Terrified about granddaughter moving to uni at 17

[Janeyta]

Afternoon all, my lovely granddaughter is 17, her birthday is right at the end of February and as we are in Scotland this made her the youngest in her year. Since my daughter and her mother passed away 7 years ago she has lived with us most of the time and occasionally her dad. She is such a bright girl, straight As in Nat 5s, Highers and Advanced Highers, one of the sports captains at her school etc.

She has decided to go to London for university and will be studying French and German. No one in our family has gone to university before, all my family still live within a 20 minutes drive of our little village, so this is massive for us.

All of a sudden I’m absolutely terrified about her moving all that way at just 17, with quite a few months until she actually turns 18. No one else from her year is even going to England let alone London.

She’s a bright, sociable, very confident girl, so I have no doubt she will make friends and she is already talking about joining the tennis club etc. Still though I am terrified.

We don’t drive and her dad has said he can’t get the time off work to take her down so we will be going by train.

Now I’m sitting here thinking, what does she need to take with her? I’ve recently bought her a new coat, new trainers, new jeans etc. Obviously she will need bedding and all that sort of thing bur I’m terrified she will be left without everything she needs!!

She has inheritance from her mum so we can afford to splash out a little and get her nice things for going, plus she has been working all summer, 5 days a week in a local cafe and they have promised she will be able to pick up shifts when she is back from uni for holidays.

Am I being unreasonable to be so terrified? I keep having this fear that something awful will happen to her, especially as she is still so young!!
Can anyone offer some advice on what we need to get and how I can feel more settled!

Thank you all!

Clothes wise: absolutely anything goes but dress for comfort, walking and the Tube. Most students wear jeans, sweatshirts and trainers. I would buy the minimum and leave it to her to buy clothes when she gets her..Both my DC buy all their stuff on Vinted or Depop.

Oh wow! You must be super proud. Please don’t worry about how safe London is. We live a bit outside London. Ds2 is at university in Twickenham, which is a bit out of the way, but he goes out a lot in central London and ds1 has lived in a couple of places in London. Your dgd just has to be sensible, but that’s true of almost anywhere she would have gone. I really admire her for going somewhere very different. Almost everyone in my year went to either Glasgow or Edinburgh. I didn’t even contemplate an English university. Good luck to her.

This thread is beautiful. What an amazing Grandma you are. Of course you're worried. Your incredible Granddaughter will be fine. But naturally you can't know that yet. My daughter who is 27, lives and works in London and would be happy to help if help is needed. Hugs xxx

She will be more than fine! London is perfectly safe, as safe as anywhere else if you're sensible.

My son went to uni at 17 as the very youngest - honestly, it's quite normal.

She will love it!

She must try the Roti King Malaysian restaurant- more of a dive- at Euston. Traditional UCL hangout.

Yes we did try to convince her to go to a Scottish Uni, we visited Glasgow, St Andrews, Edinburgh you name it but when we visited London she just fell in love and poured her all into going there!

@Janeyta My DD is at UCL! just moving into 3rd year. She also made friends online before she moved in. Freshers week will cover loads of different hobbies and interests.
I feel you about the crime thing but my DD became very streetwise very quickly. It's just sensible to keep your phone out of sight.
In terms of stuff, it's amazing how much they accumulate. My top tip is to vacuum pack soft stuff like bedding and clothes.

Well, it is the best city in the world!
Crime exists of course, but both my DC have been roaming London on their own since they were teens. Nothing bad hss ever happened. Wise to not put all your cards or money in one bag in case of pickpockets. Just take usual big city precautions.

This will be the absolute making of her! She has done so well to get into such a prestigious uni and to have the courage to head to London by herself for this grand adventure
You are not being unreasonable at all to be terrified, I've travelled the world alone at 20 but dread my kids heading off! It's only natural for us to worry. But whatever you do please don't let her see this. It might take the shine off her excitement, add to any butterflies she has and she needs to know that you believe in her and that she can do this. Because she absolutely can. And that's because of everything you have done for her in life to get her here and help her to become this remarkable woman.
London has rough areas with crime like any city but she sounds sensible. The uni will have teams of people whose entire job is to help students settle in and flourish. They pay particular attention to students who are first in family to attend uni and will have lots of welcome sessions and safety advice. They know that first years are often still far from being entirely independent and sometimes needs lots of support. My friend works in student support services at Imperial in London and the support they offer students throughout their study is brilliant. I'm sure UCL is just the same.
She will do just fine. And so will you when you see her having a fabulous time 😊

My DC get clothes almost entirely from Vinted, vintage shops and Uniqlo - easy to find in central London.

The great thing about London is its size and diversity. When I go I see whole groups of students/ friends walking around together and all have their own style etc so that’s one area I’d worry less.

Plus being London she can always go shopping!

