also made a fair chunk of money. All my friends have been nothing but happy and excited for me.

Are they judging or just puzzled as to why you would want to? Maybe it's more that YOU feel i'ts a strange thing to be doing if you already have a high powered and stressful job? Whatever, you don't need their support, unless you are expecting them to fund it in some way (buy your services?).

Is your new business part of an MLM?

Is it because you were hoping for them to support you by buying your stuff? If so then I think it is relevant that you're a high earner. I'd be more likely to buy something from a friend who is struggling than one who is comfortable.

I earn six figures, I also have a side business. As anyone who earns that kind of money knows, it takes an awful lot from you and it probably isn’t something you can or will want to do for ever. It’s about having a plan B you love. Well done you 💐

Depends what you mean in terms of needing your friends being “supportive”

a friend of mine has made her hobby her business, and the expectation is that we (supportive friends) regularly purchase items

i find that a big ask tbh. And one I sometimes resent. If she were rich I’d really be even more like FFS 😂😂

You mean by the one we have one side so the OP version of what is going on? sure I can see they may be rude, frustrated by the OP, annoyed and other things but casnt see whyat there is to be jealous about? again what the OP is doing works for them nbut not everyone wants to do what the OP is doing so again why are they appearing to be jealous?

@Katee91 Just do what you want and stop asking your friends to validate you. They won't so just do it anyways. Its got nothing to do with money.

On the face of it, their attitude doesn’t really make sense. Unless your commitment to the side hustle on top of your existing commitments means you will have little or no time to maintain friendships?

Is the side-hustle in some niche but competitive field and your entry into it would further over-saturate the market and make it harder for people who work in it to make a living? I might judge in that instance, since you apparently don’t need the money.

If it’s Only Fans, they may have a point.

Honestly Op, I’m surprised you’re even bothered by it.

Do you always look for from approval from others?

How is your confidence and self esteem in general?

Most people work because they need the money. They may just be questioning it because they know that you don't need extra money,vso why would you create more work/stress/hassle for yourself if you don't need to. Regardless, who cares. What level of support were you hoping from them?
On a serious note, consider expending some of your passion for this hobby on those who perhaps can't afford to take it up. You could offer children/adults sessions for free or at a very reduced rate. There are many DC who don't have opportunities to try clubs as they can be really expensive.

Your friends might think why you do want to spend your free time effectively earning money when you don’t need it? I’m guessing the hobby is time intensive and maybe they think there are other things you could do with your time rather than make more money? I guess that’s what I’d be wondering but tbh good for you if you’re good at something, you enjoy it and you want to make some extra money with it, why not. I know someone who started out doing pottery and ended up making a side business out of it. She was well off anyway, didn’t need to but did it because it was her passion. I felt a little jealous she had that freedom to do that! Perhaps jealousy comes into play too.

This! As a person who is codependent and doesn’t have an abundance of money I’d be worried about being expected to buy stuff as buying anything these days means sacrificing something else as everything is so expensive.

OP I think it sucks but don’t waste time being too bothered about it. I remember when I told my now former friend I was writing and she told me why I was still bothering with that as it wasn’t going anywhere. I was busy editing my work to apply for a writers development programme as I had a few weeks in between the end of one job and the start of another.

I got onto that programme and fast forward 1 year and I got a literary agent then another year and then I got a book deal with a big 5 publisher. I did and still do work a day job (as
many writers do!) so it’s not as if I was being reckless and leaving myself penniless to follow my dreams etc

In my friend’s case I suspect it wasn’t so much jealousy, it was just she was so limited in her thinking she couldn’t figure out why I’d keep spending my free time writing for years .

It was so narrow minded though because even if I hadn’t got the book deal - what harm was it going by spending some evenings and weekends writing? It said more about her than my capabilities though so I’m glad I ignored her.

I decided she wasn’t my type of person for that and other reasons. I have so many friends who encouraged me and asked how my writing was going and what my book was about etc BEFORE I got the book deal as they could see how much it joy it brought me.

She did the opposite, so while I didn’t internalise it or spend time being overly upset about it I just realised we had very different outlooks on life.

After 5 years of juggling both I am now getting ready to leave my FT job and work full time as an author and freelance writer.

I understand that sentiment in general and I know I ended a friendship with a friend who did MLM and made passive aggressive digs about people (such as me presumably) not supporting her.

But in this case they could at the very least just stay quiet even if they don’t want to actively encourage OP.

Very selfish to actively discourage your friend from setting up a side gig “just in case” you’re asked to contribute.

How about you cross that hurdle when you come to it instead of assuming. If you are asked you can always decline. I had a friend who set up a travel related business. I travel a lot but What she was offering didn’t look good. I chose not to support it. But I wouldn’t have went out of my way to discourage her.

Are you trying to sell things to your friends? If they are less well off than you, I can see why they might be a bit irked.

Why are you trying to monetise it if not for the money? Can’t you just do the hobby?
As long as you aren’t expecting them to buy your products or services I wouldn’t worry. How interested are you in their hobbies?

OP just go for it. Doesn’t matter what your existing earnings are - if it’s something you want to do then go for it

People are going to judge whatever you do. I hope these friends are people who clap when you’re winning though - always watch for that.

Commenting on the amount of holidays she’s taken.

I’m guessing your friends earn less than you and are probably miffed that you have the time or inclination to earn more money given most people are exhausted after doing a full week and then dealing with kids/house/family commitments. They perhaps envy your’easy’ life.

It depends what your expectation is from the side hustle. If you want to keep it as a self-funding hobby, that's pretty straightforward. Did you imply that you expect more though? Are they concerned that you are going to burn out trying to get this business up and running so you can leave your job? Is that realistic?

You sound to me like what we used to call a go getter i.e. someone focussed on the bigger picture in life with lots of energy and ideas. Don't let these dullards rain on your parade. Ask yourself when you get to retirement: Who was right? Me? Or, them? I still know people who are doing the same thing they did 50 years ago!!! Your life, your journey! Go get Girl!

If it’s a lovely hobby, why do you need to make money from it? Would that suddenly add pressure and change the whole nature of it, if it’s no longer just for fun anymore?