Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

Maybe they couldn't cope with getting to grips with your conversational style.

None of your posts make any sense.

It does sound very rude to leave midway through a meal to go somewhere else. Very odd I'd be unhappy.

I think that they acted very strangely. If they'd suggested you change booking to a different restaurant for all of you, that would be one thing, but to get up and leave to go elsewhere after starters, seems quite a statement.
Id be quite confused if the rest of the day had gone well.
If it was about the lateness,i think you'd have got that vibe earlier on.
Really odd of them tbh, and I would leave the ball in their court to explain themselves. I wouldn't chase them up.

The post four minutes before mine was all faux "oh, this is so confusing, OP must be neurodiverse". So, that's what I was responding to (I didn't quote it because it was quite long, and not the only one saying similar).

I don't find your post hard to understand OP. Except for the first typo, which I worked out all by myself 😉.
Im not sure why others are finding it confusing particularly.

Yes. I wonder if it's the readers who are ND.....or otherwise.

I'm not sure how a quote of someone else's is a good representation. Start of the day was start of our day with friends.
I don't speak like this in person but yes text can be confusing. I've happily clarified.
Sorry to hear I remind you of your Mum. I feel that is a different situation entirely.
No I'm not normally late.
If I'm honest I find people that are rigid and don't give grace to anyone - lacking empathy or just kindness. Friendship should give & take. We've waited when shoe has been on the other foot. I would laugh it off, understood they felt bad and just enjoy the day. I certainly wouldn't be passive aggressive and walk out of a pre-booked meal after eating the starter.

They make perfect sense.

You are right, their behaviour was weird and rude.

You shouldn't have stopped for 20 minutes when you were running late already though.

You want MN to sift through that garbled statement?
If YOU are unhappy, don't repeat the event.

You're welcome 🙄

I still don’t understand. Is English your first language?

No

I dunno, im ND and I am very used to having to decipher what people mean , and I dont think this one is that hard.

If you’re "close friends" you ought to be able to tell them you were bewildered/upset and ask them what happened! Saying you know they won’t want to discuss it is just avoiding you asking. Unless you plan never to see them again you need to get it out in the open.

Which bit are you struggling with? The posts are entirely understandable.

Quite, I am ND too.

Maybe try and different post or thread if you cant cope with this one.

How long before the planned meeting time did you leave?

At what point did you make them aware how late you would be? Before or after they would also have had to leave home?

And as for your friend “not liking confrontation”

Thats the script for people who pull this type of crap. They can pull it because no one will go “oh hang on X, I realise we were late and I apologise for that but you’re now leaving early to go elsewhere at short notice”.

I don’t like being late. I don’t like people being late. But unless you have form for it I agree it does feel like a fit for tat punishment you’re meant to just shrug and accept.

This. Did they not order a main meal or discuss what they were going to have while looking at the menu? Normally the starter and main are ordered together.

Is yours, or do you just have SEN?

Well maybe you can explain the timings then! As in when they were meant to meet, why stop for lunch, where does the swimming come in etc because I don't get it either!

If her daughter was travel sick, I think prioritising punctuality , over your child being ill, would be a bit shitty.
Updates were given as to the situation.

It wasnt time sensitive.

Simply this. It would have irritated me so much that I too wouldn’t be able to enjoy the day and would find an excuse to leave.

I’m not sure they’re leaving early had anything to do with you being late. I think they’d just had enough. Maybe it was to it company. Maybe their child had enough of your child. Maybe something happened between the 2 children. It’s a weird excuse they used for sure. I would have thought of a better one, somethings come up at home. Child isn’t feeling well etc but not soz we’ve made another dinner reservation.

I know you said your friend doesn’t like confrontation. But I think in this case I’d be asking WTF and also be prepared for the end of the friendship because I wouldn’t put up with this kind of stuff from a friend