Don’t want Dh to start getting home from work earlier

[Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays]

Dh used to get home from work around 6 onwards, in summer they’ve been going into work earlier and arriving home earlier at 4.30, due to the heat. They’ve all decided they prefer this at his workplace and will stick with these hours.
I pick Dd, 6 up from school and am home for 3.30, I really used to enjoy this time for just us, we’d have a snack and cuddle up together on the sofa, read books, watch tv and chat, we’d then maybe play for a bit, take the dog for a walk, then i’d get dinner ready later.
It just takes this away with Dh arriving not long after, changes the dynamic
At weekends we’re all home and also she’s at friends houses or has friends around

Aibu to be sad at missing this quiet time just for us?

I think it is quite sad that a number of posters are trying to find ways that a dad shouldn’t be having time with his DD. If this was a mum getting home earlier in the day would your responses be the same.

Except literally no-one is saying anything remotely like that.

How horribly selfish.

Baffles me why people seem to think it’s the norm to resent your partner being around. Why marry and share a life with someone you would rather not even spend time with 🤣 or wishing they’d stay out at work longer and not being pleased for them to get more time back in an evening after work.

I’d love it if my DP could always be home by 4:30.

I dunno, the OP is saying something not far from it if you read her posts imho.... she clearly resents her DH getting home earlier, & upsetting 'her time' with her dd....

When does your DH have his special time with his DD without you being around?

Not everyone is in the situation as you 👍 many people are not, why the laughing faces? I’m
sure many didn’t marry or get into family type relationships thinking that, try to have some empathy and maybe open your mind to the fact not everyone may have the perfect, little cosy situation and incredible man that you do

*Same situation

ok so finally we’re getting somewhere

I’ve reflected on my post . And I’ve read more of your comments.

I think what I’m hearing is there needs to be more acknowledgment of how you feel.
and I didn’t do that in my post.

For the record I’ve got 2 kids both older now and I do really miss those younger days , in fact I grieve for the loss at times. When you are so invested in this job of parenting we really savour every moment and it IS great you want that. It shows the value you have for your children and how much nicer to want time with them ? I’m sure there are parents who might be more selfish and dismissive.

Your husband coming home early of course is a threat to this sacred time. But you are both right. He is not wrong by coming home early
you are not wrong for valuing that time. These are normal human feelings. But they exist together side by side. The mature adult in you needs to see that objectively. Needs to then accept your own needs and then think more broadly and objectively about everyone else aswell.
I’m sure you are smart enough to think of. Some solutions so everyone gets their needs met. You, your husband and your child.

and remember

change can be for the good aswell as the bad

If you don’t like your DH, it’s probably time to leave. Even if you don’t have the perfect relationship, to wish the poor guy had to stay at work and be miserable just so you don’t have to see him is… pretty damn horrible of you.

You did come on here asking if you’re being unreasonable. You can’t then complain when people reply with an answer.

The next thread the Op starts will be under a different user name and will either by in Relationships or Legal (asking for divorce advice)

The truth hurts. It's really sad you resent your husband the way you do.

Oh don't be so dramatic

Haha this made me chuckle cos I totally understand. My husband changed to a WFH 3 x a week job. You do get used to it!

I think if the op had been honest onset from the outset and explained that

I’m unhappily married and do not enjoy my husband being around, and so now he’s getting home earlier it means more time with him around and I hate him being around, especially when I love my alone time with our DD…. Everyone would have empathised.

However it came out as drip drip drip

This makes me so sad. Do you not really like your husband?

Well I think it’s clear that it’s a very unhappy marriage

Why can't they mop the floors or make dinner?

I like to do it, but I used to have everything done before they came in and now I can't and sometimes it can be like chaos in the kitchen

You like mopping the floors?🤣

I like to do the housework, and get it done before everyone else gets in, whats wrong with that

Usually posters hate housework.

Doesn’t have to be you do it, whoever is home and sees that it needs doing can do it.

I wouldn't want them to do it, they are all boys, my clean is very different to theirs 😂

@theressomanytinafeysicouldbe are you a control freak?

Or one of those women who thinks men can't see dirt, bless'em? Because their testicles get in the way, presumably.