To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

ewww that most have said your unreasonable he’s literally pooing before having sex and CHOOSING not to shower that’s grim

I was horrified!!

Could never. Would never.

I've explained this topic to my DH. He is convinced it's got nothing to do with poo at all and more to do with a little masturbation. Is it possible that DH is having a cheeky little wank to calm his over excited libido and make the whole experience last a little bit longer ?? Or conversely, as they are TTC, is he getting himself close and in the mood all alone before leaping into bed? Guess we'll never know as the OP has disappeared!

i have absolutely come to the conclusion after reading this thread that my family are hot beds of filth. I had absolutely no idea. We all regularly shower/bath but I have absolutely no idea this was supposed to be multiple times a day and that I was supposed to be washing flannels/ towels daily and have them littered everywhere. Now, as it turns out, we don’t get ill very often, so I’ve come to the conclusion clearly that the grot is doing us a lot of good!

I think OP’s main issue (but who knows as she hasn’t returned 🤔) is knowing that her DP is doing a “squeeze n splash” before the jiggy jiggy. It’s not very sexy or much of a turn on to be aroused and ready for sex and your DH to declare he’s dropping the twins at the pool whilst you lie in bed and wait for him to finish.

@Doweneedjellyfish
Maybe she's not aroused and ready for sex? She says they're TTC so perhaps it's more functional for both of them at the moment

Why not wait to go to bed till after his bathroom visit, relax, have a drink together and cuddle on the couch, then have a sexy shower together,,and btw beds are for sleeping in . Making babies can be anywhere, so vary it. Nothing more off putting than an in bed regimen at a certain time. Go out and have it away in the car like teens, living room floor / couch, jump off a few wardrobes lol I don’t think I had sex in bed all the time I was married, but we did have more options…boats, beaches, hillsides

I was baffled by that too. If that's the case surely you should shower before pulling your knickers back up then? God forbid you may need to shit away from home! Maybe some of these people need immodium!

I can't be the only one who doesn't like clammy post-shower skin ... at most it's baby wipes or a flannel to freshen up before (if need be, definitely not every time and definitely not if we're just fooling around and it turns into something more). A shower would see me having to wait 15 mins before I could stand our skin being pressed together for any shenanigans. Kind of a mood killer in my book. Would rather just have sex in the shower.

Nah, you do that with the hard skin crumbs off his feet 😂

🤢🤮😆
I love this site sometimes!

I've never noticed them in the business class lounge in Abu Dhabi 😝

Bum guns are more an Asian thing, it's a hose and nozzle by the bog in some countries and you can aim a jet of water at the vital parts. You wouldn't get them in British homes that's for sure.

I don't think you do....

You really don't seem to if you think washing with it is unhygienic.

If he needs to be needs to go. Maybe he attends to his ablutions including showering and gets into bed after his done his stuff before you ready to get into bed .
I must admit the sounds coming out of an envelope suite bathroom can be off putting, morning or night. You just need to get a better routine.

Not many people faff around having baths and showers in the mornings before they go out to work when they only had a bath the previous evening. It's just not practical time wise for most people in a morning.

I have IBS, I certainly can't allocate time to shower every time I have a bloody shit!

Really? It explains why public transport is so whiffy then.

Showering 2 times a day is appalling for skin health (and the environment). It’s most likely overall much more more damaginong to your hygiene showering everyday

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20240423-theres-no-need-to-shower-every-day-heres-why

That’s gross 🤢, if he has to go he has to go, but there’s no way I’d be intimate with him immediately after. He’d definitely need to shower.

If somebody has a bath and then goes to bed and then gets up and goes to work, why would they smell? You are teaching your daughter this have an OCD by the sounds of it, I wish had your luxury of having all that time in a morning! Ok my office days I have to leave at 7.30. but feel free to see me as smelly and beneath you!

@zov “rumpy pumpy” I haven’t heard anyone say that in years. Im really laughing 😂

I had a partner who always needed to go to the loo DURING the deed, so we had to stop for a while. VERY off-putting. And difficult to get started again.

He might be more hygienic and comfortable getting it out before sex. As long as he is washing his hands and not smelling of shit! Then I dont see the problem.

I've never been able to understand how people, men mostly, can shit on demand. Must be great choosing when you can poo.