Don’t want Dh to start getting home from work earlier

[Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays]

Dh used to get home from work around 6 onwards, in summer they’ve been going into work earlier and arriving home earlier at 4.30, due to the heat. They’ve all decided they prefer this at his workplace and will stick with these hours.
I pick Dd, 6 up from school and am home for 3.30, I really used to enjoy this time for just us, we’d have a snack and cuddle up together on the sofa, read books, watch tv and chat, we’d then maybe play for a bit, take the dog for a walk, then i’d get dinner ready later.
It just takes this away with Dh arriving not long after, changes the dynamic
At weekends we’re all home and also she’s at friends houses or has friends around

Aibu to be sad at missing this quiet time just for us?

It's his house and his daughter too, you are massively unreasonable.

@Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays i get why you are sad. This was a nice, relaxed bonding time with your dd and now it’s half gone.

Having said that, you CAN decide to still concentrate on your dd, spend time watching Tv or read books together. Actually I’d strongly encourage you to do so because this time will go away much faster than you think.

And I’d start talking about how work at home should be split now he is back early. Like him cooking etc….

The dh hasnt expressed the wish to spend time with his dd though.
Nor has the OP stopped him, quite the opposite. She feels she’ll have to stop her routine to reorganise it around him. Which SHOULD mean him spending time with his DD…. But might well not.

Would he be allowed to work longer a couple of days, so he can make Puck up on another day? Then you can both have a special day with her.

My DH works from home so I usually take our DC to a quiet playground or the library or a cafe or something after nursery so that I get them to myself for a couple of hours and he can continue to work in peace. We get home around 5 and they want to play with him, I use the time to make dinner or do house admin. Maybe you could switch to doing that instead of coming straight home?

Selfish much?!

Bloody hell, what I’d give for my DH to arrive home at 4.30pm every day. Maybe that’s just me 😂 I find the time after school with my 3 an absolute slog.

We don't know that though. Op what's he doing when he gets in, is he spending time with DD or sorting dinner etc?

What actually happens then when he gets home? What makes it so it’s not nicer having all 3 of you there together?

Unless Dh is an abusive arsehole, YABU. Why cant he have 1-2-1 time too? One does dinner, goes to.gym or run or whatever whilst the other spends.quality time with DD. Sounds like a win win for everyone tbh.

As pps have said @Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays it would be helpful to know what your DH does when he gets in. Does he talk to you and your DD, and play with her, and watch TV with her? Or does he just slump on the couch, watch what HE wants on the TV and ignore you both?

Difficult to form an opinion, or a response without knowing more really.......

DH now finishes work at 16:30 instead of 18:00 but now spends the 1 1/2 hours in the pub instead of coming home and spending time with me and his child. I wonder how the 27% (who have voted YANBU) would vote then!

LTB obviously, same applies if he went to gym/hobby/mates/his parents.....
'He should be with his little family a la m'....

Let him sit with DD while you go to the gym! I bet he starts working later every day!!

Oh get over yourself OP! You still have an hour with your DD as you said you get home at 3.30 and he gets in at 4.30. You also have mornings as he starts earlier.

YABVU and selfish.

@Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays
Honestly I would run with it…. It’s really important that children have good bonds with both parents, it makes life much easier in the long run.
Also it’s amazing how quickly the dynamic changes anyway as children get older. I honestly couldn’t keep up with mine. The moment I thought I’d got it, they moved on!!

I bet if you were to say "DH, go upstairs have a rest, watch TV, pop to the pub, do your hobby.." your problem would be solved in a heart beat.

But the OP wouldn't mind that, because she doesn't want him at home til after 6pm!!!

For all we know he might be a loving dad who wants to play a full part in bringing up his child. I’d have though if he was what you said we’d have been told.

Heh...love this reply.
"Can you go clean the bathroom."

Oooh ta.

Why don’t you split the time 1-2-1?
I can’t get my head around two adults looking after a small child, being on top of each other. That’s just me.
You could have two days to yourself in this time while he looks after your child. One day you do something all together and the other two days you look after and he has time to himself. There is also plenty of things to do in our house that need doing while the other parent entertains a small child - divide it up.

Tell DH you actively want to encourage him to go to the pub after work every day, and or take up golf/cycling or even both. 😂

Or take the child out before he returns so you're not back till around 6pm.

Other than that you could just go up to your kids room and play with them while DH is downstairs doing something else, until it's time for dinner?

This is so odd.

Most parents would be delighted that there were two of them around at that sort of time. It means, in daylight one can crack on an do a bit of gardening, or one can cook the dinner without having to be entertaining a small child, or each of you can fit in the appointments that are so much easier without a small child in tow (Dentist, optician, hair cut, etc as routine, then Drs as needed).

Plus, how lovely for dc to grow up seeing two parents interchangeably helping them with homework or reading, or playing with them, and also cooking, dealing with the laundry, etc.

Thank you x yes it’s nothing personal just that I miss that time, just us

I don't find it odd at all that the OP enjoys 1-2-1 time with their child, I also miss it when for whatever reason I don't get to spend the post-nursery time alone with my DC. DH is a fantastic dad but the dynamic is really different, the DC are a lot more boisterous and tend to fight more when he's around than when it's just the three of us and the little one especially is in a daddy phase so I don't get a look in. I think it's normal to enjoy time alone with your DC and frankly find people who don't quite odd!