Don’t want Dh to start getting home from work earlier

[Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays]

Dh used to get home from work around 6 onwards, in summer they’ve been going into work earlier and arriving home earlier at 4.30, due to the heat. They’ve all decided they prefer this at his workplace and will stick with these hours.
I pick Dd, 6 up from school and am home for 3.30, I really used to enjoy this time for just us, we’d have a snack and cuddle up together on the sofa, read books, watch tv and chat, we’d then maybe play for a bit, take the dog for a walk, then i’d get dinner ready later.
It just takes this away with Dh arriving not long after, changes the dynamic
At weekends we’re all home and also she’s at friends houses or has friends around

Aibu to be sad at missing this quiet time just for us?

You're not unreasonable to feel it secretly but you'd be hugely unreasonable if you were to try to exile him from his home and family time over it.

Agreed.

You can still have the time with your child to do those things, I can’t imagine wanting my husband to be out of the house more/ until later! Agree this is weird

I think some wondering about who voted YANBU might have missed that the OP’s question was, was she unreasonable to feel sad about missing that quiet time together with her DD. And personally, I don’t understand why anyone would say that was unreasonable. Why are her feelings unreasonable? Clearly it’s been a lovely time she and her DD have enjoyed, and now it’s going to change. Feeling sad about a change isn’t unreasonable. Lots of people do.

The OP can feel sad about what the hell she likes, and she knows that.

Clearly wanting a pat and “there there”

but didn’t get it. And rightfully so! The op can certainly be sad but she would sure as heck be unreasonable to make that in any shape or form obvious to her family!

Exactly this 💓

He gets home at 4.30, school ends 3.30, so you will still have an hour of 1 to 1 time?

I’d be over the bloody moon if DH got home earlier and still got paid the same!

So, as it is such a lovely time, and such a privilege to have that 1:1 time, why wouldn't you be really pleased for your dh that he could now get to experience it too ?

I think it's great to have the whole family home by 4:30, you'll still get an hour 121 and then maybe DH can start dinner some nights, or walk the dog, and sometimes they might take the dog out together and you get an hour to yourself and some nights all be together.

Thank you for proving my point. Your lack of reading comprehension is noted.

Well if he’s a good dad and DD loves spending time with him YABU!

Maybe the OP husband also wants one on one time with child

I understand you OP.
My DH is either travelling for work, or WFH. Obviously we live having him home... but we also enjoy the stuff we do when he isn't at home. We can all enjoy both things.

(His job is changing in a few months to more of a regular 9-5, no weekly travel and I'm both looking forward to it and bricking it as we really aren't used to spending that much time together.)

He has to leave earlier, it’s the same number of hours

I put YANBU. And LOL. I know the feeling.

Same happened with my ExH. Probably why were not together now 😂

This issue aside… happy and healthy marriage?

You started the thread at 16.08

So during your precious now limited time with your DD before your husband arrives home at 16.30!

It’s school holidays….been with Dd all day 👍

Probably the most selfish post for a long time!
You are so unreasonable!

I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting a particular point in the day to change.

I do think that the change will be permanent because once winter comes along, no one will be wanting to work beyond the time it gets dark.

Means you can both have quality time with your little one.

Dh gets home at 4.30pm and when our children were little it was lovely to have us all home at that time, meant dinner time , bath time and bed time wasn’t rushed. We always had a relaxed evening…. Well most of the time.

I can understand the change to your normal routine is a bit of a jolt but I think you'll get used to it and find advantages too. Nothing about it means you can't have some 1 to 1 time with your child every evening.

Completely understand how you have this schedule and it works.

I would suggest that DH gets home then chills for an hour upstairs, decompresses from work - reads a book / lies down / shower / scrolls etc. It's actually what my DH does for half an hour when he gets back.

Then you only lose half an hour. Win win.

So you’re pre empting your sadness

ah, I see.

What is the marriage otherwise like?

Not unreasonable to feel sad. I used to love getting home before the DC and having half an hour to myself. Then DH changed his hours so was home before me. He's make me a cup of tea and I'd have to act grateful but really, I'd have preferred alone time! Sometimes things are out of our control.