Don’t want Dh to start getting home from work earlier

[Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays]

Dh used to get home from work around 6 onwards, in summer they’ve been going into work earlier and arriving home earlier at 4.30, due to the heat. They’ve all decided they prefer this at his workplace and will stick with these hours.
I pick Dd, 6 up from school and am home for 3.30, I really used to enjoy this time for just us, we’d have a snack and cuddle up together on the sofa, read books, watch tv and chat, we’d then maybe play for a bit, take the dog for a walk, then i’d get dinner ready later.
It just takes this away with Dh arriving not long after, changes the dynamic
At weekends we’re all home and also she’s at friends houses or has friends around

Aibu to be sad at missing this quiet time just for us?

Maybe talk to him about how much you enjoy having 121 time wth her, and suggest a schedule that works for all of you. You will still pick her up everyday, and have that first hour to yourself. Once a week, YOU do something “special” with her, on your own, while he preps dinner. Once a week, YOU prep dinner, while HE spends time with her 121. The other evenings, you do something all together, like play board games, or go to the park. One assumes you had a child with this man, because you liked HIM, and enjoyed HIS company, not simply because you wanted to have a child with “anyone”.

Difficult to relate as my DD was in after school activities most nights right from starting school, it wasn’t really time for just coming home and chilling on the sofa. But it sounds weird that you would be upset about your husband coming home earlier. I would have thought that it would make evenings easier in terms of dinner prep, helping your DD with any homework, etc.

She just likes the quiet time with her girl after school bonding. That’s nice and shows love and gratitude and wanting her child.

While simultaneously showing a massive lack of love, respect or wanting the person she's married to.

Yes, I don’t suppose we can control our thoughts really and can’t help being sad at losing this sacred time

You must be one of the lucky ones 💓

Why is it sacred? Because you're in control?

Eh? In control of what?
Because I don’t see her much these days like when she was younger

It won’t be long before she’ll be wanting to do after school clubs, then you’ll be grateful for two pairs of hands/drivers.

You ssd you are losing this sacred time,?

You could consider home ed. I home ed. It’s great. Super recommend it to anyone who can and wishes to.

That way, when DH comes home at 4.30 you will be super happy 🤣

also people on here have so much beef. I mean this is super normal stuff going on here and she is getting annoyed about it.

So it's sad for you that you don't get much time with her, but you feel your DH shouldn't feel the same?

You can work part time, he has to work full time...

You can spend time with your child, but he should stay at work longer...

Nice

Yes…? I am, what does have control have to do with it? I just liked the one on one time, the reading and chatting, with friends over or her dad back, it’s not like that

I’ve thought about it, but we don’t have a large community around us, she’s v sociable and needs that and all friends at school. I just enjoyed that little gap of us time

Never said any of that…? He hasn’t expressed anything about wanting more time with her and is much more casual about time with her

blimey. So he works to provide for you, enough that you can work part-time and you begrudge him an early finish?

How about you work full time and he can work part-time and forge a better relationship with the DCs?

To provide for me..? I make the same amount and made more before Dd when I worked full time and *Provided for him

with friends over or her dad back, it’s not like that

But WHY op, what changes when her dad comes home that you can no longer have one on one time? What actually happens?

She’s less calm, wants to play with him or out for a bike ride with him etc, she has adhd and is pretty hyper and all over the place, her calmest and when we’re able to connect is when it’s just us I suppose

There's more going on here, isn't there? You don't sound like it's a good marriage.

So that's a positive to the new arrangement then, surely ?
One adult being able to take her out on the bike, or to go swimming or to climb a local hill, or bounce on a trampoline or kick a ball around for a while after school, whilst the other adult cracks on with getting the evening meal ready, and all the other 'stuff' that needs doing when you have a house, a child, and two working parents ?
Whichever one spends the time with her between school and the evening meal can do the clearing up whilst the parent that prepares the meal gets bath / story / bed time. Then swap the next day. Genuinely can't see how anyone is losing out here.

Thank you for answering, the way your posts were sounding is that your DH is a negative influence on the household, but it isn't really that as you describe it here, he sounds like a positive influence, but it is inadvertently interrupting your nice time together by giving her an option of something else to do instead of chill with you.

I think you just need to carve out that time as and when you still can, if you have an hour before your DH comes in then make the most of that every day, maybe talk to him about it if you can though, he may be happy to run an errand once a week to give you a bit longer?

Isn't there anything else you can do, just the two of you, which would give you the same result, without him having to change anything?

Exactly
I have asked but op avoids the question

the op doesn’t want her husband around. Full stop. And it will have much much more to it than simply missing an hour alone time with her daughter