Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

Was it lunch you were having? And then they were having dinner elsewhere?

You would need to talk through the timings to make it make more sense...40 mins late is quite late. Teenagers are absolutely not an excuse for being late to my mind, traffic is different provided it isn't usual, routine traffic that you should account for.

Is it 2.5 hours for you or 1 hour? If there was no 'vibe' earlier when you were swimming or whatever I would not assume it had anything to do with you.

Im confused by the times. You say it was 2.5 hours then you also say it was 1 hour drive

The OP is a bit muddled. You say you had a meal together, then later say they left after starters. Did you have lunch together? Timings are off too.

You were 40 minutes late. You should allow time for traffic, and it's bizarre to me that you'd use teenagers as an excuse to be late! What's that about?!
You weren't respectful of their time. You should apologise.

Your post is all mixed up, were you an hour away or 2.5hrs away? 40mins is really late, were you due to have lunch together but because you were so late your lunch was so late it was almost time for their dinner reservation so they had to head off?

Your post makes absolutely no sense.

You were both rude.
You by being 40 minutes late and them by leaving after starters - although perhaps this was because they started eating 40 minutes later than planned.

Did they have a really strict timeline for the day that was thrown off when you were late?

Your post is quite confusing tbh so it’s a bit difficult to say who’s being unreasonable.

So once you arrived, you had a stroll, river swim and starters with your friends? It sounds like they spent a decent amount of time with you then, not just went off in a huff?

Were you just finishing starters at 5.30 (when they had to leave)? Was the meal you were meeting for meant to be lunch or dinner? That seems very late for lunch.

What does ‘they hadn’t realised this place was a fave restaurant and close to their home’ mean? I don’t understand their justification for needing to go to a different restaurant. If it’s a favourite restaurant of theirs, surely they know where it is?

I’d guess they probably feel you should have planned ahead for traffic, since it’s a Saturday in August, and felt it was inconsiderate that you didn’t and kept them waiting instead. How old is your DD, re needing to pee? Maybe it’s because I’m not a dog owner, but I don’t know if I’d be hugely impressed if I was waiting for late friends and they texted me that they’d stopped the car to give the dog a walk. Again, seems like things that should have been budgeted for and you should have left earlier to accommodate them. I don’t personally consider 40 mins a huge amount of time to wait, but if I felt I was waiting because my friends had been disorganised rather than because there was a genuine issue that couldn’t have been predicted, then yeah, I’d be annoyed.

ETA: I’ve just seen your peeing DD is a teenager, not a small child. Yeah, YABU.

I don't understand anything about the timings of this.

What time were you supposed to arrive and what time did you actually arrive?

What meal was this supposed to be if you presumably arrived late afternoon?

To be clear. It's 2.5 HR drive for us so 5 roundtrip
For the other family 1 HR, so 2 hour roundtrip.
We have apologised for lateness.
We booked meal as early eve and did sandwich lunch en route.
The meal was booked for all of us. But on the day they decided to cut short and left after starters to go to a different restaurant.
40 mins may seem late. I agree. But there was plenty do to. My DS has travel sickness which is well known. We stopped once for 15-20 mins and there was something on road made us divert which in total 40 mins. The friends husband was fine asked if DS ok. And didn't seem bothered.

The meal was booked for 7 people as early eve meal starter, main, dessert which they booked. We were happy with the day but they left after the starter. Saying they decided to go to a different restaurant. We didn't want to sit at a big empty table so went saw some other sights then had dessert elsewhere.
These friends been late for me before - I wouldn't question just always happy they are there. Especially if it's a sunny day in a beautiful town. They'd grabbed little walk & milkshake so not sure why it was big deal. We had the whole day together. It felt very passive aggressive when they left as just announced they had rang and booked another place, stood up and went.
I felt that was strange & bit rude.?

I don’t really understand your post either, the driving times don’t make sense.Sorry missed your clarification while typing.

Sorry I still don’t understand

Sounds like while they were waiting for you, they discovered there was a different restaurant nearby or on their route home (??) and decided they’d rather have dinner there?? So left half way through the meal with you? Is that right??

If so that is exceptionally odd and rude behaviour even if you were late.

How’s the friendship in general? Are there other tensions? Are you often late when you meet them to do stuff?

Teenagers shouldn’t need to stop mid journey for a wee if they’ve gone before they left, on a 2.5 hour drive. And surely giving the dogs a run out is something you’d plan for and leave extra time?

Something like that I’d plan to be early so as not to get stuck in traffic and be late.

Their actions do sound odd but yes perhaps they were trying to show that cutting bits off the day, either at the beginning or end, is annoying. Or they wanted to get away ahead of the return traffic? Or perhaps it just was their favourite place.

That is extremely weird and rude if I've understood correctly...you planned to spend the day together, booked an early evening dinner, they ate starters then said they were off because they'd decided to book somewhere else for dinner? That's just ... mad?!

Yes, that's right. Sorry if wasn't clear. They waited for us to arrive start of day.

Then during meal late afternoon walked out after starter & said they wanted to go to a restaurant because they really like it (it's close to their home, could go anytime - why the day when it was about spending day together).

It felt passive aggressive because we were late earlier in day, and feels disproportionate to any upset we may have caused by running late and them saying it wasn't a problem but it clearly was.

Can't believe the vote! Unbelievably rude! Especially as you had a far longer drive than them. I wouldn't be able to help myself speaking to them about it either.

It still makes no sense as you said they left at 5.30 but also that they stayed for a starter and the meal was booked for seven? apologies just seen it was booked for seven people not for 7pm

You were late. Whether there was plenty to do is irrelevant and now you're drip feeding your ds gets car sick. Are you often late? Why can't your teens and you manage 2.5 hrs without stopping for a wee and food? It sounds like you just took your time and didn't care very much about leaving your friend waiting.

I would drop the rope with this friendship, OP. They were weird and rude.

I think they probably went somewhere and ate a decent lunch as you were so late.

And then they weren’t that hungry and didn’t want a 3 course meal at dinner time. So they made an excuse.

Yes the only explanation I can think of is it some sort of passive aggressive tit for tat for being late.

Did they seem annoyed the rest of the time? During the walk and swim etc?

Did they tell you when you arrived that they’d made a different dinner plan, or did they wait till you were all sitting at the inn?

Very odd behaviour. If they’re annoyed by your lateness they should say so.

7 people not 7pm

They didn't have a dinner reservation to get to.
I mistyped. It was 2.5 journey for us. 1 HR for them.
We had 3.5 hrs together before our reservation together. There was no meal to miss. They booked it on day while we were there but away from us & announced when we were sat at our joint dinner reservation

‘They waited for us to arrive start of day’ so you were due to meet in the morning? And they stayed with you till 5.30? So they spent lots of time with you.

Tbh from your posts I can understand why you might drive friends mad because your posts repeatedly make no sense. Are you ND? Not meaning to be rude if so.