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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So upset with my brother and his wife

229 replies

Brunettesmorefun · 03/09/2025 18:10

I’ll try and keep this short. I lost my daughter 6 years ago and it has been hard. 3 years ago I was very upset by my sister in law and a post she made on social media. I spoke to her and my brother and told them how upset I was. We talked it through and I apologised. We alll said we would forget it and move on. Only she hasn’t. I tried to make amends by sending nice presents etc and never received a thank you.

Three months ago out of the blue they announced that I was not allowed in their house! To say I was upset is an understatement and I am so upset with my brother for not standing up for me. I am finding it difficult to get over and feel so sad.
How do others cope with similar situations?

OP posts:
Tootietoots · 08/09/2025 11:22

Brunettesmorefun · 08/09/2025 10:29

My sister was invited to my daughter’s funeral. She cut contact with me as we could not include my daughter’s cousins and partners because of how we arranged her funeral (my grandsons wishes and what he could cope with). We had to keep to a very small circle in the chapel at the crematorium. My sister ignored me on the day and when I tried to hug her on leaving she told me she would never see me again.
Everyone including cousins were invited to a memorial service in the afternoon.

Show quote history

That’s beyond cruel. I am so sorry. I dont think she is worthy of your upset.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 08/09/2025 20:00

Brunettesmorefun · 08/09/2025 10:29

My sister was invited to my daughter’s funeral. She cut contact with me as we could not include my daughter’s cousins and partners because of how we arranged her funeral (my grandsons wishes and what he could cope with). We had to keep to a very small circle in the chapel at the crematorium. My sister ignored me on the day and when I tried to hug her on leaving she told me she would never see me again.
Everyone including cousins were invited to a memorial service in the afternoon.

Show quote history

You don't need such a person in your life OP, as hard as it is.

Good that you're communicating well with DB, keep the relationship separate from SIL.

Original poster
Brunettesmorefun · 08/09/2025 20:35

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 08/09/2025 20:00

You don't need such a person in your life OP, as hard as it is.

Good that you're communicating well with DB, keep the relationship separate from SIL.

Show quote history

Thank you. That is such good advice and that is what I hope to do. When you have been through such a sad bereavement you are easily worn down so just keeping in contact with my brother would be nice x

OP posts:
Original poster
Brunettesmorefun · 10/09/2025 19:47

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 08/09/2025 20:00

You don't need such a person in your life OP, as hard as it is.

Good that you're communicating well with DB, keep the relationship separate from SIL.

Show quote history

Thank you. I think that is really good advice. My husband and I went to stay not far from where they live and arranged to meet up with them for dinner. My brother turned up on his own but it was okay and we had a nice even together x

OP posts:
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