Don’t want Dh to start getting home from work earlier

[Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays]

Dh used to get home from work around 6 onwards, in summer they’ve been going into work earlier and arriving home earlier at 4.30, due to the heat. They’ve all decided they prefer this at his workplace and will stick with these hours.
I pick Dd, 6 up from school and am home for 3.30, I really used to enjoy this time for just us, we’d have a snack and cuddle up together on the sofa, read books, watch tv and chat, we’d then maybe play for a bit, take the dog for a walk, then i’d get dinner ready later.
It just takes this away with Dh arriving not long after, changes the dynamic
At weekends we’re all home and also she’s at friends houses or has friends around

Aibu to be sad at missing this quiet time just for us?

Not unreasonable to feel sad, no

but bugger all you can do about it

so as long as you don’t mope around dabbing at your tears, you’ll get used to it

I think it is lovely your Dh also gets this time with her too. Maybe you get an hour just the two of you and then Dh and DD get an hour just the two of them. Dh was always a very involved Dad, still is and the children are adults. You get to do the pick up every day, maybe he would love to do that too but working hours prevent it.

I think you should embrace it and share it.

But how does him being there stop you doing that?

if I liked the solo time with DC, I’d say ‘I’ve got the child for an hour- can you go do prep dinner/clean the bathroom/sort that bag out for the charity shop?’

i can see your point of view but also what about your dh wanting to spend time with his family.
The her out for picnics and to library … just to two of you.
I love an empty house but I’d be rightly pissed off to find dh didn’t want me home early.

Wait until he retires!

Do you work op?
how old is your child?

6
I work part time

Presumably she has after school activities? Clubs? Play dates?

either way, surely feel sad

just out a lid on it in front of your child and husband for heavens sakes!

Yes, this. And then switch so he gets some solo time with her daily too.

How very sad.

😬

I don’t think this is a particularly nice or healthy way to be thinking about your child’s dad or your husband.

You don’t want him spending time with his child. I read some strange things on here but this is just weird. Even more weirded the number YANBU.

There's a man who wants to spend more time with his family? What a BASTARD.

I think your way of thinking is a bit weird. Dh was swlf employed when the kids were little and he changed his working day do he could come home earlier and be with us all.
Instead of me having the kids to myself we shared the load. It was much better.
You'll soon get used to it anyway.

I know! How awful!!! LTB!!!

Is working part time 25 hours per week or 5 hours pw?

That would affect my view.

I read it as more that she enjoys the 1-2-1 time with her dd rather than she doesn't want her dh to spend time with dd.

For all we know the dh is a bit boorish and loud when at home.

Perhaps your DH is looking forward to some 1 on 1 time with his DD?

A lot of men change their hours so they get home after the children are in bed or close to it, avoiding the witching hour. Honestly, embrace your Dh wanting to come home rather than stopping off somewhere or lingering at the office. There should be Daddy and Daughter time carved out otherwise he just gets "family" time on a weekend meaning he never gets one on one time with his daughter.

Dh used to lie in on a Saturday morning, I had a lie in on a Sunday and he would take the children out to brunch, they called it Boy Brunch as I have sons. They loved it. It doesn't diminish how much they loved me or that I was the default parent as a sahm. Oh and he made me a lovely bacon sandwich when he came back so I never missed out on being spoiled by him.

I think it's nice he wants to do that OP and you're very lucky that you can work part time and pick your DD up every day in the middle of the afternoon.

I agree this is really sad

Lock the door from the inside and turn up the TV. Put your phone on silent.

Of course you can feel sad. But it’s his home and his child, too.

Be pleased that you had that time together, and be generous now.

The OP hasn’t said whether her dh wants more time with his dd. Just that he offers that organisation time wise. And that they started that organisation over the summer, ie when thete was no school run etc….

For all we know he might very well just slump on the sofa when he is back home and do little with his dd. Or with cooking, doing the housework etc….

On a personal level, I much prefer that sort of organisation re timing at work.
I wouldnt say it’s to spend more time with my family. It’s just easier/nicer. Not every decision taken is about family!

Why don’t you just suggest DH have a bath or chill or gym a couple nights a week? Or just carry on and let him join in if he chooses too. You don’t have to jump up and start cooking his dinner you know. Just carry on as you are.