She's done so well getting into UCL i'm sure you're very proud! Natural to feel a bit uncertain but absolutely no need to be terrified. Please do everything you can to relax yourself - you don't want your (ungrounded) fear rubbing off on her and making her nervous and fearful of everything! You need to show her shes going to have the best time and can handle anything that comes her way - kitchen stuff, clothes etc easily sorted when she's here so no point wasting energy on now. Instead of knife crime (which she wont see at all, trust me i've lived here 10 years and dont know anyone who has been even slightly impacted) try to focus on all the amazing things and opportunities in London. It's consistently voted best city in the world and millions of people live here safely and happily - she's just one more person who's going to love it :)

When my son started uni, lots of students seemed to have bought starter kits like these - there was a pile of them in the entrance of his halls waiting for the owners to move in and claim them www.unikitout.com/?tw_source=google&tw_adid=&tw_source=google&tw_adid=&utm_term=&utm_campaign=21555782348&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=3537576794&hsa_cam=17157102221&hsa_grp=&hsa_ad=&hsa_src=x&hsa_tgt=&hsa_kw=&hsa_mt=&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21559516048&gbraid=0AAAAA9WY1sqanmwMundvmH2sFOucvc-fO&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrPy7ooq9jwMVH5RQBh3J1COzEAAYASAAEgKtVvD_BwE

Honestly, there will be students there from other countries with different languages, let alone different fashions. No-one will be 'out of place' because everyone will be different.

You can't go wrong with a pair of Adidas spezials and a pair of wide legged jeans though for a teenaged girl currently in this country!

Goodness me, some of these posts. Pop into a shop to check Google Maps - really??

I was born and raised in London and now live in the SE and commute in. She’ll be fine! London is a melting pot so there will be loads of students from all over the country and beyond - she should dress how she wants! UCL is a great uni - the best thing she can do is take advantage of all the wonderful culture of the city (and ignore scaremongers who get their information about London from the Daily Mail and or Nigel Farage..!)

Since she has money she will be able to buy anything she needs very easily once she's in London. You can be her advisor over the phone on this one, you don't need to sort it all out in advance. About safety, a sociable young woman is unlikely to travelling around much on her own and there's safety in numbers; also probably lots of things to do in the actual campus. I bet she has a fabulous time. Just let her know that you want to hear from her often at first, just a quick message that she's safe and happy every day or so.

Gently yes YABU to be so worried. It’s London, not Baghdad! But I do understand that it’s so far away from your experience and what you really have here is fear of the unknown. If it’s any consolation, I’ve lived in London since my early 20s when I moved down for work and in the decade+ that I’ve been here I’ve (touch wood) never had anything bad happen. And I live in a very knife crime-y borough. It’s largely, sadly, gang and drug related violence so if you’re not involved in that you’re unlikely to be caught up in it. Now I won’t lie and say crime/attacks don’t happen but in my experience they are rarer than the news and statistics would have you believe. She sounds like a brilliant young woman with lots of ambition and I’m sure her hall and course mates will help her settle in.

Even if her current clothes don’t quite “fit” she’ll adapt in no time. She’s obviously very bright and determined too.

It’s understandable why you’re panicking but please be proud of her too. I’m so proud of her and I don’t even know her! I wish you all the best.

Your grand daughter has done amazingly well! You must be so proud.
I went to UCL. It’s a great uni and she will have a brilliant time.
in terms of clothes anything goes in London. It’s so diverse culturally that she could wear purple trousers and an orange t shirt with blue hair and nobody would give it a second glance.
if money isn’t a huge issue then I’d just let her buy what she needs when she gets there. You don’t want to be bringing loads on the train.

Your DGD sounds like a smashing young lady, smart, mature, sociable and hardworking. A credit to you and her late mum.
Hope she has a brilliant time at uni. Don't worry about her age. A few months is nothing and she sounds way more grown up than most 25 year olds.

I haven’t voted because while I think your fears are unfounded, I can hardly say they are unreasonable when you have gone though losing your daughter. I’m so sorry.

It sounds like your daughter, you, and the rest of the family have done an amazing job with your granddaughter and as a result she is significantly better prepared to cope with university than many freshers old than her. She sounds fantastic and will almost certainly flourish.

Please don’t panic if she has a few early wobbles, it’s very normal, and whilst lending a sympathetic ear, don’t leap in to scoop her away from university, except perhaps for a weekend. The first thing is to reassure her and build her confidence. Obviously if she really needs to leave it will become obvious and you would support her in that unlikely event.

Try to be excited for her and look forward to hearing all about her new adventures.

You’ve all done so well!

Hopefully this will make you feel more comfortable

London's Violent Crime Rate Compared To The UK National Average - Brilliant Maps

The top ten lowest violent crime boroughs are in London, including Westminster and Camden where UCL is. The stuff you hear about London being dangerous is mainly anti-London sentiment and people not taking stats in context.
She will have a fabulous time!

Well done to her!

There’s a new IKEA right by Oxford Circus tube where she’ll be able to buy everything she needs.

Only other thing I’d suggest is making sure she has the Uber app downloaded so she can avoid public transport late at night.

Some universities have policies for students under the age of 18 and offer a little more support, but your GD sounds like a very capable young woman and I imagine will cope well with London life.

She can order any kitchen equipment she needs for delivery after she arrives. Sounds as if you might need to take some bedding unless you'll have time to buy it on arrival. No need for her to cook for the first few days: she can use cafes, supermarkets and Deliveroo while she settles down and gets into a routine. Put some money in her account so she can arrive in London with minimal stuff — mainly the clothes and toiletries she'll need for the week, her tablet/ laptop etc — and buy whatever else she needs while she's there. As others have pointed out, there's no shortage of shops. Don't try to predict what she might need or try to cover all angles. Part of going to university is about being able to make your own choices. I hope she has a wonderful time.

Yes. There will be students from all over the world. Some who have come from countries as far away as China and India
If they can fit in, so can she.

Adidas and NB trainers perfectly fine.